Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Taking a Trump

I have a theory. It is this: Everyone in this world is fucked in the head. It gets a bit more detailed, but that’s the gist of it. Everyone has been short circuited by their parents (or lack thereof) in some way, shape or form. I’m sad to say I may be the most stable person on earth. And my existence involves drinking as much beer as possible, convincing my wife she can’t do better than me, my boys I’m the coolest dad ever, and shirking any and all responsibility. Needless to say I’m failing miserably at all of them.

But none seem more twisted than those in the public eye. Exhibit A: Donald Trump. Exhibit B: Rosie O’Donnell. For whatever reason, the rich-beyond-belief Trump has taken exception to the comments….oh, you know what…who fucking cares? They’re both petty and bitter and should have much better things to be doing than getting involved in this bullshit. Trump has more money than his grandkid’s grandkids will ever use. Rosie is a talentless hag who thinks acting simultaneously shrill, condescending and hypocritical makes her interesting. Let’s throw into the mix Barbara Walters, the journalistic hack who raised to new levels the concept of ‘creampuff interview’ and you have three people with more fame and fortune than even they could have imagined not being able to play nice. Or even play normal.

I’m sure they all have some pathological need to keep their names in the news. That once they become famous their one fear or insecurity is no longer being relevant. After all, there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Just ask OJ. That the new season of The Apprentice was starting, I’m sure had nothing to do with getting Trump all riled up. You can’t help but wonder if his outrage was calculated.

Think of it this way: if you took away the money, the tabloid coverage, the fame and saw these three on the street acting this way, what would you do? Right, cross to the other side. Let’s all avoid the ranting fat woman dressed like a man and the loud guy with bad hair. Quick kids, run!

Let’s all cross to the other side and concentrate on more important things. Like who’s round it is or if this is the best season of ‘24’ or just a tie with all the other seasons.

Today’s distraction: Climb Trump’s Corporate ladder. If it’s anything like real life it will have a nepotism elevator that only goes up.


French said...

I hate Trump and I hate Rosie. And I hate 'Baba Wawa' as my parents refer to her.

By the way, my Mach score was a 54. So I'm socially inept and naive...But dumbass made me feel better about saying that I just see the good in everybody. She's a good girl, isn't she?

BeachBum said...

Yeah, I could never take Baba seriously after Gilda Radner.

Glad you're referring to DA as her given name already. Strange how suitable it is, no? But, you're right. She is a great gal and one of my favorite people.

Be proud of your 54!