Sunday, February 4, 2007

BeachBum's Weekend Spectacular!!

Actually, considering I was sick as a dog, it was more of a 'can't believe I made it through everything without an oxygen mask' type of weekend. It was fun, but I was worn down, which cut down on the potential. Spectacular is a bit strong, but would you be reading if it was titled 'Beach's So-So Weekend'?

Here's the rundown:

Friday night:
Had some old friends over for drinks. Married couple who we've known for a few years now. Wife works with my wife and me and her husband get along great. He's a Fed and described his last assignment for me. "I flew to Vegas to follow these two guys we think are potential terrorists around the city. They went into the ESPN Zone and stayed there for 5 hours. My job was to sit at the bar, keep an eye on these guys, drink slowly and watch all the games." I don't need to tell you he's my hero. He also got to hang out with Angelina Jolie's father on the flight back, Mr. Jon Voight. I asked if he brought up Constanza buying his old car, but he either doesn't watch Seinfeld or doesn't find me amusing. Quite frankly, it's a toss up.

I'm always perplexed at what to do about his wife. We get along great, but she also smoking hot and I have a hard time not checking her out. I found this thought works great for a deterrent: "He's an ex Army Ranger and can kill me quietly in about 15 different ways". Works every time.

Coughing fit woke me up around 2am on Saturday morning. I never fully understood the term 'coughing up a lung' until this 20 minute episode. It seemed, quite literally, that my lungs were trying to forcefully remove themselves from my body. My back is still sore from this and it hurts every time I breath, which I have since cut down on. Every other minute seems to work ok, despite the dizzy spells.

Saturday Night: My buddy's 40th party, as I've mentioned before. Plan was to meet at the Grand Canal and go from there, but there was a $50 per person benefit going on and we couldn't get in. Wound up meeting up in their limo outside Boston Beer Works and going to Vox. Vox!! Me in Vox. Who would have ever thought? I wound up surrounded by Eurotrash and paying $12 for espresso martinis. However, we did manage to find a prime spot at the bar and wound up hanging out and making fun of all the metros and checking out the girls in tight outfits even though our significant others were right next to us. I've known this guy since first grade and we've developed a unspoken complex communication code when it comes to pointing out hot chicks to each other.

I took the opportunity to float an idea for his upcoming bachelor party to our SOs. It involved me and him going to Vegas for three days. It was quickly shot down by both females, at which point I imparted lesson number one to my buddy about married life. "Don't sweat it. We'll tell them we're going to Atlantic City or Foxwoods instead and go to Vegas anyway." I'm such a positive influence.

Fortunately an alternate plan developed when both girls got completely shitfaced after chugging 4 different types of martinis. Buddy's girl started giving dirty looks to everyone around her and dropping F-Bombs before running out of steam and laying her head down in the middle of a puddle on the bar. I figure we can convince both of them they agreed to Vegas and they just don't remember.

Night was punctuated with my friend whipping out a bag of coke in the limo and doing lines off a Bob Marley CD case. Thought it ironic he was snorting of Marley's face. Couldn't bring myself to do any as I'm now a father, have always had an issue shoving things up my nose, it's not 1986, and really didn't want to end my night in cardiac arrest. I will happily admit that if he wanted to pay proper tribute to Marley, I would have been all in.

So now it's Sunday morning, wife is laying on the coach with a heating pad on her face and I'm left wondering how she's going to make her chili for the game in such a condition. She's so selfish!

No distraction today as the Super Bowl will be distraction enough.

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