Saturday, February 24, 2007

Forever Learning

I like that saying "You learn something new every day". I like it so much I use it whenever I learn something new. Drives people crazy, which adds to the appeal. The exchange usually goes like this:

"Excuse me, but you're not supposed to let your kids put bags over their heads."

"Really? Even if they're butt ugly?"

"No. They could suffocate and die. Don't you see the big warning diagram on the front? It means 'Don't let you kids play with this bag'."

"OH! I thought it was explaining it's uses. Hmmm. Well, what if I just poke some holes in it so he can breathe with it on? He really seems to like it. Look how excited and red his face gets."

"That means he can't breathe."

"Here, let me poke a hole in it with my knife."

"Jesus Christ!! Is that thing legal??!!"

"Sure. I bought it off the internet. Everything's legal off the internet right? Even if they're 'Barely Legal', right? Wink, wink, eh buddy? It supposed to be for hunting, but I've found all sorts of uses for it. You should see how the ladies react to it."

"Shit, man, be careful with that thing!!! Don't put it near the kid's face....oh....JESUS!!"

"There. Seems like he's breathing fine now. Listen to those big, rasping breaths he's taking. That's a good boy!"

"What the fu...."

"Hey, Hey, watch your mouth in front of the boy!"

"I'm calling the police. If your kid is lucky they'll take him away from you!"

"Calm down, man. This isn't even my kid"

"Wha....what do you mean?"

"Just found him in the toy aisle and figured he needed looking after. There was some frantic woman in there looking for her son. Was kind of freaking the little man out so I took him for a walk."

" insane??!! You can't just take someone else's kid!!"

"You can't?!! Really? Huh. Learn something new every day."

Today's distraction: See how much you've learned in high school geography. The link will take you to a US State test. I scored a 146 out of a possible 150. The only ones I missed were Missouri and Wyoming and let's face it, the people that live in those states probably couldn't find them, either.


French said...

146, too. I tell ya, when it comes to those northwestern states, they all look the same. Does that make me a bad American? I feel like I could differentiate between European countries easier that I could northwestern states.

BeachBum said...

Me too. I always get confused by all the square ones. Stupid square states.