Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Ode to Winter

I hate you winter
You are one cold bitch
You make my eyes water
You make my skin itch

I want you to go away
And never return
I want my summer back
I want a sunburn

I want pools and beaches
I want AC running, not heat
I want 80 degree weather
I want to be outside when I eat

Screw you, winter
Nobody wants you here
The only thing you're good for
Is keeping cold in my beer

With you around
My hands are extra dry
They crack and bleed
And make me want to cry

I don't want to wear gloves
I don't want to shovel snow
I want you to get the hell out
Just take your shit and go

I realize you've been better
Than you have been most years
But that's small consolation
When I've lost both my ears

Your wind is colder than hell
I never want you to blow or swirl
Ask anyone who knows me
I'd never say that to a girl

It's nothing personal, winter
People just like summer more
They get to go outside
Head down to the shore

I hear there are some people
That like having you around
But they tend to be skiers
Their minds not sound

I don't want to hear any complaints
Do not sneer or pout
Just take your snow and cold
And get the fuck out!!

Today's distraction: Take your mind off the winter blues and enjoy the good life. Try and help the effect by playing calypso music. Or Beach Boys. Whatever floats your boat. Ahhh, boats.....


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