Saturday, March 31, 2007

Test Patterns

Random sites and thoughts that don't deserve their own entries. Actually, now that I think of it, that pretty much applies to this entire blog. 'You are coming to a sad realization. Deny or Allow?'

Have trouble waking up in the morning? Hit the snooze alarm so many times you have carpal tunnel? Help is here. Good luck tracking down Clocky in the morning. I will never buy this because I know it will be smashed into smithereens by the second day.

Here's a highly entertaining test on whether you can tell the difference between a computer programmer or a serial killer. I did horribly, but can't figure out if that's an insult to programmers or serial killers.

Congrats to Mia Hamm and Nomar for their new twin girls. What do you think Nomar's OCD routine is before picking the babies up? Wash hands, touch faucet three times, wash hands again, dry hands, tap self on nose four times, make sure you only take five steps towards the babies. If more than five, restart routine.

I've always enjoyed it (when I remembered it was on), but this season 'House' has turned into the best written show on TV. Now I don't miss it. Thank you DVR!

While we're here, 'Lost' has finally got it's mojo back after a season and a half of distractions. It was never terrible, but the last 5-6 episodes were some of the best of the series. The last one reminded me of old 'Twilight Zone' episodes with a twist ending that leaves you with a knot in your stomach. Nice to have you back.

One thing I've always wanted to do was collect cars. However, that would mean me being born into money (didn't happen), figuring out some idea that will make me rich and famous (yeah right), or winning a hundred million dollar lottery (doubtful).

Know how sometimes art imitates life? Well, if you've seen 'Minority Report' take a look at how life is imitating art. And not in a good way.

Anyone considering having kids should ponder this British survey: 1/3 of new parents lose the equivilant of 2 months of sleep over the baby's first year. Told you I've been tired.

Last week in Darwin, Australia, some burglars got it on in the victim's master bedroom before robbing him blind. Police confiscated some bedsheets for DNA testing. Quote the house owner, 'I've told the police that I don't want them back'. The best part was the owner had hired a house sitter to guard against this kind of thing, but 'He'd been out drinking and didn't hear what was going on'. I need to move to Australia.

I can't rationally explain why I like some bands over others, but one of my current favorites is Alkaline Trio and I highly recommend their new one 'Remains'. It's a B-Side/Alternate takes/Unreleased type of compliation CD (22 songs!) that strangely doubles as their best work. They're a punk pop band out of Chicago who write disturbingly funny lyrics I relate to. Not sure if I relate to them in spite of their derangement or because of it. Lines like 'I'm older, but don't feel any smarter', 'I'm having fun being selfish and drunk and vulgar and lazy', 'I'm not much of a jester, but I've just poisoned food for you' and, one of my favorite lyrics where the singer is giving someone advice: 'Just be true to yourself, if it lands you in hell, well at least now you know'. Perfect! Plus, check out their kick ass cover of Berlin's 'Metro'.

Some myths dispelled about the love of my life. As Homer says 'Ahhh, beer...the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.'

The attention span of teenagers must be shrinking by the second. Former head Mousketeer, Michael Eisner, has created an online video production company and is releasing it's first project. It's an online series called 'Prom Queen' and each episode runs a whopping 90 seconds. On the bright side, the first 80 episodes are already in the can. I really hope this isn't Hollywood-speak and they meant that the first 80 episodes have been flushed down the toilet.

Oh, they've reached an agreement with MySpace to air the episodes 12 hours before they release them to YouTube and other online video sources. Score one for MySpace!

YouTube did get some good news, though. Turkey lifted it's ban on the site after confirming several videos 'allegedly' insulting the founder of modern Turkey had been removed. Ahter Kutadgu, head of corporate communications for Turk Telekom, said, 'As soon as the court decision lifting the ban reached us, we immediately opened YouTube.' Nice to know I'm not the only working stiff spending a majority of my time on that site.

Stumbled across 'The Fantastic Four' on HBO Friday night just in time to see Jessica Alba strip down to her underwear. Is there anyone more smoking hot then she is? For the record, here are my Hollywood Top 5: Alba, Rachel McAdams (who I may be in love with), Halle Berry, Jessica Biel (the one in 'Blade 3', not the one in 'Stealth'. Her head was huge in that. Think it was the uniform) and Jennifer Aniston. Going to expand this to 10 in a future entry. I'll even add pictures of them in bikinis if I can find them. Since Maxim was invented, that shouldn't be hard.

Final Four tonight, baby!!! Can't friggin' wait. I'm hoping to get together with my buddy later so I can watch the games uninterrupted (read: no wife, no kids) and get shitfaced. Just like the good old days.

Today's distraction: Um, the Final Four. I just told you about it.....remember?


Jim Hammen said...

Just wanted to say thank you for the Robot Chicken Darth Vader clip. I watch it every morning to get my day started right.

BeachBum said...

My pleasure. Still one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen.

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