Thursday, April 12, 2007

Notes from a G.N.O.

G.N.O. stands for Guys Night Out. I managed to score some primo seats last night (see view above) and took my buddy StevieD, who managed to get trashed (see pic below). Some notes from a fun evening.

- Pervert StevieD decided he wanted to meet me at the Hooters by the arena. I had never been and had the worst buffalo tenders ever and felt like I was in a strip club. All the degenerates from the area were hanging at the bar gawking at girls that wouldn't cut it at the Foxy Lady (um, not that I would know). I just felt strange being there. As I told my buddy, 'My main problem here is where are all the girls to talk to? It's all guys here.' Strange, serial killer type guys at that. We didn't stay long.

- We proceeded to Hurricane O' Reilly's where the following exchange happened almost as soon as we sat down. Blond, semi-cute girl comes up and asks my friend, 'How tall are you?'

'Six eight,' his answer

'Wow, that's tall'

'Yeah, get that all the time'


'That's really tall'

'yeah', noticing the scrubs she's wearing, 'you a nurse?'

'No, physical therapist. Why you asking?' My thought 'You're wearing surgical scrubs, dummy'

Buddy's answer 'um' and points at her outfit

'Oh, yeah,' her response.......'so, you're really tall'.
At this point I can't help it and have to insert myself. 'You know he was in 'Celtic Pride'. He was the guy that calls Time Out, Ref during the game scene'

She looks at me, looks at him, looks at me, looks at him, me again, him again, me again.

Finally I say, 'I know you don't believe me, but rent it and check it out.'

She says 'Uh huh' and I say, 'no, I mean right now. Go rent it and check it out. We'll wait here until you get back.'

She gives me a dirty look and heads to the ladies room, comes back and starts snuggling up with a guy at the bar. Girls are weird.

- Quick note: this is the friend who's father was diagnosed recently with emphysema and congestive heart failure after smoking for 30 something years. Revelation of the night is he also has bone cancer. Buddy tells me this as he's heading out for a cigarette. Don't get it. I just don't.

- Best seats ever at this game. Directly behind the Celtics bench. Un-freaking-believable.

- Doc Rivers walks like he has a pole up his ass. This means one of two things: He has something up his ass or he has some major back injury from his playing days. I think it's the first one.

- The first thing coaches drill into your head when you start playing basketball is how to properly play defense. The key is to keep your hands up. Not one...and I'm not exaggerating...not ONE Celtic player kept his hands up on defense. Not one. What the fuck??!! This is the basic defensive stance and nobody on the team was using it.

- Two things came to mind when I saw this. 1: Doc doesn't spend nearly as much time as he should having the players practice defense. 2: He told them not to play defense. Quite frankly, it's a toss up.

- Some player impressions from up close:

Sebastian Telfair - Sucks. Always looking for his own shot first and gets burned on defense every time down the court. The only way he becomes a decent player is by putting aside his ego and putting in the work on both ends. At least 2-3 years away from being a solid player IF he has the work ethic. I notice Doc had him and Rondo out at the same time for a while. I'm guessing he thinks ST is a shooting guard first and foremost.

Rondo - (calling him by one name from now on. Like Pele) Love this guy. Constant hustler and someone that just makes things happen. Noticed he hit a couple of mid range jump shots. If he gets consistent with that, he will be dangerous. Quick as a cat, too. He even drove by his guy and slammed one down just after I asked my friend if he thought Rondo could dunk. Question answered.

Ryan Gomes - Solid guy, but one of those that seems to not have a clue on defense. Again, not sure if this was something he needs to work on or something he was coached to do.

Kendrick Perkins - Fucking huge! Just a mammoth guy. At least six eleven and has some nice post up moves. Foot work on defense needs improvement, but could be a monster on both ends if he puts the work in.

Allen Ray - Best outside shot on the team. Needs to work on his defense. This is not a recording.

Pinkney - Don't even know his first name, but when I saw him I said to my friend 'Wait, Ed Pinkney is too old to play anymore. Is this a tribute?' He was as confused as I.

Paul Pierce - Was in streets until halftime at which point he never came back. Two other players disappeared at the same time until there were only seven players left. Five on the floor and two on the bench. I kept wondering if there was an orgy going on in the locker room. Decided they were probably playing NBA Live on XBox 360.

Gerald Green - Unlimited potential. Quick as hell and jumps out of the gym. Needs to work on...say it with me...his defense. Was constantly out of position. Still, has Kobe like moves and make things look effortless. If he has any sort of drive and/or work ethic, he'll be a superstar. We'll know for sure next year.
Leon Powe - No idea what to make of this guy. He busts his ass on the court, but he also wound up with 3 fouls with more than 5 minutes to the first half! Will make a serviceable backup to Gomes if he sticks around.

Bottom line: Both my friend and I agreed that if they manage to get one of the top two picks, they should trade Pierce, keep the young guys and build from scratch. Or even if they don't, use Pierce to trade up. I kept thinking that if either Oden or Durant joined the guys playing, they could be trouble for any other team. As it stands, the Celtics are young, quick and VERY athletic.
Untouchables: Rondo, Gomes, Green. Everyone else use if it can make you better. I would even argue Ray, but he's so raw it's tough to tell.
- Must admit it was strange talking about the team only to realize they could hear what we were saying. Most noticeable when we were talking about trading Pierce, then looking up and there he was about 5 feet away.

- Final note. My buddy wound up getting trashed. See picture below for exact status. When I took this picture, three guys on the platform started laughing. 'What are friends for?', they chuckled. Exactly!

Today's distraction: List of Guy Rules. I know, a bit recycled, but I'm tired. I'll make it up to you tomorrow.

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