Wednesday, May 30, 2007

More New Friends

Some new friend requests from MySpace I wanted to share.

Maggie: I would link to her page, but it contains 'adult content' and asks you to install some questionable plug in viewer. I was tempted, but declined. I can tell you she's bold enough to share her preferred color in panties on her profile picture (say that three times fast). However, I'm more than disappointed she went with lime green. Totally clashes with her obviously bleached blonde hair.

Decision: DENIED!

Dolly Parton Addict!: No really, that's the screen name. I denied it just for that reason. No need to go into much depth here.

Mira: Gotta admit, this one showed some promise. Until I opened up the link and discovered I had been pre-approved for some sort of loan I didn't apply for. However, I needed to fill out some information to get the full benefit of the low interest loans.

Decision: Unless I want my identity stolen, DENIED!

Cinnamon: Apparently Cinnamon is a 'very shy girl'. However you wouldn't know it by the semi-naked pictures splashed all over her page. All I know about her is she's 25 (or so she claims), lives in the U.S. and is actually named 'Ballerina'. So she goes by Cinnamon and Ballerina and I'm guessing neither are her real name. She also likes to 'listen to you make noises just before and when you unload!' Yeesh. What kind of 'shy girl' are you? From her pictures, I gather she likes collagen injections and other forms of plastic surgery.

Decision: After taking a scorching hot shower in a vain attempt to feel clean again, DENIED!

Brandi: Her quote is 'Hello'. So nice. Of all the slimy, naked girl, fake postings, this one is the most realistic. She makes it seem like she lost a bet with 'Mike' who's listed as one of her friends and the bet was 'loser has to put up naked pictures of themselves on the internet for a week'. Of course it links to another site since MySpace won't allow nude photos (stupid MySpace!).

In the name of research, I tried to see said naked pictures, but - SURPRISE! - it takes you to a site you need to sign up for. No thanks. You're cute, Brandi, but I've seen better looking women than you naked in real life.

Decision: DENIED!

NOTE: I had another friend request from Siena, who looks remarkably like Brandi. They must be twins.

On more note before we make history. I keep getting messages from someone named Diane who always leaves me this message:
If you're reading this, Diane, everyone in MySpace hates you.

El Jac: Found this dude in my Friend Request box mingled in amongst the fake porno and sales calls. Figured out it was actually someone I knew. Must admit it threw me since I really don't know that many people and the ones I do know want nothing to do with me. El Jac (who I'm not linking to out of his privacy and sense of common decency for everyone else) is a 27 year old male from Boston who seems to have an unhealthy fascination with WestGate. Not sure what or who that is, but to each his own. One positive is he seems to be friendly with some pretty girls.

Decision: ACCEPTED (no shit!). One thing El Jac, if you and my other friend ever part ways, know that my loyalty is to my first friend. You'll be dropped like a bad habit (a saying I never really understood. Isn't dropping a bad habit hard to do?). Just want to be clear going into our MySpace relationship.

Today's distraction: Use your mouse to throw Boneless Girl around. Fun, but wears out it's welcome rather quickly.


French said...

Hypothetically, how in God's name are you gonna be able to come to our wedding? I mean, we'll give you a 'plus one'. but I'm thinking you'd be better off renting a date.

Either way, you have to send a gift. Doesn't seem fair...

BeachBum said...

Fuck that! If I don't get free booze out of it, there is no way in hell you're getting a gift out of me.

French said...

How about this...if you can't come, we'll leave a tab open at your bar of choice for an entire weekend day. Do we then get a gift?

BeachBum said...

I'd actually rather come to the wedding and rag on all of DA's friends. But if I can't pull that off, the bar thing sounds good. I'd rather you two be there and make a night of it.

Anonymous said...

Ummm, do I get a say in any of this? And what friends are you 'ragging on'?

BeachBum said...

If you had any say I wouldn't even be invited.