Monday, June 4, 2007

Idiot Museum

A friend of mine once recounted a conversation she had with her boyfriend. He was arguing that while he knew the Holocaust actually occurred, he could understand why some people refused to believe it. My friend countered that there was zero reason to even entertain such an insulting possibility and that to argue such a position is being ignorant to the facts.

She further argued that people who claim such things in the face of overwhelming evidence are trying to push a cause or beliefs that have no merit.

'Give me another example', he says.

Without missing a beat she replied, 'Evolution'.

Indeed. Despite the massive scientific evidence that claims otherwise, there is a 'Creationist' movement that firmly believes the earth is only a few thousand years old, the big bang is a bunch of bullshit (although they would never use such a word) and that kids and dinosaurs frolicked together in the Land of Tripoli.

Here we are in the year 2007 and still people refuse to believe in the obvious. Even more alarming, our President is among them. We're not talking about a few people either. We're talking about thousands, perhaps millions, of self proclaimed Christians. See, they think that the Bible is a literal historic (historical?) document that explains how life started on this blue ball. We didn't evolve from small microbes that lived hundreds of millions of years ago. God created Adam, then yanked out his rib and created Eve. Then a talking snake convinced that bitch Eve to take a bite of an apple and all hell broke loose. Stupid Eve. She never knew how good she had it.

Moses parted the Red Sea by waving his big stick. God showed his displeasure by killing all first born boys one night. The burning bush. The Ten Commandments. Cain and Abel. Jesus walking on water, turning water into wine (how cool would he be in college?). All true! Just like it says in the Bible.

Better yet, they've even opened a museum about it. Now we're talking! Just when I think I'm running out of material. God bless the lunatics!

Located in Petersberg, Kentucky, the Creation Museum was 'designed by a former Universal Studios exhibit director, this state-of-the-art 60,000 square foot museum brings the pages of the Bible to life'. The tagline is 'Prepare to believe'.

I'm prepared. Let's take a walk through of the museum. Excuse me, age before beauty. The museum claims to answer ancient mysteries and has a pleasing front exterior. So far, so good. Inside are fossilized dinosaurs (or fake fossils as far as I know) as well as ones that watch over the entrance. 'Are they alive?' Oh goody, this should be fun.

Further along is a cafe for snacks and a gift shop chock a block full of DVDs, books, CDs and other useful resources for learning why God created us and let's little babies die horrible deaths. What? Isn't that an ancient mystery? Don't forget, it continues, to 'stock up and tell others what you’ve discovered'. As Jesus probably said, 'Oy!'

Make sure you visit The Stargazers' Room - where you can stare up and marvel at God's creation. Apparently, just staring at the stars in enough to prove God's existence. 'Discover that the latest images of the stars confirm an all powerful Creator, not a random bang'. Hey! I happen to like random bangs! Not sure how the latest images are proof, but it must be more persuasive than the mountains of scientific evidence that's out there. It must be! I mean, how could they open a museum if that weren't the case?

Other highlights include an IMAX theater where you can go back in time and watch 'Biblical history come alive', a lobby with waterfalls (or the sounds of them), and a room titled 'A Day In Paradise' where you can experience life without pain or fear. How about ignorance and anger? Are those in Paradise?

Also enjoy the Plaza where you can rest your weary and blasphemous feet. Visit Pre-Flood World and ignore the rantings of some crazy guy named Noah who is preaching about the end of the world. Step on crazy man's Ark and find out how he and his family took care of all those animals. Wonder if they have a slaughter room? Visit Ancient Babylon and 'discover how the science of anthropology actually confirms the Bible’s history'.

Finally we come to the whole point of this building: The Bible Authority Room. I will let the museum have it's word. 'The Bible is true. No doubt about it! Paul explains God's authoritative Word, and everyone who rejects His history-including six-day creation and Noah's Flood-is ‘willfully’ ignorant'. Now, I'm not sure who Paul is, but he sounds like a douchebag.

Look, I'm not slamming anyone's religious beliefs. I'm just making fun of them. People can believe whatever they want, but don't insult people's intelligence and call them names because they happen to subscribe to scientific facts. That's why I write this blog! It seems like just what my friend argued - that people willingly ignore facts to further a cause.

Why is it impossible to believe in a god AND evolution? Do they have to be mutually exclusive? Why can't the Big Bang be God's creation? Why can't I believe the stars hint at an all powerful creator, but don't necessarily prove it? Why does the Bible have to be taken at it's word and not be questioned as a metaphor or the ramblings of an insane mind? I'm not saying any of these things are true, but is it so bad to ask these questions?

More importantly, why does one extreme part of our country seem so intent on ramming their beliefs and opinions down our throats? Anyone have an answer for that?

Today's distraction: A fascinating argument for the Creationist point of view. I can't make heads or tails of it other than the author saying that since the Evolutionists don't literally believe the Bible, they are working off different 'presuppositions'. If I may summarize - Creationists believe in the Bible, Evolutionists believe in what the scientific evidence shows them.


Anonymous said...

Wow, sometimes I forget how smart I am and then you remind me...thanks.

BeachBum said...

I know! I am a constant threat to your own humility.

Anonymous said...

Oh who are we kidding...I never forget, it just sounded good.

BeachBum said...

I, of course, knew that. You and humility never were a good match. One of the reasons I like you.

French said...

I think you should clarify...'ex boyfriend'... For a second I thought I had made that argument but then I remembered that I'm not brain dead.

Honestly, who dies and comes back from the dead? And frankly, Jesus was WAY TOO FRAIL to haul that cross up a huge hill. Unless, of course, the cross was made of plastic. But then he never would have been held up by a few nails. The would have needed an industrial-size glue gun. Imagine THAT STORY.

BeachBum said...

'Ex-boyfriend' - n - former male partner that ruined his chances at a happy relationship by arguing the validity of Holocaust doubters.

BTW, I only semi-kidding about this. I could make a solid argument that this particular relationship started collapsing after this discussion took place. Hard to make amends with someone that just revealed he may, in fact, be insane.

French said...

"Hard to make amends with someone that just revealed he may, in fact, be insane."

Agreed about making amends but by this token, shouldn't you have been a single man long ago?

Anonymous said...

He makes an excellent point.

BeachBum said...

I'm trying to figure out if you're implying I am insane or my wife....'s becoming clear....