Friday, July 13, 2007


Meet Senator David Vitter. He is a Republican Senator for the state of Louisiana that used to be a Representative for his district. A life long politician, as will soon become glaringly evident.

He is, like all Conservative Christians, a devoted family man. He loves his wife (like any politician would claim otherwise) and has four beautiful children. There is even a candid picture of him with said family on his website. Don't they look adorable? And look to the right. He's actually talking to a group of people. What a guy!

Quick sidenote: Why do all politicians use the same scenes in their ads and websites? There I am with my family. There I am talking to the common people, thus proving I really am human. Look, there I am at my desk writing what has to be some earth shattering piece of legislation like declaring June 8, 2007 'National Weasel Day'. I want to see one of them sitting at a bar downing a shot or taking a wipe out on a surf board. Think outside the box, Politicos. You all bore me and I don't believe any of it!

Vitter, has been an outspoken opponent of gay marriage, a strong supporter of Bush's tax cuts, and basically backed anything that the Republicans wanted him to. He's voted with his right wing cronies more than 85% of the time. Surprisingly low for a freshman Senator.

Did I mention he's also been a long time client of a Washington, DC escort service. You notice I didn't use 'allegedly' or 'apparently'? That's because he came out and apologized for using her when his phone number was among those published when Pamela Martin and Associates decided to release their client list to the public. Seems the proprietor of this establishment needed to raise funds for her lawyer fees after the Feds charged her with 'racketeering for allegedly running a prostitution ring out of homes and hotel rooms in the Washington area'.

Here is the apology in all it's uncomfortable glory:

"This was a very serious sin in my past for which I am, of course, completely responsible. Several years ago, I asked for and received forgiveness from God and my wife in confession and marriage counseling. Out of respect for my family, I will keep my discussion of the matter there -- with God and them. But I certainly offer my deep and sincere apologies to all I have disappointed and let down in any way."

Wonder if the hookers were any of the people he 'disappointed'?

First of all, how does he know God has forgiven him? Was there some sort of divine voice from the skies that said 'Ah, forget about it. I would have done the same thing'? Did a bird crap on his shoulder and he thought that was his punishment, therefore things were now cool?

Second of all, this has nothing to do with 'respect for his family' and everything to do with him hoping this story just goes away. He can claim that this is between his wife, his God and him, but that's bullshit. He just betrayed every religious, God fearing voter that took him at face value. Fools! That Vitter dismisses this aspect says more about the candidate than about the people that voted for him.

Besides, just like his ejaculations (guessing, but he looks like the type), his apology was premature. Turns out the D.C. spot was just one brothel he liked to visit. Jeanette Maier, who was convicted of running a Canal Street prostitution ring, claims Vitter spent some time with her girls, as well. Vitter claims all of this happened before he was elected to the Senate. You know, when he was a member of the U.S. House of Representatives. Maire claims 'Vitter visited the brothel several times for several years in the mid-1990s'. So wait, he ran as a virtuous, religious family man when he had been frequenting multiple whore houses over the course of several years? Well, yeah. What's the problem? He apologized and his wife and God have forgiven him. Get off his back already! Man alive, you people can be so petty.

It remains to be seen what ripple effect this will have on his career or those of the people around him. He was the first Senator to endorse Rudy Guliani's Presidential bid, something Guliani must be thrilled about right now. I'm guessing it will be minimal, but if more comes out I see resignation all over this.

One more thing before I wish you all a lovely weekend. During his Senate campaign in 2004, Vitter was accused by a member of the Louisiana Republican State Central Committee of frequenting a prostitute in the French Quarter of New Orleans and that the affair was a 'lengthy one'. Vitter's response to this during the campaign: 'absolutely and completely untrue....just crass Louisiana politics'.

So, we can add David Vitter to the long, never ending list of politicians who cheat, lie, deny, then apologize when the truth finally comes out.

Hypocrisy: the gold standard of American politics. USA! USA!! USA!!!

Today's distraction: Take the George W Bush Trivia Quiz. Amusing and depressing at the same time. Kind of like Bush himself.

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