Monday, August 6, 2007

Baseball Wrap

Since I missed last Wednesday and I was too lazy to put together something on Saturday, today will be all about baseball again. Plus it was a rather historic weekend what with Bonds, A-Rod and Glavine all reaching career milestones. Lots to talk about.

Bonds 755th: We are quickly reaching the inevitable and it appears the average fan is warming to Bonds. Sure they still wear the asterisk t-shirts and boo occasionally, but the ovation he got from the San Diego fans made me a bit queasy. Are we suddenly ok with this guy becoming the all time home run king? And, if so, why is that the case? Nothing much has changed as far as I can tell. If he's indicted later on this year, will that change anything? I'm just confused why he's suddenly being embraced by fans outside the SF area. Please, someone, inform me.

A-Rod's 500th: Fastest to 500 by...oh who cares. Remember when Griffey Jr. was the youngest to 300 or something? Look where he is now. A-Rod might not miss entire seasons with freak injuries, but it could happen. He could get hit by a truck crossing the street during his next visit to Boston. Or, more likely, his wife will kill him with a stripper pole the next time he gets caught 'out on the town'. If he gets to 700 during the next 4-5 years, than we can talk. Besides.....

Is Bonds Done?: It's becoming more and more of a possibility that Bonds could play another year or two in the American League and DH for some sucker...er....team. The average fan seems to be coming to terms with Bonds, so why not roll the dice and put some asses in the seats if you're say, the Texas Rangers. Sosa and Bonds on the same team. For the first time ever a team could field two sluggers who have hit over 600 home runs each. You telling me you wouldn't buy a ticket to see them if they came to town? They could call it 'Steroipalooza'.

Home Run Watch: It's becoming harder and harder for me to teach my seven year old the way to properly play the game of baseball watching these ego maniacs show up the opposing pitchers every time they hit a home run. Manny does it all the time, but he's a novice compared to Bonds and his strut every time he hits one. Even A-Rod did it for his 500th, but his was at least understandable as he was trying to figure out if it was going to be fair. I now have to ask my son 'OK, what did he do wrong there?'. 'He didn't run when he hit the ball'. That's great. Two - or three if you include Manny - of the most prolific hitters currently playing and they have to watch their home runs clear the fence. My son asked me 'But Dad, why does he have to run right away if it's a home run?'. So I have to explain that if the ball isn't a home run and you stand there watching it, you look like an idiot when you are standing on first after hitting a 400 foot single.

Glavine's 300th: Which is why I am liking Tom Glavine more and more. A quiet, unassuming guy who I was shocked to learn has a hot wife to boot. Did you see her in the stands? She had a sexy hippy vibe going on. I'm more impressed with Glavine than ever. Talk about a local boy making good! Congrats, Tommy. Oh, and nice job getting 300, too. That was cool. Be nice if you could maybe announce your retirement early so we can get more shots of your wife at your games? Just a thought.

Roger Clemens: Screw his stats, the best thing Clemens will do all year is that Cingular commercial when he calls his wife from the golf course asking if she would mind him playing one more year with the Yankees. 'Just say no and I won't do it.' Of course the call is dropped and you see his wife saying 'No!' emphatically, but silently. Well done, Clemens family.

Red Sox: Nice to see them throw that Seattle monkey off their backs and stomp it to death. Coco almost getting killed by an ATV driven by a moose mascot excepted, everything seemed to come together for the team this weekend. Let's hope it continues.

Detroit Tigers: Man, I write this team off and they take the plunge. Thanks, guys, but you don't need to make me look good. They've lost nine of ten, Kenny Rogers suffered a set back with his arm, and another pitcher was just placed on the DL. The Sox getting Gagne is looking better every day. In case they're reading this, I predict they'll sweep the Yankees in the two upcoming series. 8-0, baby, 8-0. They'll get it turned around!

Kansas City Royals: On the other hand, I praise this team for not being that sucky and they proceed to go out and get annihilated by the Yankees. I think they gave up 150 runs in three games.

Chicago Cubs: They just lost Soriano for 2-4 weeks and were victims for Glavine's 300th. So much for them running away with the division. They could still do that actually, considering their main competition are the Brewers and Cardinals. Not exactly a scary bunch.

New York Yankees: Still only 7 back and holding on, but they have a tough stretch coming up with series at Toronto and Cleveland, followed by Tigers and Orioles at The Stadium, then out west for series against the Angels, then to Detroit. The next 3-4 weeks will make or break their season. Oh, did I mention after the Detroit trip they come home to face the Red Sox? No? How dare I!!!

Things to watch for this week:

- Bonds going for 756. Ugh!

- Bud Selig finding excuses not to be there when he does it.

- Glavine's wife divorcing him when she falls in love with a beach loving, no name blog writer.

- Phil Hughes reinjuring his hamstring when he mistakenly keeps up the old stretching routine from May.

- A-Rod hitting 501. What? That's not a big deal?


Today's distraction: Fun article that imagines where Hank Aaron would be if he played in today's Major League Baseball. I'll give you a hint - Bonds would still be in second place.

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