You've heard about this global warming thing, right? That little problem about us pumping too many greenhouse gas emissions into the air thus causing a cataclysmic, end of the world scenario for our kids. You know about that right?
For those living in a cave, thus using little electricity and helping save the environment (kudos to you!), here is some useful data courtesy of the
Worldwatch Institute to help feed your nightmares:
- In 2006, the world used 3.9 billion tons of oil. Fossil fuel usage in 2005 produced 7.6 billion tons of carbon emissions, and atmospheric concentrations of carbon dioxide reached 380 parts per million. (Care to guess which country leads the world in carbon emissions?)
- More wood was removed from forests in 2005 than ever before.
- Steel production grew 10 percent to a record 1.24 billion tons in 2006, while primary aluminum output increased to a record 33 million tons. Aluminum production accounted for roughly 3 percent of global electricity use.
- The rise in global seafood consumption comes even as many fish species become scarcer: in 2004, 156 million tons of seafood was eaten, an average of three times as much seafood per person than in 1950.
What does this all mean? It means with more carbon emissions, fewer trees to recycle it into oxygen, and our hearty appetite for energy and lobster rolls, we're heading toward the Shit Creek rapids with no paddle, life preserver or helmets.
Are you properly alarmed? Let's hope so. Not that I'm here to depress you. Far from it. I'm here to entertain, enlighten, inform and insult. I've got one of those four perfected, so it's time to practice the other three.
The
WWF (no, not Hulk Hogan's thing) recently published a report stating it's not too late to reverse the trend. The six step plan includes such basics as improving energy efficiency, reducing forest loss, accelerating alternative energy development and developing flexible fuels. I believe the name of the report was titled 'D for DUH!'
Personally, I find it sad that such basic measures for saving our own planet have been delayed for such a long time. We've had the technology (electric car, anyone?) for decades, but the politicians in charge of forcing such change basically have no balls. God forbid they pass legislation that would force those billion dollar car companies to improve their fuel economy and reduce emissions that their vehicles produce. Sure, they have to an extent, but not nearly as much as is needed. Instead we have more horsepower for bigger and bigger SUVs. Check out this
son of a bitch and try to figure out why the MPG is listed as N/A. Really? My mileage is not applicable? It will be when I try to pay that gas pump bill. Oh, it will be very applicable then! On the plus side, you're only paying $51,000 for it.
We aren't giving up, however. As a country we'll fight to the death to find an alternative way to rid the environment of excess carbon dioxide rather then giving up our cool cars. Check out
this plan to fertilize the world's oceans with iron to promote algae blooms. The phytoplankton will then eat up the excess carbon dioxide as it grows and - wah la - instant fix. Don't worry about the cost, though (only an estimated $100 billion), we will spare no expense if it means we can keep our Hummers and Navigators.
Hold on! Put away your wallets. No need to contribute to the billions of dollars needed to run this venture.
Turns out new research has shown that not all algae blooms transport the carbon dioxide to the deep ocean (called 'Biological Pump' - which better not be like a breast pump) as previously thought. Blooms occurring in the summer don't push the carbon to the deep, rather it uses shallow waters. This means the carbon goes right back into the air.
Just as well, anyway. I can just imagine what fields of artificially created algae blooms would do to the ocean. Bad enough we've screwed up our own air, but can we agree to not introduce anything new into the ocean. I'm sure our ruining the world's coral reefs and polluting Shamu's home are enough for now. Besides, that excess carbon still goes somewhere, right? Just deep down in the ocean. What happens then?
Back to the drawing board.
Still, there are legitimate ideas showing enormous promise. Check out these new fangled discoveries:
- Princeton, NJ based Syrdec is developing a material that will generate electricity from 'ambient room heat'. The long term plan is this new material being made into a laptop. The laptop will then draw heat from whatever room it's in (needs to be 72 degrees or above) and convert it into electricity to power itself. Now imagine this material made into cars, television sets, ovens, washing machines...you get the point. Hell, one summer in Florida should be enough to power the entire country for 10 years.
- Scientists in Pennsylvania have
created a fuel cell that creates electricity from coal pollution. No kidding! How cool would that be? No idea how it would work, but imagine cleaning the air while creating energy.
- MIT has developed a process that converts garbage into alternative ethanol fuel. And the process uses virtually no energy. Unlike another alternative fuel I've vowed not to mention again.
- Sandia's researchers may have found a way to
convert solar power into 'carbon neutral liquid fuels'. The researchers intend to 'chemically “reenergize” carbon dioxide into carbon monoxide using concentrated solar power. The carbon monoxide could then be used to make hydrogen or serve as a building block to synthesize a liquid combustible fuel, such as methanol or even gasoline, diesel and jet fuel'. That's right. Take carbon dioxide (of which we have too much) and make it into liquid fuel (of which we don't have enough).
- The
University of Calgary has discovered a new 'methane eating bacteria' in the hot springs area known as Hell's Gate. This new bacteria could fight global warming by 'reducing methane gas emissions from landfills, mines, industrial wastes, geothermal power plants and other sources'. Perfect! I'm sure nothing can go wrong by introducing a new bacteria into the environment.
All of this doesn't include me installing my own wind powered turbine in my backyard. I'm high enough up and have lost enough shingles on my roof to make it feasible. Hell, I've looked into solar panels but they're too expensive to get installed.
Don't worry if all of the above fail miserably. We can always genetically engineer some sort of
'Mighty Mouse' to save the world. Maybe it can run fast enough to reverse the earth's rotation and bring us back in time.
Today's distraction: A sneak peak at
the next Ice Age. Looking at this and experiencing an early New England winter makes me think global warming really isn't so bad. Can we wait a few years before we take any corrective action?
