Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Heated Debates

A work friend (hey, I have a couple) forwarded me some bar debate questions I wanted to share. Below are the questions and how I answered. One of them was very thought provoking and I still couldn't come up with an answer. Feel free to offer any thoughts on any of the questions.

1: If you had to sleep with every member of a band, which group would get lucky?

This is a tougher question for a guy than a girl, I think. A lot of the hot girls tend to be in bands with guys. Since I'm not into gay sex, I needed to mentally inventory all girl bands. I initially went with The Bangles since they were the first hot chick band that popped into my head. Always had a thing for the lead guitarist and Hoffs is nothing to sneeze at. Then I considered the Spice Girls, but that would have meant having sex with Scary Spice. Thanks anyway. Pussycat Dolls were another option, but I'm not convinced they're actually a band.

Finally decided on Destiny's Child. Can't go wrong with any of those three.


2: You're in the water. Would you rather see an alligator or a shark?

Went with shark for two reasons:

A: Sharks don't like the taste of human and they are easier to scare away.

B: When an alligator is in the water it usually means it's hunting. You're screwed!


3: With a million dollars at stake, would you rather shoot a free throw or flip a coin?

This was an easy one. With a coin it's simply 50-50. I'm a good free throw shooter and could hit 7 out of 10 on a bad day. I'd take the free throw.


4: Who would win a war: Texas or California?

I actually had to think this one out a bit. My first instinct was to pick Texas since they have more guns and its population is better trained with firearms.

But then I thought that if Texas people invaded California, they would be charmed by the laid back atmosphere and the lovely ladies that are EVERYWHERE! Plus, there is no doubt that the natives would welcome them with a fine wine and top notch weed. I would bet the Texans no longer attacked, but decide to relocate.

I'm convinced California would win any war with any other state nonviolently.


5: Of all the U.S. presidents, who would make the best drinking buddy?

Kennedy. He was Irish Catholic (read: alcoholic), his father was a rum runner back in Prohibition and he hung out with Sinatra and his cool friends. Plus there would have been an above average chance I could have scored with Marilyn Monroe.


6: How many dates can pass before it's awkward not to have had sex?

Two


7: Televisions will be restricted to only three channels. Pick them.

ESPN, HBO, and Discovery. Pained me to leave out Comedy Central, but I could only pick three and I don't need 5 episodes of 'Scrubs' a day.


8: If you could collect royalties from any single invention, which would you choose?

I wanted to go with something simple, like the paperclip, but those are cheap. So I figured something that nearly everyone uses and costs more than $20. Conclusion: cell phone.


9: Would you rather get a 20 percent raise or work a four-day week?

The four day week. 20 percent of shit is still shit.


10: Which would you rather give up for six months: sex or alcohol?

Here is the Mount Everest of decisions. My nose started bleeding while I considered this. Personally, I don't think I would make it six days without either one, nevermind six months. I went back and forth about this and finally decided I would probably do better giving up alcohol. Either way I'm going to be cranky and irritable (if not homicidal) by the end of this. Sex would make me less so, but not by much. Might be time to re-evaluate things.

NAHHHH!

Today's distraction: Teach yourself some origami. I managed to pull off the crane which is not a euphemism for something dirty.

2 comments:

Jim Hammen said...

For the band I most want to sleep with, I chose Hanson. Hands down. Isn't Taylor kind of a weird name for a girl, though?

BeachBum said...

Not at all. Taylor is kind of a hot name of a chick actually. Just make sure they're all legal first.