Monday, March 10, 2008

Random Crap

I have nothing to say today and no time to say it, so here are some random thoughts I've been mulling over while my wife sleeps 18 hours a day. She's recovering from some bizarre tropical disease that requires antibiotics. Technically it's not tropical, but if you're on antibiotics can't you just make up a more interesting story than 'I have a sinus infection'? I say yes.

- I'm wondering if there is a delayed 'Road House' curse coming into effect. First Jeff Healy dies, then Patrick Swayze discovers he has cancer and may have days to live. Combine it with Kelly Lynch's career dying soon after this movie was released and we may be onto something truly epic.

- I'm going to do a full rundown of Major League Baseball this week. Nothing helps me getter over my winter blues quicker than watching highlights of spring training. Love it!!!

- While we're on the subject, would everyone calm down because Mike Mussina or Josh Beckett or Johan Santana are getting knocked around in spring training. It's not like everyone comes in to camp after a winter off in top form. That's why they have spring training. To work the kinks out and scrape off the rust.

- Nothing is more disappointing than receiving two new Netflix movies and discovering they are both movies you rented for you kids. Since Michael Clayton has a 'Long Wait' we wound up with 'Surf's Up' and 'Meet the Robinsons', neither one of which I watched, but the boys seemed to enjoy.

- I did however catch 'Planet Terror' on Starz and was quite pleased. This is the first half of what was 'Grindhouse' in the theaters and is a tribute to the old drive-in 70 exploitation flicks. They even have a fake trailer at the beginning that is fantastic. As for the movie itself, this is easily one of the goriest things ever filmed, but it isn't squirm inducing like...say...'Saw' or 'Hostel'. 'Planet Terror' is just good old fashion blood and guts and humor and over the top drama. If you grew up with the 'Creature Double Feature' or any of the old horror movies, then you'll get a kick out of this. Plus, you get to see Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas get torn apart and Sayid from 'Lost' get his head blown off. That's always fun.

- I've DVRed the second part (the one Tarantino directed) and plan on watching that this week.

- Wifey picked up our very own espresso/coffee maker this past weekend. Since we were spending way too much on Starbucks she decided we should start making our own. If anyone has any suggestions on how to make a good espresso drink at home, do pass along any tips. I'm just beginning so anything from what brand to buy to the best way to brew it will be appreciated.

- I can't shake the feeling that Kobe Bryant in effect threw a temper tantrum over the summer in order to get what he wanted, then got what he wanted and decided to start behaving. I've never seen an athlete get forgiven so quickly and so often by a fan base than Bryant. Let's count the ways:

1: The entire Colorado rape case, during which he claimed to have cheated on his wife but not having raped the girl.

2: During the course of the rape investigation somehow throwing Shaq to the sharks with allegations that he had a bank account specifically for paying girls he had affairs with to keep quiet.

3: After losing to Detroit in the finals he forces Shaq out of town (you can't tell me otherwise, he was consulted constantly during this process) and Phil Jackson to retire. In exchange the Lakers get Lamar Odom, Caron Butler and the change from Pat Riley's sofa.

4: After getting rid of the two people most responsible for the three championships he won, Kobe then uses the Clippers to up the Lakers offer. He plays coy, then signs with the Lakers for the max money saying the Lakers were where he wanted to stay all along.

5: After complaining they didn't have any 'inside presence' (you know, like Shaq used to provide), the Lakers trade Butler to the Wizards for bust Kwame Brown.

6: Consistently and arrogantly showing up his teammates with poor body language and scowls directed at players who didn't finish plays or hit open shots. This culminated with a bizarre 4th quarter elimination game against the Suns in which Kobe refused to shoot the ball. Let me say that again. An ELIMINATION GAME in the PLAYOFFS in which Kobe effectively quit playing to win.

7: After quitting in above game, he demands a trade claiming the Lakers have not done enough to surround him with quality players. To which those following the NBA the last 4 years say 'Wha..wha...sorry WHAT THE FUCK??!!!'

8: Moping his way through the first two months of the season before the Gasol trade.

Here's what steams me. On multiple occasions throughout his career, Bryant has been ready to ditch the one fan base that seems ok with supporting him. I can say for certainty that if he had pulled any of this shit in Boston the fans would have been glad to see him go and, if he had stayed like he did this year in LA, would have been booed mercilessly every time he played. Seriously, he would have broken down in tears at some point.

This fan/athlete situation reminds me of Bonds and San Fran. Bryant, with his behavior, has basically sealed his fate with the Lakers. What other fan base would accept this kind of bratty behavior? And this isn't even bringing up his inexplicable decision to change jersey numbers thus fucking over every fan that bought his old #8. That was just douchebaggedness at it's finest.

- If you are a bottle water drinker like myself (although my bottles have Anheiser Busch on the label) then feel better about that decision. On the other hand, tap water people may be happier for artificial reasons.

- Just once - one single time - I want a politician's or athlete's wife to act like every other woman in the world and cuss out her husband for cheating on her then throw his shit out on the street and start divorce proceedings the next day. Or at the very least, don't stand by his side while he apologizes to the public. Still waiting

- For the first time in 1500 years, the Catholic Church has updated it's sin list. Included are pedophilia, genetic engineering, pollution, being obscenely rich, drug dealing and causing social injustice. Let's see: Obscenely rich - check; pedophilia - check; causing social injustice (opposition to gay marriage) - check; genetic engineering - if you include not sanctioning birth control then check; drug dealing (burning incense) - check. I had a mental picture of the Pope giving these new sins out then playing poker on his solid gold, custom made table with Bernard Law while wearing his $3000 Prada loafers. If hypocrisy was in place of pollution I would have been convinced this was a fake story.

Ok, I'm done. Very sleepy today from my lost hour of the weekend. Although it will be nice to see the sun again. Until tomorrow.

Today's distraction: Check out this hilarious story (or legend) about a woman who managed to hide her sex for decades and was appointed Pope back in the 800s. There is some uncertainty about whether this is true or not, but the way they eventually find out is absolutely fantastic. I would have loved to see the utter confusion on the faces of all the other Bishops. Question: Couldn't he/she have played it off as an stunning miracle? It was the 800s for crying out loud, people would have bought anything back then.

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