Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Attitude Problem

I am tired and cranky and listless and really have nothing to write about today. It happens. Days when I just can’t think of anything to discuss or rant about. Today is one of those days.

But I will push on. For the readers and for my sanity (I bore easily).

Here are more random thoughts for your consideration.

- It seems LeBron and company grew some balls and fought back in last night’s game. This could be the unifying turning point for the Cavaliers. Sometimes it takes a moment of crisis for a team to come together. The Wizards, for their part, slunk away like a beaten dog. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.

- Ladies and gentlemen, winner of today’s ‘Duh’ article. I love how at the bottom right of this article is a headline reading ‘Exxon Mobil was the most profitable Fortune 500 company last year by far, raking in $40.6 billion in earnings’. Might be time to invest in Canondale.

- No offense, Bruins, but I’m glad you got knocked off last night so we can all stop pretending anyone in the Boston area except die hard hockey fanatics actually care about you. See you next year. Well, not me personally. You know what I mean.

- You know those annoying and painful static shocks you get during the winter months? Well, count your blessings as it could always be much, much worse.

- A friend here at work just showed me a fascinating keep sake. It was one of those metallic Bud Light bottles. You know those new blue ones? It was still sealed tight, but the top of it was scorched black and a small hole was burned right through the cap. He asked me if I could figure out what had happened to it. The beer was gone and he had rinsed it out so it didn’t stink like stale beer.

I though it over and could only come up with ‘Struck by lightning’ or ‘Got in the way of a welding torch’. Turns out he was out golfing with a friend last week. The friend was sitting in the golf cart and wanted to open the beer (these aren’t twist offs). Being told there was a bottle opener in the cart by the attendant, he started looking around for it. He thought he had finally found it under his seat and proceeded to pry the bottle cap off using the black box under the seat.

That black box was actually the battery for the golf cart. Charged battery + metal bottle + man holding metal bottle = hilarious scene. The bottle shot 30 feet across the golf course with beer spewing everywhere while his friend hopped out the other side shaking his arm. He got a shock so bad his arm was numb for hours afterwards.

- Tonight one of my favorite shows comes back after a long absence. ‘Deadliest Catch’ is airing for two hours starting at 8 pm on Discovery. Enjoy!

- As further proof that nobody knows anything, a Javan elephant thought to have been extinct is actually living in Borneo. A paper released today concludes that the elephant was brought to Borneo by the Sultan of Sulu hundreds of years ago. So it’s not extinct, it just moved. Location is everything.

- Every bath night, my two year old pretends to make ‘coffee’ in the tub. This constitutes filling a cup with bath water and drinking from it. Every night we go through the same routine: I tell him not to put the bath water in his mouth, he tells me it’s not bath water ‘it’s coffee, Dad’ then he puts water in his mouth and spits it out. Considering he isn’t toilet trained, yet, it’s not the most sanitary thing to do.

Well, last night he may have been cured once and for all. He pretended to drink his ‘coffee’ and nearly drowned himself when the water poured down his throat. He was sputtering and coughing up the water while my seven year old freaked out. This in turn led to two year old panicking like a fish out of water and throwing up all over the bathroom. Chocolate milk and green beans.

Good times!

- And finally, as a tribute to Earth Day (is it today or was it yesterday?) researchers at Washington University in St Louis (???) are researching ways to mix certain animal waste into clean burning, bio efficient fuel. Says project lead Muthanna Al-Dahhan: ‘Each year livestock operations produce 1.8 billion tons of cattle manure. If it sits in fields, the methane from the manure is released into the atmosphere, or it can cause ground water contamination, dust or ammonia leaching, not to mention bad odors. Treating manure by anaerobic digestion gets rid of the environmental threats and produces bioenergy at the same time. That has been our vision.’ Strangely, he doesn't mention risk of stepping in said shit while it just sits in a field. That's usually my biggest concern.

Today’s distraction: More incredible Lego creations. Who in the hell has time like this on their hands and how do I learn from them?


A Tribute: deer a train and basketball said...

Deadliest Catch is a great show. I've been watching it the last 2 seasons and every year it gets better.

BeachBum said...

Completely agree. Those guys are insane to do what they do. I'm already hooked on this season as they're introducing two newbies and paying close attention to how they're adjusting. One guy was having a breakdown and was told to get off the deck.