This morning has been abnormally busy at work. I’m ready for the weekend already. This is in no way a positive sign for the week to come.
Isn’t today Cinco de Mayo? Why, yes. Yes it is. This means I might be able to swig a few beers in the office today and get away with it. Damn, things are looking up already.
A few thoughts on the weekend that was. It was insane around my house, so there is much to catch up on. Let’s go chronologically for the sole purpose of me not getting confused. Hey, I’m old and have abused alcohol for 20 something years. Things don’t quite work as efficiently as they used to in the old noggin.
I watched the Celtics (more on them below) fail to take care of business in another frustrating loss to the Hawks. At the same time I kept flipping to ESPN to watch the Cavaliers utterly crush the over matched Wizards, then stayed up to watch Utah do the same. This means the best team in the regular season may be upset in the first round of the playoffs for the second year in a row. We now know that didn’t happen, but what the hell?
Considering the over night flood warning we had around this area, I was convinced seven year old’s baseball game was going to be called off. Yeah, no such luck. Instead son and I get to the park and slog through a full six inning game full of rain, freezing temperatures and shivering kids complaining about the rain and freezing temperatures.
My son, for the record, struck out both times he was up. When I told him he was swinging at bad pitches he said, ‘I know! I’m freezing and just want to get this game over with!’ Apparently the rest of his team had the same idea as they were up and down nearly every inning and lost 6-0. Ah, kids!
After finally warming up from the horrible game conditions, I set forth on my biggest project in a long time: Toilet training my youngest. I’m done with diapers. Totally done. Done like last week’s custard (NOTE: I’m trying to see if this saying catches on, so use it around town and with your friends. I don’t care that it makes no sense, just do it!). So, Saturday afternoon I offer him this deal.
If he tries to use the toilet – simply tries – he gets a sticker. I stocked up on Transformers, Cars and Spiderman 3 stickers. Wifey got a blank piece of paper and wrote his name across the top in fancy, cursive writing so it looks official. I found this odd since the kid can’t even read, yet, but he took to it. If he actually does use the toilet, he gets two stickers. Once all of the stickers are used up, he can get a new toy. Yes, this is a form of bribery, but fuck it.
Besides, it’s working! Not only did he use the toilet Saturday, but he used it three times. And he used it Sunday and I got a call from wifey that his teachers called and he used it at school twice already. The ball, as they say, is rolling.
While we didn’t ‘officially’ do anything Saturday night, wifey and I spent the entire night cleaning the house and preparing it for Sunday’s big festivities. I don’t know about any of you, but vacuuming, dusting, rearranging is exhausting. I did manage to squeeze in a round of Tiger Woods Golf for Wii and four beers, but I was wiped and wound up crashing at 10. PAR-TAY!!!
And what were those big festivities? Glad you asked. It was seven year old’s First Communion. Don’t say it, I know. I’ve been railing against organized religion for a while now and my son is getting his First Communion. I even know it should be capitalized! This is all Wifey, just so you know. We’ve had more than a few arguments about me not going to church with them on Sunday’s but that seems to be past us. I sucked it up, risked the lightning strike upon entering the church proper and watched my son and 24 other boys and girls struggle to swallow what the Catholic Church calls ‘bread’. If you aren’t familiar, this bread is flat, hard as a rock and tastes like cardboard.
But, HEY!! It’s holy and important, so gnaw away and consider yourself holy.
Oh, sorry. This is seven year old’s day and I will behave.
One of the first things you need to know is that every boy and girl dress in all white. ALL WHITE. White shirt, white tie, white socks, white shoes, and – in my boy’s case – white hair. The boys just needed a top hat, a gold tooth and cane to look like pimps. The girls all looked like Barbie Princesses complete with tiaras and sparkling shoes.
Father Flamboyant did the ceremony and was just as loud and obnoxious as last time I saw him ‘perform’. He likes to hear himself talk and sing but does so while looking above everybody’s head and constantly moving his eyes and head. It looks like he’s doing a piss poor impression of Stevie Wonder. I’m fascinated and annoyed by it at the same time.
Anyway, everything went fine, pictures were taken and everyone from both sides of the family came back to our house for a brunch banquet. I will admit the food was great. Apple pancakes, mini quiches, honey baked ham, croissants and rolls, fruit and muffins. It was delicious and I over ate as usual. This was before the cake even rolled out. Let’s just skip those ugly details.
As the event rolled down and people started heading home, the Celtics game was tipping off. Game Seven people!! Normally I would be excited to be writing those words, but this wasn’t one of those game sevens. This was one that should never have happened. The entire city of Boston was fearing one of the biggest upsets in NBA history. This wasn’t just a must win, it was a ‘you must crush them’ game.
The Celtics won convincingly, but you could tell the crowd wasn’t that into it. There was a ‘we shouldn’t even be here’ vibe to the entire game. I guess my feelings could best be summed up this way. My buddy called after the game to say ‘How was THAT for a statement?’
I said, ‘That wasn’t a statement. A statement would have been winning in a sweep or five games. This was just want needed to be done.’ What confuses me about this team is they actually seemed afraid when they were playing in Atlanta. Especially in the later parts of the game. They played timid and scared. It was infuriating. I think the Hawks actually got into their heads in this series. The Hawks that won less than half their games this year.
The reality is this series has exposed the Celtics and, more specifically, raised concerns about the abilities of one Doc Rivers. He single handedly botched two of these games, the most glaring being game 4 when he basically let Joe Johnson go wild while making no defensive adjustments. Ugh! I was pacing in my family room during that game.
We’ll see how the rest of the playoffs turn out, but my confidence is shaken. A team can over come and compensate for personnel weaknesses, but can they over come an incompetent coach?
One final note: Seven year old raked in over $350 for his First Communion and I immediately began formulating new religious ‘ceremonies’ that I need to go through in order to get that kind of money. Just know that Festivus is prominently involved.
Today’s distraction: Learn the true meaning of Cinco de Mayo then go forth and spread the gospel according to BeachBum. The chicks at the bars will be very impressed.