Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Insanity Times Ten

Days like this can kiss my ass.

There. I feel better. This morning has been insanity to the tenth power. I didn’t even sign into my computer until 11:30 this morning which is blasphemy in my book. Unholy!

Anyway, things have calmed down so I can now share my weekend with you. Calm down, I know you’re super excited about it. Try not to wet your pants in anticipation.

- Speaking of wetting one’s pants, we once again tried to get three year old off diapers and failed miserably. He will go on the toilet, but once he’s outside running around, he’ll just wet his pants rather than come inside. I think he’s just lazy! No idea where he got that trait.

- On a related note, I wound up doing about 400 loads of laundry this weekend. No clue how we got so many clothes, but I can say with pride that I did not use my dryer for any of them. They were hung out on our clothes line to dry and – thanks to sun and 50 mile an hour winds – they were dry in about 30 minutes. I figure it’s time to start doing my share to save energy even if it means my long term goal of having beach front property suffers.

- Besides helping the environment, it was fun to see wifey’s reaction when she came outside and noticed her panties flapping in the breeze.

- Last Tuesday my seven year old came to me close to tears. He said he didn’t want to play baseball anymore because ‘I stink! I can’t get a hit!’ This is his first year of minors and I told him he’s going through a transition phase. ‘All kids go through this,’ I told him, ‘Here is what I want you to do for the rest of this season. Just swing at good pitches and don’t swing at bad ones. I don’t care if you strike out every time. Besides you’re very good in the field, so you’re still helping out your team by playing.’ (You think Julio Lugo gets encouragement like this?)

So Saturday’s game arrives and his first at bat comes with the bases loaded. Walk.

Next at bat comes with the bases loaded. Single past the first baseman.

Next at bat comes with the bases loaded. Another walk.

He struck out his last at bat, but by that point it would have been gravy. To top it all off, he made three killer stops at third base prompting his coach to give him the game ball. After the game I made fun of his previous whining with a mocking ‘Yeah, I can’t play baseball. I stink!’ which made him laugh. He was in a great mood the rest of the weekend.

- I don’t get this Celtics team. When they need to win, they are focused and intense. This is the playoffs, guys. You should be focused and intense every game. Get your shit together or you’ll be golfing in two weeks instead of trying to alter your legacy.

- This is simply a question, so don’t get all pissy with me. Is the price of gas going up a bad thing?

- If you missed it, Sydney Pollack died yesterday. I bring this up because Pollack directed what I consider to be one of the most under appreciated movies of our generation. Well, ok, my generation. The movie is ‘Absence of Malice’ starring Paul Newman and Sally Field. All his tributes will mention ‘Tootsie’ (as they should), but this thriller/drama was far ahead of it’s time. A cynical, grumpy, cautionary tale about the responsibilities of the media. I just rewatched it recently and it’s still as relevant as ever. Plus it’s intelligent and entertaining when Newman’s character gets pissed off. Highly recommended if you haven’t seen it. Or even if you have.

- Reason the internet is the greatest invention ever #432: Sitting at the bar Saturday night, two guys ask me who the Celtics traded Chauncey Billups for. Neither they nor my buddy could think of it. So I pulled out my BlackBerry and Googled it. Answer: Kenny Anderson. They actually traded Billups to Toronto for Kenny Anderson. This happened during the dark ages in Celtics lore known as The Rick Pitino Era. I just got the shivers remembering it.

- For those who sneak naps during the work day, I have good news! Snooze in peace, my fellow slackers.

- If I’m a Titans fan, there is no way this story is making me feel confident in my young quarterback. This is the guy that’s suppose to be making the tough decisions and helping his teammates maintain their composure in the heat of battle. And he almost quits after one season? Let’s hope this is just the maturation process and not something more telling.

- An East Carolina biologist has decided to name a new species of spider after Neil Young. While I can only assume this idea originated from too much time spent listening to his iPod on ‘Repeat’ and/or too much recreational drug use, this dude said about Young: ‘I really enjoy his music and have had a great appreciation of him as an activist for peace and justice’. What he didn’t admit was having an obsession for model trains. Believe it, man. Word is the new spider rode one around the lab in celebration of his new name.

- OK, busy today. One more thing. I’m beginning my new workout routine in the attempt to get my lazy ass back in shape. Over a year ago I did my own personal March Madness and lost 14 pounds in 31 days. Going to try something similar. Will weigh myself tonight and keep you all up to date on my progress. That is if the gym is open like I expect. More to follow.

Today’s distraction: The top ten newly discovered species. Luckily for us these include one of the most venomous snakes ever found and a jellyfish that is named after the dude it killed. There is also a freaky looking millipede for your viewing pleasure. Can’t wait to find that thing in my bed.


Anonymous said...

That Vince Young better lock it up or I will be on the next flight to Tennessee to kick him square in the nuts. Believe it.

Clayton Bigsby said...

Who knows what his family situation was. He probably had cousins coming out of the dark asking for money. He struck it rich. It would be tough for anyone to adjust. At least he was honest about his feelings and he did take the Titans to the playoffs. People should lay off.

Hammen said...

The Vince story doesn't do a whole lot for my confidence for the upcoming season.

BeachBum said...

Sorry, Bigsby, but every QB goes through this. The difference is not letting your opponents know you doubted yourself. It's like closers in baseball. You can never show weakness when you're a starting QB in the NFL. Mental toughness and poise are your weapons and you part with them at your peril.

A Tribute: deer a train and basketball said...

Internet at the bar is fantastic. It has settled many bets and arguments at bars for me, which isn't always a good thing.