Friday, July 11, 2008

Break Time!

A few quick notes to carry you through next week. I’m on vacation, so try not to miss me too much. Really, try to keep yourselves out of trouble and under control. It gets embarrassing at times. Yeah, French, I’m talking to you.

If you’re wondering, I’m heading down to Cape Cod with the family. We got a good deal (which is nearly impossible on the Cape in July) on a place in South Yarmouth. We’re RIGHT on the beach, so I will truly be living the life of a beach bum. Well, except for the wife and kids that won’t leave me alone for three seconds. Other than that, things are looking good.

Or, were looking good. We happen to be hitting the Cape just as this story surfaces (pun intended). Turns out a shark has been spotted off South Beach on Martha’s Vineyard. According to the linked story the sighting was unconfirmed, but according to the news last night, it was confirmed by an airplane pilot prompting beaches to be closed.

So, how does this effect us? Well, we’re right on Nantucket Sound which is basically the same shared waterway the Vineyard uses for all it’s boating traffic. I’m guessing a shark would have no problem swimming a few miles to our neck of the woods. Considering all a shark does is ‘eat, swim and make little sharks’. If you don’t know what movie that line is from….well….I don’t think we can be friends any longer.

Sadly, this shark doesn’t realize that I will fuck it up if it even attempts to interrupt my beach time. If you read about a Boston man killing a shark with his bare hands and teeth, that will be me. I only have so many days a year of pure, unadulterated, quality beach time.

Oh, and I’ll be bringing my kayak down, too. It has yet to touch water this year, so this is a perfect opportunity to get my strokes in (get your minds out of the gutter).

Since I’m always looking out of your mental well being, I’ve timed my vacation to coincide with the All Star Game, the Home Run Derby and the possible early implosion of Yankee Stadium (I can dream).

Plus, here are some links, thoughts, and projects to keep you occupied for the next week. Don’t say I’ve never done anything for you. I haven’t, just don’t say it.

- I’m reading a book called ‘Scared Hunger’ by Barry Unsworth that incorporates the British slave trade back in the 18th century. While reading about the inhuman conditions the slaves endured, I couldn’t help contemplate how far we’ve come.

And then I come across this story. A black neighborhood in Ohio had been denied public access to water until 2003. That’s right. Five years ago they finally got running water in their neighborhood. Granted, this is a rural Appalachian area, but 2003!!!!??? Consider it this way, it was possible for these people to get satellite television 10 years before they could get running water. What. The. Fuck?

- Remember all those geeks that slept in line for days so they could be the first to own an iPhone? Well, those geeks already own an outdated piece of technology. Losers! Just so you know people haven’t learned anything as there are suckers sleeping in line for this new iPhone, as well.

- This guy in New York found a novel and sure fire way to kill himself. He convinced a sky diving crew to allow him on the plane to observe and take pictures. When the videographer, the sky diver and their student jumped out he followed. Only he didn’t have any sky diving gear on. The story linked mentions that he wound up hitting a house that split his body in two. And I complain about cleaning my gutters.

- In yet another sign we have gone WAAYYY overboard with political correctness, the city of Atlanta has agreed to remove all ‘Men At Work’ and ‘Men Working Ahead’ signs because they are discriminatory. I shit you not. Instead they’ll use ‘Workers Ahead’ or something of that type. I would argue that the new signs are also discriminatory against actual workers, since a majority of time there is little actual work going on. How about ‘State Employees Ahead’? Or ‘Half Assed Work Ahead’? Or, let’s just get down to basics and use ‘Traffic Is Fucked For Next ___ Miles’.

By the way, expect to see these changes in your own home town as women’s magazine editor Cynthia Good – the lovely, over sensitive women in charge of spurring this long over due social change – wants the entire country to follow Atlanta’s lead.

- For those of you wondering why I stay married, wonder no more.

- All you Led Zeppelin fans out there (yes, I went through my own stage in high school) here is some food for thought. After listening to these, it sure seems like Zeppelin ripped off (or as they call it now – ‘borrowed’) quite a few artists.

- In what is welcome news to my own ears, researchers at the University of Arkansas have found a more effective way to treat tinnitus. After spending a majority of my formative years attending as many loud concerts as possible, I started experiencing tinnitus (constant ringing in my ears). My last full blown concert was AC/DC and my ears rang for three solid days. I’ve stayed away from most indoor concerts since, but I still like going to any free outdoor ones I can. I’ve seen Green Day when they were first becoming big play the Esplanade in Boston. This was the same concert a riot broke out at and wifey and I were nearly crushed in a stampede of people. This may be a story for another time. I’ve also seen Guster at city hall, and Dropkick Murphy’s at the State House and Cake down by the Charles River. What I’m trying to say is, I can’t see any cool concerts anymore due to my ear ringing issues. Maybe this can change that.

- I’ve discovered a show on (I think) the Food Network that’s about this custom cake maker in Baltimore. It’s a behind the scenes, reality show about how the business is run and the creative process behind them. ‘Ace of Cakes’ it’s called. Here is the link to the actual business. Check out the awesome cakes these guys make. Truly works of art.

- Some quick music notes for you all. Almost immediately after I wrote about how I couldn’t find any good music the following CDs were released:

Alkaline Trio – Agony and Irony: Being their first major label release and having heard the first song on the radio, I was very afraid that this was a complete sell out. Fear not AT fans. The sound is more polished and has more pop elements to it, but this is still the darkly comic, disturbed, hard rocking band we all know and love. With lyrics comparing relationships to the Summer of Sam and songs like ‘Love, Love, Kiss, Kiss’ (a hilarious ode to non romantics everywhere), as well as their head bobbing beats this is some of AT’s best stuff.

The Futureheads – This Is Not The World: Their last release was a bit of a disappointment for me. The promise of the debut was diluted in an attempt to grab a larger audience. Well, fuck that! With this one they put the pedal to the metal for the get go and barely let up for a breath. Surprisingly the most rocking CD I’ve heard this year. Not a slow or bad song on it.

The Fratellis – Here We Stand: Like the Kooks latest, this one just can’t maintain the fun or originality of their debut. It’s not bad by any means (much better then the Kooks’ ‘Konk’ for sure). They tap even deeper into their Beatle roots and more than half the songs are terrific. It just feels a bit slapped together. Like they were trying to get this out just in time for the new iPhone release. Let’s see if they use any of these songs for the ads. By the way, the music for those new Amstel Light ads (Dam Good Beer) is from the Fratellis debut CD. If you dig that song, you’ll enjoy this one.

- Lastly, I've always under taken a project for my vacations. Last summer it was not brushing my hair all week. Last winter it was growing facial hair. I have no thoughts on what to do this year, so offer some suggestions in the comment section. I don't leave until Monday morning, so I'll check in and tell you what - if any - I've taken up.

Ok, that’s all I’ve got. I was hoping to have more time to provide you semi-quality entertainment, but it’s been busy today. Stupid work!

Today’s distraction: Test out your sweet tooth. I got 15 out of 20 correct and I don’t even eat many candy bars.


Hammen said...

I chose not to click on the Led Zeppelin link--they are my favorite band of all-time, and I refuse to read anything negative about them. Call me naive.

Also, I guess we can't be friends, I don't know what the shark line is from.....Jaws?

son pere said...

BB, looks like French is going to take up the slack while you are taking your (well-deserved) vacation. Since this will be HIS last week in MA, I guess he'll miss you. He and La will be heading west by dawn's early light on Sunday, 7/20 with a loaded-down Saturn Vue.