Monday, July 21, 2008

Work Relaxation

I am struggling through today. Not only am I back from vacation, but I was greeted with a major problem before I even walked in the door. I’m actually rectifying the situation as I write this.

Multitasking is my middle name.

The real problem isn’t work. It isn’t adjusting back from vacation. My real problem is my wrist, which is – for lack of a better word – fucked. Not sure how or what I did (it’s my left hand and I’m right handed, so you can forego the excessive masturbation jokes, thank you very much) but it’s been excruciatingly painful for the last 4 days and seems to be getting worse.

I will admit feeling a twinge when I took my kayak out on Wednesday, but the few days after that were fine. A bit stiff, but it wasn’t painful by any means. I must have aggravated it or made things worse somehow (probably opening my 15th beer of the night Friday).

At this point there is swelling that is just above my wrist and it’s hard as a rock right where my wrist and forearm meet. Anything involving a tight grip or twisting is nearly impossible. I’ve been icing it down and popping Alleve like they’re candy, but I haven’t seen much improvement.

Fear not (or fear a lot) as I will push on. I am no pansy boy, that's for sure.

You know, now that I think about it, I did do some moving on Friday afternoon that may have contributed to this wrist injury.


Whatever. Nothing to do about it now.

My vacation was good, thanks for asking. Although wifey and I have discovered that vacationing with kids – especially two borderline hyperactive boys – is quite a different world.

Pre-kids our vacation schedule looked something like this.

9 AM – wake, realize it’s only 9 and roll over and go back to sleep.

9:45 AM – wake, realize we need to cash in on the free breakfast by 11 and scramble to the dining room for our fill of coffee, bacon, eggs and pastries. Mmmmm, good.

10:30 AM – wonder why the bar doesn’t open until 11 while we sit on the beach.

11 AM – first drinks of the day

11:15 AM – second drinks of the day followed by first swim.

Noon – afternoon sex followed by a leisurely nap.

1:30 PM – drinks!! Maybe some lunch if free breakfast still isn’t sitting like a rock.

1:45 PM – back to the beach for sun, swim, more booze. I love vacations!!!

4 PM – shower, shave, maybe another quickie before heading out on the town or to the local bar for some night life.

7 PM – still partying it up. Most likely we’ve met up with some people we got along with the night before or struck up a conversation with.

9 PM – back to the beach for sunset.

9:15 PM – back to the bar. Late night appetizers are most likely eaten.

Anywhere between 11 PM – 2 AM – To the room for sleep.

End result: Relaxed, recharged and ready to get back to the real world.

Last week our schedule looked like this:

7 AM (Yes, 7 AM!!) – boys are at the balcony doors looking out and asking ‘Dad, when can we go to the beach?’ I tell them we need to eat first and turn on 'SpongeBob Squarepants' so I can get an extra 20 minutes of sleep.

7:10 AM – no use. The boys are now tackling each other and laughing hysterically. I get up and get tripped up when three year old cuts in front of me because he wants to be the first one to use the toilet.

7:15 AM – I finally get to piss.

7:45 AM – we’re all ready and head to the dining area for our breakfast.

7:51 AM – three year old spills his milk all over the table.

7:55 AM – eight year old gets upset because there are no scrambled eggs at the buffet. He pouts in his chair, angrily chomping on bacon until the new tray of eggs is brought out.

8:15 AM – all fed and caffeinated (me and wifey, that is. The boys don’t need it), we head back to the room to get our bathing suits on.

8:25 AM – head to the beach with the boys excitedly running to the water. Three year old runs in up to his chest before remembering he can’t swim and frantically fights his way back to waist deep water.

8:35 AM – hunt for crabs, shells and cool rocks has begun.

10 AM – after fruitlessly trying to catch minnows with their bare hands, the boys decide it’s time to dig a big hole in the sand.

10:25 AM – hole digging has run it’s course in entertainment. ‘Can we go to the pool now?’

10:30 AM – we arrive at the outdoor pool where 8 year old immediately grabs his goggles and jumps in to the deep end. Three year old heads to the kiddie pool where he can swim by himself and play in the sprinklers.

10:50 AM - after swimming by himself eldest now wants me to play catch with him. I throw a football so he can jump into the water while he catches it. He then does the same for me. This is quite fun and exhausting.

11:15 AM – my turn to watch three year old who decides he’s now old enough to jump into the deep end of the big pool. He has a life vest on, so it’s not a huge deal, but I would prefer him to at least wait until I’m in the pool before he leaps in. Call me crazy.

11:45 AM – all of us are starving. Lunch time. Youngest is so tired he’s barely keeping his head up and eldest is acting like he is in a hot dog eating competition so he can get right back in the pool.

12:15 PM – I take youngest back to the room hoping he’ll take a nap, thus letting me take a nap.

12:30 PM – apparently the food has given three year old a second wind because he’s all over the place; jumping up and down on the bed, throwing himself on the floor while pretending a shark is chasing him. Nap is not going to happen for either of us. Son of a…..

1:30 PM – after hounding me for 20 + minutes I finally take eight year old down to the beach so we can throw the Frisbee around. Note that I use the term ‘throw’ loosely in this instance as his tosses usually involve the disk slamming into the ground three feet from his feet and rolling on it’s side as far away from me as is physically possible. He does manage a handful of perfect throws which just gives him confidence and the urge to continue playing more.

2 PM – hey, guess where we’re going? Right. Back to the beach. I can’t wait to get back to work where I can relax for 10 minutes.

3 PM – OK, beach is done. Now it’s time to go back to the pool. The outdoor one. I need to be specific for reasons that will become clear.

3:30 PM – wifey has discovered a waitress comes around and takes drink orders. She ordered me a beer and herself a pina colada. I love her so much sometimes.

4 PM – my beer has turned piss warm since my eight year old won’t give me 10 minutes to enjoy it. The kid is like a fish.

4:30 PM – while they protest, we drag them back to our room so we can shower and get ready for dinner.

5:30 PM – everyone is finally ready to go. The youngest is on the verge of a meltdown because he’s exhausted and hungry. The eldest wisely brought his Nintendo DS and has been absorbed in his Hulk game. Wifey’s fuse is becoming dangerously short and I want to consume enough beer to capsize a freighter.

8 PM – back at the room after dinner and a stop at the local candy store.

8:15 PM – boys now want to swim in the indoor pool. That’s right, they are not one, not two, but three fucking pools in this place. Since the indoor pool is open until 10pm, we head down. I figure let them swim for a half hour so they sleep through the night.

8:45 PM – back from the indoor pool. Boys get changed, jump into bed and immediately start pretend fighting.

9 PM - After settling down, we put on SpongeBob (is this show on all the time?) hoping they’ll fall asleep watching it.

9:15 PM – boys still awake….

9:30 PM – Boys still awake, but Dad sound asleep….

Following day: Repeat.

End result: Exhausted, looking forward to work where I can actually catch my breath, possibly needing three days to recover.

Today’s distraction: As a tribute to one of my favorite people, here is a post from long ago. This may be one of my favorite posts only because she liked it so much at the time. Be safe!


son pere said...

I loved the "post from long ago" distraction. I know exactly who you are referring to, and I couldn't agree more. No "dumb blonde", she. I hope she keeps in touch with you, as I know she will. Her friendship is genuine. I wish her and her SO all the best in whatever endeavor they undertake together. I'll miss them both, terribly.

I also loved you detailed "vacation synopsis". I can remember ours, and they were remarkably similar, except that mine involved 3 young boys. Hold onto those memories, 'cause they grow up soooo fast.

Thanks, BB, for the good memories!

Hammen said...

Haha another post that doubles as amazing birth control. Good to have you back.