Monday, April 13, 2009

Scatter Shots

Random thoughts from the weekend that was.

- Our kitchen remodeling project is fully underway. Cabinets were delivered, contractors arrived this morning to start ripping everything out and our grill is cleaned and ready for full time use. We also set up a temporary kitchenette in our living room so we can still make coffee (a necessity), toast bread and microwave shit ('shit' here being a generic term for any type of food. We don't actually warm up shit in our microwave. That's what the toaster is for). Let’s see how many times we trip the circuits with that setup.

- During the cabinet delivery I mangled the knuckles on my right hand moving some of the boxes around. Nothing major, just some cuts and scrapes. On my left hand, however, are two ugly gashes I received while reaching into the freezer to get ice for my gin and tonic. That’s right, my drinking injury is more severe than my work injury. That seems appropriate.

- I find it odd that Jewish people don’t celebrate Easter. This is the one holiday that centers on someone coming back to life. That person was (supposedly) Jewish. Wouldn’t you think Jewish people would be all over that? A higher power decided to bring one person back from the dead (and not as a flesh eating zombie) and that power picked a Jewish person. If that’s not flattery, I don’t know what is.

- Friday afternoon was close to 70 in the Boston area. It was gorgeous, so decided it was time for the boys to get their spring haircuts and even had my own head shaved down (shortest I’ve had it in decades). Care to guess what happened? Right. Temperature plummets to the 30s all weekend and I’m freezing the entire time.

- The worst was Saturday morning when my eight year old had his Little League opening ceremonies. It was drizzling, 30 degrees, windy and miserable. I couldn’t get warm for the rest of the day. That’s what they call ‘chilled to the bone’ and it’s a literal saying. My bone marrow was shivering.

- We had to move the refrigerator out of the kitchen and placed it by the couches in the family room (which is connected to the kitchen). I tried, but I just couldn’t make it so I could open the fridge and grab a beer without leaving my seat. Probably just as well.

- Glad to hear that captain taken hostage by those Somalian pirates was released unharmed, but I couldn’t help thinking that the pirates needed a better plan than ‘Let’s take the captain, this tiny boat and we’ll wing it from there’. Did they seriously think they would get fifty million for one guy? Did they actually have a plan? I need to know what was discussed in that boat. Did they get in, float around for a day before one of them asked ‘Um….what now?’

- Love how everyone is making a deal about the Yankees and Red Sox losing and Toronto, Baltimore, Texas and Kansas City all starting off well. We’re one week into the season. Let’s not go over board.

- Humility, thy name is child. After my buzz cut on Friday, my eldest is standing above me and checking out the new ‘do. He starts laughing and says ‘there is a bald spot right heeerrrree’ as his finger circles the top of my head. Thanks, kid!

- Was watching the Angels – Sox game on Fox on Saturday when announcers were making a big deal about the MLB being on Twitter. Are you fucking kidding? Is there a more useless way to track a game than Twitter? What is the point of that? Fox and MLB realize that we can have scores texted right to our phones now, right? So if we’re not actually watching the game, we can get immediate updates right away. While I understand the ideas behind most technology and new trends, Twitter I just don’t get at all.

- Filed under the ‘Can’t make this shit up’ section of life comes This site is dedicated to matching Sugar Daddies (and Mommies) with Sugar Hook…uh…Babies. That’s right. You’re rich and want some younger companionship you can sign up. You’re young and need some college tuition or a source to feed your coke habit since all your friends and family have banished you, sign on up! You know what? I really don’t need to add anything other than suspect that nobody that signs up for this site will look like either of the two pictured.

- Welcome to The Manny Show, Los Angeles! Fresh off signing a 2 year, 45 million dollar contract, Manny is already talking about finishing up his career in Cleveland. Manny makes me laugh. Yes, like a clown. He amuses me.

- If death comes in threes, then we need to warn number three. First the Angels pitchers, now Phillies broadcaster Harry Kalas, then…..??????? Should we start a Dead Pool? I’ll go with…oh…shit. I couldn’t even keep up.

That’s it. Today’s been busy as hell. Sorry for the abbreviated entry, but remember what they say: You get what you pay for.

Today’s distraction: I’ll give you two today since I mentally farted all over the Lost entry and forgot to include one.

First, some childhood – adult before and after pictures that alternate between cute and disturbing.

Second, one man’s list of The Most Disturbing Movies of All Time. A few notes:

- ‘Old Boy’ was disturbing, but I wouldn’t have added it to this list. There were reasons for it’s content which were legitimized by final act of the villain. Ironically, it ends up being a study into – and ultimate dismissal of - revenge as a noble or cathartic concept.

- ‘The Hills Have Eyes’ would have been replaced by the original ‘Last House on the Left’.

- I refuse to watch ‘Irreversible’ for the 9 minute scene mentioned in the article.

- I ran across ‘Audition’ on the Independent Film Channel one night and would have ranked this number one. Not only is it brutally violent, but it’s strange and jumps all over the place. I finally stopped watching when the vomit scene came on. Some things I just don’t need to witness.


Anonymous said...

I also find it strange that Jewish people don't celebrate Easter. I wish I knew just one Jewish person so I could have him/her explain these types of things to me.

Chuckwagon said...

OK! Here's the scoop on why the Jews do not celebrate Easter.

When Christ walked the earth, the leaders of the Jewish nation scorned Him as a blasphemer and a non-believer because he performed miracles on the Sabbath. Remember, the Jews had been waiting a long time for the "Messiah" to come, and they expected that he would be born into a family of "position" and power. Christ was born in the "blue-collar" town of Bethlehem, in Nazareth, to a poor carpenter. No way he could ever be "the Messiah". When Christ finally began preaching and teaching the Jewish people about why He had come, the chief priests of the temple rejected him and most of the Jews followed their lead. Recall the quote "The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone." The Jewish people were the "builders" referred to, while Christ was the "stone".

Simply put, the Jewish people do not believe in Jesus Christ, and so, by extension, do not believe that He rose from the dead.

They still observe Passover, commemorating Moses flight from Egypt, and this feast coincides, roughly, with the Christian Easter Feast.

I hope that makes clearer the reason the Jewish people do not celebrate Easter.

Clayton Bigsby said...

The Jewish people have so many other strange holidays it's good to take one off. I have only seen clockwork and hills have eyes out of those ten movies. Clockwork was more strange than disturbing. I'm not a fan of that genre.

BeachBum said...

If I may summarize, Chuck, the Jews waited a long time for a 'Messiah' to arrive and when he finally does arrive they scorn him because he was from the wrong side of the tracks.

Oh, and he performed miracles on the Sabbath.

First, I didn't realize there were time restriction on miracle working. 'Look, I healed a sick person. He is no longer in agonizing pain!'

'You heathen! It's after sundown!'

Second, it certainly seems the Jews shot themselves in the foot regarding this Jesus thing. You think the Jewish leaders back in the day could have a do over?

Anonymous said...

Chuckwagon, that explanation just confirms what I have always suspected: the Jewish religion is an odd one.

Chuckwagon said...

Not only is the Jewish religion an "odd" one, the language (Hebrew)is a bitch to learn! Probably explains why Catholics chose Latin.