Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Crush of the Month

Wow, May is almost over already. I would use today to update you on my holiday weekend, but nothing much happened. The biggest event was my starting to paint the new kitchen. Yeah, that’s real exciting.

Instead, I’ll unveil May’s Crush of the Month. As always, there will be no stalking involved as I have no idea where she is at the moment and I simply don’t have the motivation nor the finances to find out.

Who?: It’s Emily Haines. I know, you've probably never heard of her. That’s why I’m here to introduce you. She’s the lead singer of Metric, who’s latest album is on steady rotation on my iPod. Addictive, dark, pop infused rock that stimulates the mind while getting your foot tapping while riding the train.

Maybe that’s just me.

Here is what she looks like.


Admittedly she isn’t as stunning as past BeachBum Award Winners (see Watney, Heidi) but she has a certain European/possible criminal allure to her. Besides Emily is here for reasons more than looks.

For one, she writes some deliriously devilish lyrics that entertain me no end.

Lyrics like the open letter to Cupid in ‘Sick Muse’:

‘Watch out, Cupid, mama is a sick muse
Pull your little arrows out and let me live my life’

Before reminding us all that not everybody falls in love or ‘plays the lead’ in life. Reality check, please!

Or the open ended question to an unnamed male wondering why ‘all the gold and all the guns and all the girls couldn’t get you off?’

Sunny isn’t a description that many would apply to Emily.

What Else?: While lyrics are all well and good, it’s Emily’s voice that presents male listeners with a contradictory sensory experience. Alternating between sweetly angelic and a ‘Go ahead, I fucking dare you to say something’ vibe that is downright intimidating. The way she sings to Cupid should have him cowering in fear on whatever cloud he happens to be hanging out on.

I’m sure it has something to do with her being born in India, raised in Canada but her entire family being from America which presents her with a self described 'identity crisis'. She spent a majority of time in New York City (where she met James Shaw, co-founder of Metric) when trying to break into the music industry and was quoted as saying ‘The feeling that no one gives a shit about you is such a wonderful thing about New York, and America in general’, which is a rather direct way of saying she isn’t sure she enjoys the newfound fame her band’s budding success is starting to gain her.

That all?: You new here? Of course not.

While some female rockers would downplay their femininity, Emily doesn’t hide that ‘I’m a chick for sure’. I mean, look at this outfit.




Not slutty or crazy, but certainly shows off some kick ass legs.

That said, she also doesn’t want to be in it for her looks. She writes and plays music because it’s what she loves to do. And let’s face it, a woman who is successful at what she loves is sexy as hell!

There is also indications she’ll be releasing some solo material which would be an alternative take on Metric’s current song archive. As she explained, she writes all the songs on a piano as ‘sad’. Then James Shaw takes the song and makes it into a Metric song. Emily may release the original recordings of those piano driven songs, which would be an interesting take on some of their harder material.

One more thing, that puts her solidly in my heart. She has a very low tolerance for bullshit. A few quotes from a Popmatters interview that will illustrate my point.

On her musical inspirations:

‘I guess it's one of those things that you don't want to be conscious of everything. Of course there are influences, of course there are things that are inspiring, but it's weird to think that I'm trying to keep a mental inventory of them and report them clearly to whomever might ask. You feel like you're trying to show off your cool by mentioning the five bands that you know are great and the five books that will reflect well on you. I can't do it. I should take the time to but I don't want to take the time to do that.’

On doing interviews:

‘I know I could give a better interview, but I'd rather just have a conversation with you. I don't feel like being clever with it or something.’

On being a rock star:

‘This is the thing I've noticed is that the greater the distance between you and any ordinary task is the measurement of how much rockstar potential you have. The complete self-absorption, and childish indulgence and disregard, and having to feel as though everything you're doing is so people can live vicariously through you, so you have to pursue more and more unpleasant pastimes in order to satisfy the armchair people. That's a kind of scary existence. I'm into a little glamour and certainly, I think it would be interesting to be an icon. But I think more like Charlie Chaplin than like Jennifer Anniston.’

That’s right. A hot chick who sings cool, tough, lyrically dark songs and thinks more in terms of Charlie Chaplin than Jennifer Anniston.

Sounds like a winner to me!


Today’s distraction: Don’t take my word for it. Listen to one of Metric’s songs for yourself. Here is the video for ‘Gimme Sympathy’. Just hit play at the bottom of the page and enjoy. Too bad she didn’t have a shorter skirt.

4 comments:

Rob said...

Good stuff BB. I love her answer about the bands that have influenced her, and, my goodness, she looks unbelievable in the video when she's wearing the beret at the end. I'll have to check out more of their music.

thepowerof10 said...

I'd let her eat crackers in bed.

A Tribute: deer a train and basketball said...

I'm going to see them at the metro here in Chicago. I too have a small crush on her. They are playing with a dude named Sebastien Grainger, you should check him out. His CD is pretty sweet. He used to be in the band Death From Above 1979 and if you don't know them check them out as well. Excellent choice for crush of the month.

Hammen said...

I dunno, if she was getting crumbs everywhere, I would consider kicking her out of my bed. That pic didn't do it for me.