3: Def Leppard (what?)
4: Pink Floyd
5: Black Sabbath
5 Band’s New Releases I Would Buy Immediately (Circa 2009)
1: Alkaline Trio
2: The Hold Steady
3: Kings of Leon
5 Things I Would Tell My Younger Self If I Could Travel Back In Time
1: While it will be tough, 2004 will make it all worth it.
2: Don’t get too attached to Len Bias.
3: Stay away from Sara. She’s trouble. Fun. Sexy. Creative. Trouble.
4: Buy Microsoft.
5: *cracking open a beer*
5 Things Our Parents Never Taught Us
1: Don’t trust rich, white guys.
2: All women are crazy. Every single one.
3: Buying a house isn’t necessarily a good thing.
4: Dogs are more work than children.
5: Find something you enjoy and find a way to make a living off it. Working simply to pay the bills blows.
5 Things I Will Teach My Boys
1: All women are crazy. If you find one you like enough to over look the insanity, that’s the one you should marry.
2: As Alan Arkin’s characters says in ‘Little Miss Sunshine’: ‘Fuck as many women as possible’. I’ll wait until they’re old enough and will encourage condom use. So I’m not totally irresponsible.
3: Make a career out of something you enjoy.
4: Stand up for yourself all of the time. Don’t have to be mean spirited about it, but never let others play you for a sucker.
5: Treat everyone with respect. Even if you have to fake it.
5 ‘L’s To Finding Happiness
5 Reasons ESPN Is Becoming Irrelevant
1: Brett Favre
2: Tom Brady (Look, he’s practicing. Oh, look, he’s practicing again today!)
3: Kobe, LeBron, Kobe, LeBron, Kobe, LeBron
4: Covering the BCS like it’s a real championship
5: Anything steroid related.
5 Reasons Why I’ll Still Visit ESPN Nearly Every Hour
2: Bill Simmons
3: Streak For The Cash
4: DJ Gallo
5: Uni Watch
5 Vacations I Want To Take
1: Grand Cayman
2: Some sort of kayaking/camping trip
3: Grand Canyon
4: Hawaii (stopping a few days in Cali thrown in)
5 Current News Stories I Could Care Less About
1: The Rockefeller Trial
2: The Sotomayer Pick
3: This bullshit
4: Anything about Jon and Kate Plus Eight
5: The U.S. Torture investigation
5 Of My Favorite Pixar Movies
2: The Incredibles
3: Monsters, Inc
4: Toy Story 2
5 Things That Make Me Laugh On A Consistent Basis
2: The Office
3: Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends
5: The Onion
5 Things I Want To Do This Weekend
3: Watch movies
5 Things I Will Wind Up Doing Instead
1: Painting the kitchen
2: Mowing the lawn
3: Watching an excruciating Little League game
5: Watch a movie. If I’m lucky.
5 Half Assed, Not At All Thought Out Steps To Success
1: Accept that you will have to deal with assholes in life
2: How tactfully you deal with those assholes will dictate your success
3: If you find yourself surrounded by assholes, you are one. Quit and find a new line of work.
4: Repeat steps 1 and 2 as needed while realizing there are too many assholes in life
5: Once you achieve a certain level of success you can fire all the assholes.
Today’s distraction: 5 games to play on a long road trip. Surprisingly, none of them are drinking games.