Thursday, May 21, 2009

Male Enhancement

I am in a fantastic mood today and, since my goal is to spread my goodwill (and pissiness when the occasion calls for it) around, here is why I’m happy today.

In no order.

- The weather is fucking perfect! Just perfect. 80 degrees on the nose with a gentle ocean breeze reminding everyone in Boston why we live on the water. There is nothing like walking out your front door and smelling that crisp, slightly salty air to lift my spirits.

- American Idol Finale. Let’s break this one down.

1: Adam (Fisher Cat) Lambert did not win, which is a significant victory for people with hearing and dogs everywhere. After his abysmal turn fronting Kiss, it’s more than apparent Fisher Cat is not destined to be a rocker. He’s more Broadway Theatrical then Heavy Metal. Think Hedwig and the Angry Inch and not Judas Priest.

2: Kris’s victory was a collective middle finger to the judges who kept pushing Fisher Cat’s over the top theatrics and screeches on everyone. Objectivity went out the window when it came to him and I couldn’t figure out why. Glad I was not alone in my loathing for him.

3: Kara’s performance versus the new and improved (nice implants) bikini girl. Not only did she show off her singing chops, but whipped open her dress to reveal a nicely toned body. By the way, Kara, you are wrong. Bikini girl doesn’t have a better body because she is surgically enhanced. Of course, if I find out you’re on steroids, I take it all back. As annoying as she was all season, last night’s show made me like Kara more.

4: Kris’ victory also secured my buddy’s win in the office pool. A cool $200 going her way. Hopefully, this means a free lunch for me.

5: Fisher Cat’s laughable outfit during his Kiss performance. Were those bird cages on his shoulders? Hilarious in his usually unintentional way. If there were fake birds in them it would have at least made it possible he was joking around. Instead we’re all laughing at him.

- As I’m taking off tomorrow, today is my Friday!! Fuck YEAH!!!

- My refrigerator is currently fully stocked with three kinds of beer: Stella, Michelob Ultra and Corona. Life is good.

- Lastly, in about 6 hours I will be packing things up and heading to my seats at Fenway for tonight’s Red Sox game. Wifey and oldest son will be meeting me there for our first game of the season. One good thing about the recession is tickets are much easier to get this year. I simply went online, picked a game and paid face value. Score!

Even better, we’ll get to watch Jon Lester pitch again. Eldest and I witnessed his major league debut and he’s been fixated on him ever since.

I should point out that many thanks are in order for Jason Bay. Manny was my son’s favorite player and was PISSED when the Sox traded him. Thanks to Bay’s scorching hot start, my boy has a new favorite player. In fact, he just picked up his jersey (t-shirt variety) the other day and will be wearing it to the game.

Thanks, Mr. Bay, and keep up the great work.

One last thing. I had my son convinced we would get to see Papi’s first home run of the season. Only he had to go ruin it by hitting one last night. Thanks a lot.

That’s it folks. Have a fantastic long weekend and we’ll catch up next week.


Today’s distraction: Some great movie poster recreations with Legos. My favorite, you ask? Scarface.

4 comments:

Clayton Bigsby said...

Today is also my Friday. I will be spending Friday at the Twins/Brewers game. Really excited to see Ryan Braun for some reason. Sat will be 36 holes of golf, and Sunday I will be cleansing myself in the waters of lake Minnetonka. Have a good holiday.

thepowerof10 said...

I wish today was my Friday. Christ, today is my Wednesday.

Clayton Bigsby said...

I will also see your Sox in Minny on Monday.

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