Monday, May 11, 2009

Mother's Day Massacre

Some random notes while I recover from the kiss ass weekend celebration known as Mother’s Day.

- Due to a death in the family, my psychotic sister in law decided to fly in for the funeral and wake ceremonies. She is an emotional tornado in human form. Comes in, riles everyone up, then leaves with everyone a fucking mess. Considering she’s in her mid-40s and has two kids you would think she’d grow out of this bullshit. Nope. She’s still as self obsessed and hostile as ever, but comes off as if she is sweet and innocent and projects a ‘What? I didn’t do anything!’ persona that not one person believes.

She flew out Sunday afternoon to the relief of all.

Bad news: She’s coming back this summer for a week and will be joined by her entire family. Woo fucking hoo.

- In a rather odd verification of my atheism, my wife’s 83 year old aunt was diagnosed with cancer a month or two back. She decided she wanted to fight it with chemo and radiation. The doctors checked her out and learned the cancer was too far advanced for those treatments to be effective. She was adamant, but the doctors refused.

I understand why as an 83 year old heart and body would probably not survive the punishment. What I didn’t understand was why she was so reluctant to face death. See, she was a nun and had been her entire adult life. You would think someone that has devoted her life to the teachings of Christ and preaching to others what a wonderful world awaits them upon death would graciously accept the step into the next (hypothetical) world. Perhaps it was just a human moment to fear death. Perhaps she didn’t believe quite as thoroughly as she thought.

- On the way to the funeral, wifey and I had a discussion about the state of nuns and priests in the Catholic church. Every single nun who worked with wifey’s aunt was 65 or older. Every one. There are no new sisters joining the church and there haven’t been for years. Women have careers and compete with men for the same jobs now. Premarital sex just isn’t taboo any longer; it’s nearly a prerequisite. Something I endorse whole heartedly. I wonder how many nuns would have agreed to a chaste lifestyle if they had experience a pleasurable sexual relationship pre-marriage (to the church or otherwise)?

Of course, many may have as it now appears premarital sex was more prevalent than thought back in the days, but it’s nowhere near as acceptable as it is now. I would think a solid 80-90 percent of nuns have never had sex. That makes me sad for them.

Anyway, the same goes for the priesthood where the numbers are rapidly dwindling. I heard the church near us has one priest who does every single mass. He’s in his 50s and there doesn’t appear to be any relief coming.

Which brought me to declare to wifey that we may be seeing the end of the Catholic church as we know it. If they don’t do something to loosen the binds of becoming a priest or nun they’ll never recruit any new people. No priests – no masses – no money coming in. Let’s be honest, money is what Catholicism is all about. Once they see revenues drop to historic lows, they will have three choices:

1: Start letting priests marry and have children and/or relationships.

2: Same as above while letting women have a larger role in the church. That would include becoming a priest. Let’s face it, a woman who’s given birth to three children would have a better understanding of spirituality than any dick that put her in that condition.

3: Close up shop. I get the feeling the lack of accountability regarding the sexual abuse scandals and it’s failure to keep up with modern technology and morals is going to be the end for the church, but it will be a long, painfully slow process. My guess is that by the time my oldest is ready for confirmation (if he even wants to do that) the church will be teetering on the edge.

Two generations from now it may be a relic. Can’t happen soon enough for me.

- This 2009 Celtic team is quickly becoming one of my favorite teams of all time. Having lost Garnett and Powe to season ending injuries, they still fought their way through a grueling and exhausting seven game war with the Bulls. In a shocking turn of events, Rajon Rondo has decided to take over the starring role in this playoff run, collecting triple doubles like candy on Halloween.

Then last night happens. Paul Pierce (THE Paul Pierce) makes one of the smartest basketball decisions of his career (no joke) and allows Glen Davis to take the game deciding shot because his man dropped off to double Pierce. This wasn’t just a player making the perfect decision at the perfect time, this was Paul Fucking Pierce – the same man I watched launch off balance, fall away shots from three point land for a majority of his career – voluntarily giving up the big shot to a teammate.

Yes, Davis hit the shot to win the game, but I can’t stress enough how different Pierce has played since KG and Ray Allen have come to town. He’s playing team basketball. He isn’t trying to do it all himself. Sure, there are times the Celtics need him to take control, but he never forces the issue and plays in control nearly all the time now.

The Celtics probably won’t win the title this year, but that won’t keep them from becoming one of my favorites. They have shown me more during these playoffs than they did all of last season. Whether you thought they deserved last year’s title or not, you have to admit they’re defending it nobly and ferociously.

With two of their best players out and Brian Scalabrine playing major minutes, I’m just enjoying the ride and appreciating the effort.

- Wifey has been giving me some shit about increasing my coffee input from one cup to two. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. It helps get me through that 3 pm lag where I just want to put my head down and sleep for a half hour. Well, now I have ammo that I should be drinking coffee. Take that, wife!! This doesn’t even mention studies that have concluded drinking coffee after a workout helps your muscles recover quicker. Too bad Manny and A-Rod didn’t know that!

Here’s the part that really got me excited: ‘Coffee also seems to protect the liver against cirrhosis, especially that caused by alcoholism’. You can see why that would be relevant to my lifestyle.

A few things to note, however. The article stresses that you should always drink filtered coffee and not the kind made by French presses. Seems the filters take out a substance called cafestol which promotes bad cholesterol and will be the name of any coffee shop I open up during my retirement.

Now if you’ll all excuse me, it’s time for an iced coffee which will counter act the 55 beers I had this past weekend.


Today’s distraction: Kangaroos are punks of the animal world. Funny, hilarious punks.


thepowerof10 said...

I've never understood how the Catholic church was pulling people in to be priests to begin with. Who would voluntarily submit themselves to (a) never having sex, (b) never having kids, and (c) never getting married? What makes it worse is that this poor bastard has to perform wedding after wedding, and baptism after baptism. Now THAT is life kicking you in the nuts while you're down.

thepowerof10 said...

Also, you can't tell me half of Boston didn't simultaneously shit their pants when Glen fucking Davis took that shot with the clock winding down. Not saying Pierce shouldn't have passed it, but it's just that it had to be Davis. I know I would have soiled myself were I a Boston fan.

BeachBum said...

I would have, but Davis has been shooting the ball well of late. Esp last night. Davis has proven himself worthy during these playoffs.

When I agreed to be married through the church for the sake of peace and sanity amongst the families, the priest (of all people) was giving a bunch of couples advice on what makes a good marriage.

How the fuck would he know?

Clayton Bigsby said...

It's not just the no relations with females part of Priesthood that scares people away. It's almost like a fraternity. People studying to become Priests go to school 8 hours a day until they go study under another Priest. There you work everyday under some old fart that makes you do all of the leg work. Prayer meetings, youth groups, marriage counseling, planned parenthood..... I don't care how devoted you are to God, you need some down time