Thursday, June 25, 2009

Crush of the Month

Did you think I forgot? C’mon now, you know me better than that! Which is probably why you thought I forgot, now that I think about it.

Yes, it’s time for the BeachBum Crush of the Month. We’re halfway through 2009 (how scary is that?) and I’ve somehow managed to keep my job, get a Crush of the Month in every month (so far) AND (most importantly) remain restraining order free. Who says your dreams can’t come true in this recession?

So let’s get to it. As always this is a completely non stalker, creep free form of crush. There will be no discomfort for this month’s crush. Mainly because nobody reads this and she’ll never learn of the highest of high honors she is about to receive.

Her loss.

Who?: It’s Olivia Wilde, that’s who. You probably know her most recently from ‘House’ on which she portrays the troubled, doomed, and brilliant 13. You younger folks probably remember her from ‘The OC’ as the chick that shared a lesbian kiss with whoever that actress was that we haven’t heard from since that show went off the air.

She’s also starring in ‘Year One’ with Jack Black and if he gets to make out with her in that movie I’m going to be pissed. Some things just shouldn’t happen.

If you’re still not sure who I mean, just have a gander at this:

Yup! That she's wearing jeans to a Vogue party is major bonus points.

What Else?: Her exotic good looks may over shadow her acting chops. Her ‘House’ character has been diagnosed with a fatal disease which has prompted some rather self destructive behavior. This would include drug use and picking up strange women at bars and having anonymous one night stands. Yeah, 13 is bisexual. And while two hot females making out is usually hot (ok, it’s always hot), this episode created a distinctly disturbing atmosphere; ending with Wilde staring into the camera glass eyed and emotionally hollow before an anonymous female crawled into bed with her.

You see, House couldn't think of a catchy nickname for her, so....ah, nevermind...

I know what you’re thinking, but Wilde did an incredibly good job portraying 13’s defiant self destructiveness while subtly crying out for help.

Plus, she looks great as a blonde:

Or redhead. Or hell, just pick a color.

That All?: Hell no. What vaulted Olivia to this month’s cherished mountain top is discovering she’s a car freak.

I shit you not. She’s into classic cars.

"All I ever wanted was a classic car, the Thunderbird is really like my little beauty. You can cut somebody off at like 50 mph, and they've be like 'Yes! Nice car!'"

I'm in love....

I should also point out that she is a practicing vegan and very outspoken about animal rights which means she’ll probably never get fat and I could never take her to an expensive steak house for our first date. It also shows she’s got a brain, an opinion and can put more than three words together without the word ‘like’ thrown in 15 times.

Oh, and her actual last name is Cockburn. Just saying.

She's also married, but I won't hold that against her if she doesn't hold my marital status against me.

Congratulations to Olivia Wilde. My Crush of the Month for June 2009.

Today's distraction: Your laugh for the day and proof that the British are masters at using intelligence and low brow humor in perfect balance. Video with sound so beware if at work.


Hammen said...

Oh my dear lord did I love Olivia Wilde back in '04/05 when she was on The O.C. There is one moment from one episode where she looks up at Seth and her eyes flash....holy shit I'm just gonna stop myself now before things get messy here.

A Tribute: deer a train and basketball said...

Excellent pick. I have also been obsessed with her since 04/05. I believe she is married to a Prince, so I think all of us are shit out of luck.

thepowerof10 said...

My word, I wish I had watched the OC for this chick alone.