Monday, June 22, 2009

Weekend Update

Some quick weekend updates to kill time and organize scattered thoughts.

- First and foremost, I did not remember any dreams this weekend. Not one. It’s not terribly surprising nor does this experiment end immediately. I will keep trying until at least Friday. I’m nothing if not persistent. Even if it’s a half assed, could care less, wonder if anything good is on TV kind of persistent.

- Father’s Day doubled as my son’s 9th birthday party for the families and I spent a majority of it standing in a cool, constant drizzle and fighting off smoke inhalation while grilling about 20 pounds of food. My bro came out to drink a beer with me, looked at all the food, asked ‘Are you having another party after we leave?’ before shuffling inside to dry off. By the time I was done, my eyes were cooked, my hat and clothes were soaked and I was miserable.

- On a completely related note, this has been - far and away - the worst June of my lifetime. For every day of sun we get, five days of rain immediately follow. Sadly, I’m not exaggerating. One report stated a normal June sees 70% sunshine. This June? Only 32%. And that’s before this current week long rain storm came along. Believe it or not, the fucking thing is turning into a Nor’Easter which this area usually only gets in January or February. I’m guessing this means we’re down to about 25% of sun shining on us this month. If you’re wondering, yes, it’s starting to take a toll on my emotional well being. Depression is right around the corner. I can hear it calling.

- I just had a chicken quesadilla for lunch and it’s sitting in my stomach like a rock. This is not improving my mood at all.

- During yesterday’s party, my brother in law was making fun of my son for listing Nick Green as his favorite baseball player on the back of his little league card. An hour later Green hit a bullshit, cheap as hell home run to win the game for the Red Sox. Truly a karmic turn of events for my brother in law who has a tendency to make fun of people for something only to have it blow up in his face. This was just the latest example.

- For the record, Jason Bay is his current favorite player and neither one of us have figured out why he put Nick Green down on the paperwork. As son number one says, ‘I don’t even remember being asked’.

- In between Saturday rain showers, my brothers and nephew squeezed in a half day of paintball kick assedness. I managed to kill more than be killed which – at my age – is an improvement. I even managed to stay relatively injury free save for a huge scrape on my forearm which resulted in my running down a hill for cover only to realize the hill was much steeper than I thought. Rather than stumbling into the open (and a hail of paintballs) I used the closest tree to stop my descent. Wasn’t pretty, but I looked cool coming out of the carnage without getting shot and blood dripping down my hand. At least, I think I looked cool. In reality I probably looked like a middle aged man thinking he looked cool.

- Interestingly, there is a brand new nudie bar right around the corner from the paintball range. While I can’t confirm, I’ll bet they’re related. Call it a hunch.

- And, no, we didn’t visit.

- Discounting my old man aches and pains, I must proudly admit I’m in better shape than I was last year. Considering all the running and crawling and crouching and shooting and dodging I did on Saturday, I was not sore at all. Well, except for the multiple welts covering my torso. Last year I couldn’t walk for two days and I didn’t strain myself half as much as I did this year. Hold on while I try to pat myself on the back.

- My over weight brother in law didn’t fare as well. He’s always been heavy and this year he paid the price; throwing his back out after round 3. He gamely joined in round 4, but he could barely move and wasn’t much use to us. I was going to mention losing some weight (he’s easily 40 pounds too heavy), but I figured that’s what my harpy sister is for.

- As for wifey, well she pulled a male gift giving on me for Father's Day. She bought 'me' a fire pit for the back yard. It's basically one of those caged in mini fire places, but it's not anything I've expressed interest in. In fact, it's something she's wanted for a while. So, she basically bought something she wanted and turned it into my gift. Well, done, grasshopper. I've taught you well.

- I should point out that I bought Red Sox tickets for our anniversary gift. Couples married for as long as we have been should just buy our own shit and stop all the pretending.

That’s it for today. If I haven’t drunk myself to death, there will be more this week.


Today’s distraction: The main reason I can’t stomach this Jon and Kate bullshit. They’re so concerned about their privacy and living life in the public eye, yet here they go pimping their ‘private’ decision as a way to boost ratings for their show. They’re caught in the lion’s den but really don’t want to leave. Sadly, it’s the kids who will be mauled to death.

3 comments:

Clayton Bigsby said...

You're going to get a lot of use out of that fire pit. Everyone I know that has one uses it every week, sometimes 2-3 times a week. Your kids will like making smores and hot dogs in it.

thepowerof10 said...

Valium. Tell your overweight brother to go to the doctor, get some pain meds for his back, and have him spot you one. I wish I was kidding, those things are like 1/10 the size of a dime but man do they pack a wallop.

BeachBum said...

Sure, Bigs. All about the kids again! Damn kids are cramping my style. Well, they would if I had any style. I can dream.

10, I wonder if he actually hurt his back or he was just exhausted from actually exercising for once in his life. I saw him the next day and he seemed fine. Think he just may be a fat load with no stamina.