Tuesday, September 8, 2009

WTF, Man!!??

Let’s play a game.

We’ll call it ‘Worst Fantasy Pick Ever’.

Here are the rules: I give you a scenario that took place during my online fantasy draft last night and you mentally select the worst possible player for that spot. Then I tell you who this person actually picked and you tell me if the actual selection was worse than what you expected.

I should tell you this is why I hate online drafts. Four people involved didn’t even sign on, so the computer picked for them. The dude with the third pick in our draft must have screwed up his player ratings which resulted in our game today.

The scenario: 12 man league, 14 rounds, you play 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 K, 1 D/ST. No flex position and no points per catch (which I hate, but whatever).

I had pick 11. Yeah, tell me about it.

First pick was DeAngelo Williams which, itself, was sort of an upset. Personally I don’t think he comes anywhere near last season’s freakish stats and it opened the door for player 2 to select Peterson.

Player 3 is up and the clock starts ticking. And ticking. And ticking. You have 2 minutes to select. When I check the ‘Who’s Online’ option, player 3 is blacked out (meaning he’s not on the live draft).

Here is where our game begins. Pick 3 of the entire draft. What is the worst possible pick at this time? Keep in mind everyone is available except Peterson and Williams.

Got it?

I’ll give you a minute.

Ready?

Wait for it….


…Chad Pennington.

I

Shit

You

Not.

Even online this caused an uproar. We can IM everyone that is online and the messages were flying fast and furious. Chad Fucking Pennington. Our number three pick of 2009. Holy fuck!

The dude obviously messed up his customized ranking system (up was down, top was bottom) and is now a perfect example of why you never trust a computer to make picks for you.

On the other hand, this led to Drew Brees falling all the way to 11 for me. Since this league leans heavily on the wide receiver position, I focused on those for the early rounds.

Here is my team for league #2:

QB - Drew Brees

WR - Larry Fitzgerald
Marques Colston
Bernard Berrian
Josh Morgan
Kevin Walter

RB - Tim Hightower
Kevin Smith
Thomas Jones
Pierre Thomas
Jonathan Stewart

TE - Heath Miller

K - Joe Who Givesafuck

D - Chicago

As you can plainly see, I totally forgot to get a backup QB. Too bad Pennington is off the board.

Sadly, my brother busted his fantasy cherry last night and had computer issues that prevented him from making his own picks. He signed off and back on, rebooted the computer but could never get to the ‘Draft Player’ option. The computer just kept selecting the best available player for him, which, ironically is probably better than he could have done himself.

Again, gents, make your drafts in person whenever possible. This online thing goes quick, but isn’t nearly as much fun.

For the record, here is what I accomplished this past weekend:

Beers: Check, check and triple check. After this past weekend rehab is looking like a legitimate option.

BBQ: Not once, but twice. This directly relates to the amount of beer consumption.

Kayaking: Nope. I had the option but choose to go with the below instead.

Sleep: Much needed, especially after the drinking.

Cigars: Check.

Beach: Way too chilly for the beach. Took a trip to Rockport instead which was brought to an abrupt end when youngest vomited up blue raspberry slush all over the sidewalk. Good times.

Carnal Knowledge: Fuckin’ check!

Watch Red Sox: Actually, no, which turned out to be a good thing as they rotted out in Chicago.

Clean Gutters: ahahahahahahahahaha, fuck no.

Plan End Of Year Fantasy Party: Sort of. Buddy and I discussed it, but no concrete plans.

Gym: Only once which wasn’t nearly enough to counteract the massive amounts of barley, hops and fire cooked food consumed.

Think that’s all I had on my list.

Coming tomorrow: my new business plan. It won’t ever get off the ground, but it’s a great idea.


Today’s distraction: Create your own melody of sounds. Everything from barfing to screaming to pissing to stomping. You choose.

2 comments:

Hammen said...

Yeah, nothing good can happen from setting up queues to do your drafting for you. How pissed is the guy who ended up with Pennington at #3 overall? Hopefully there's no money on the line....

thepowerof10 said...

Over/under on the number of weeks before that guy accepts ANY trade for Pennington: 2