Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Week 11 Postmortem and More!

Since I’m off the rest of the week, this will be my lone entry. I’ll just skim over the NFL as I really don’t know what to say any longer. When Detroit, Oakland and Kansas City all win on the same day it’s time to wave the white flag.

First things first: I would like to wish a loyal reader a very happy birthday. You know who you are. There’s a very good chance she could be my first millionaire reader by this time next year. How cool would that be?

Happy Birthday! You suck! Note: This translates to ‘Love you, miss you, wish you nothing but the best’ in BeachBum speak. She knew this.

As for my fantasy team, we are in the midst of a death spiral. Losers of three in a row and currently below .500 for the first time all year. What’s truly frustrating is, with the exception of two weeks, my team has been doing well. I’m just running up against players who have monster games when they play me. Michael Turner vs New Orleans, Calvin Johnson last week, Chris Johnson’s 300 yard game, Ray Rice running amok against the Browns, Ochocinco vs Chicago, Steve Smith (NY version) vs the Chiefs.

In the week they have faced my team, each of those players have had their best game of the season (so far). Why? Why not wait a week? Fuckers!

Let’s get to some thoughts on the games and on life in general. I am nothing if not multidimensional.

- My brother in law, his wife and three girls came up to visit this past weekend. On Sunday the two mothers took all the kids to play at some park and I had the pleasure of introducing him to NFL RedZone. I have converted another.

- Maybe it’s just because the defenses were so bad, but Cleveland – Detroit improbably became one of the most entertaining games of the season. Offense galore as displayed by Cleveland (yeah, The Browns!) scoring more touchdowns in the first quarter than they had in the previous five games. And, no, I did not just make that stat up. It’s true!

- Meanwhile, Matthew Stafford showed everyone something. Not only did he throw for 422 yards and 5 touchdowns, but he was seriously hurt and still came onto the field to toss the winning pass. If nothing else, we now know he’s a tough son of a bitch.

- Antithesis of the Cleveland – Detroit game: Cowboys 7 – Redskins 6 and it wasn’t even as exciting as that sounded. Just dreadful on both sides. Judging by how these teams play outside their division, the NFC East may be one of the worst in the NFL.

- Game that told us nothing about either team: Miami 24 – Carolina 17.

- The Patriots game turned out as we expected but I couldn’t tell if the Patriots defense was playing with something to prove or if Sanchez simply blows. Probably both.

- Reason why you should never trust anything I say (or write): If someone gave me a million dollars and I had to bet it all on one game this past Sunday, I would have put it on the Ravens to beat the Colts.

- Wifey decided we should host Thanksgiving at our house to make things easier on us. Her thinking was not many people would actually accept the invitation. We currently have 31 people confirmed. Insert frown face here.

- Vince Young continues to impress the shit out of me. What’s shocking (at least to me) isn’t that he’s playing well (although that is surprising in its own way), but that he is poised and in control. As improbable as it sounds, this Titans team is gaining strength and stability from Vince Young. That same Vince Young that stated he wasn’t sure he wanted to play football and was borderline suicidal a year ago.

- Let’s see how good a coach Josh McDaniels really is now. If he can rally this Broncos team, I’ll buy into the hype.

- List of teams I still can’t figure out even after 10 games: Eagles, Dolphins, Texans, Giants, Cowboys and Falcons. Will the real version of these teams please stand up?

- When ‘experts’ discuss the best defenses in the league you always hear the names of Patriots, Ravens, Steelers, maybe the Giants and Vikings. Well, guess which team has given up the fewest points in the league? It’s none of those teams I just mentioned. It’s the Colts.

- I finally bit the bullet and bought a car. I looked at Outbacks, Imprezas, Sentras, Altimas, and finally settled on a Camry. I know, boring. But it’s a 2009, fully loaded and I’m only paying 15,000 for it. How could I refuse? It’s used (30,000 miles on it), but the dealership is extending the factory warranty, giving me free road side assistance for 100,000 miles and guaranteeing the engine and transmission for that same 100,000.

Plus it’s a lovely shade of blue (which really brings out my eyes) and my youngest declared that it ‘smells good’. I’m picking it up tonight.

- In a related note, last night was the official end of the truck era. I signed the title over to my father and left it plateless in his driveway. I think my parents may have bitten off more than they could chew. While running down the features of the truck (4 wheel drive options, storage space) my father was horrified to learn it actually had an alarm system built into it. We spent more time going over how to unlock and disarm the truck than anything else. Old people are funny.

- Of all the injuries this year, the one that may be most damaging is Ben Roethlisberger’s possible concussion. Let’s not forget he’s not that far removed from crashing his motorcycle while not wearing a helmet. Just saying - keep an eye on this.

- Does Chris Chambers need to switch teams midseason in order to play well? Last year he was traded from the Dolphins to the Chargers and spent the rest of the year scoring touchdowns. This year he does nothing with the Chargers, who release him. He signs with the Chiefs (of all teams) and he’s been lighting it up.

- I’d like to personally thank John Carlson for putting up a big, fat, fucking zero for my fantasy team. Usually that means someone didn’t play. In this case it means he played but did nothing. No catches, no yards, no rushes, no nothing. I’m betting he didn’t block anyone, either. I think Kevin Boss is available in my league. I’m picking him up.

- I’ve been paying very close attention to all the rumors and speculation surrounding the MLB free agent market. If you missed it, Jason Bay declined the Red Sox offer of 60 million which just opens the door wider for Matt Holliday joining the team. I don’t ask for a lot. Just give me a few seasons of Holliday playing in Fenway. Even one. I’ll take one season.

- I have two rules in music:

1: Any band is automatically awesome with Dave Grohl playing drums.


2: Always listen to an album a minimum of five times before making up your mind.

That said, I picked up ‘Them Crooked Vultures’ and – while I haven’t listened to it more than twice so far – it is not at all what I expected while still being a great listen. It could be fucking awesome, but I will not make the declaration until I listen to it more.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish creating a ‘Drive Fast’ playlist so I can crank my tunes while driving my new car around the city. Speeding ticket, here I come.

Holy Shit Stat of the Week: Arizona is 5-0 on the road. They’re 2-3 at home.

Today’s distraction: The best idea for a movie hybrid ever. If we can get Predator and Alien together, we can do this. YES WE CAN!!


A Tribute: deer a train and basketball said...

Them Crooked Vultures is awesome, but I'm kind of biased because the 3 members are from 3 out of my top 10 favorite bands. Either way listen to it some more, specifically Elephants and Scumbag Blues. Plus Reptiles sounds exactly like Led Zeppelin, so you know it's good.

thepowerof10 said...

Congrats on the car purchase. I hope it works out well for you. Is it me, or did the whole "looking for a car" process take you a week from start to finish?

BeachBum said...

I did a lot of my research on the internet then set appointments to look at the cars then made my decisions from there. This world wide web thing might catch on.