Was last night’s episode a guide on different styles of parenting? While Real World Jack proves he does have what it takes to be a competent father, Island World Claire proves ax murder solves nothing and she has gone completely off her rocker in her pursuit of Aaron. Mothers gone wild!
Who knew being stranded in a jungle for three years with Smokey (aka Fake Locke) as your only friend would make you go mad?
Should I have saved that for the question section?
One more note before we get started. I paid close attention to the sound effect transfer from Real World to Island World and there is the definite sound of a jet engine during the transfers. Does this mean the Real World is teetering on the edge or is everyone on Oceanic simply getting a glimpse of what their lives would be like if they plane hadn’t crashed only to be yanked back to experience the crash all over again?
That would be cruel.
You know what’s up. Don’t read further if you haven’t watched.
Real World: Jack arrives home in his stylin’ Jeep (was I the only one glad to see that jalopy again?), changes quick, notices a scar on his stomach he somehow never noticed before, calls his mother to let her know his father’s coffin could be vacationing in Berlin, realizes he’s late and runs out to drive in his still stylin’ Jeep. He drives to a school and apologizes to his son for being late.
Whoa, what?? Jack has a son!!!??? This new Real World has me reeling!
Well, not only does Jack have a teenage son, this son seems to have already inherited Jack’s father issues. Guess the Shepherd men have streamlined the process nicely over the generations. Jack promised his mother he would help her find Christian’s will (‘why would he make it easy on us now?’), tells his son he’ll be back later for dinner and heads over to plow through stacks of paperwork.
While there Jack and his mother have a heart to heart about Jack being terrified of his father. He explains that is why he didn’t talk much to his father. Jack’s mother asks him if he’s sure his own son isn’t just as terrified of him, which gives Jack something to stew on in his own dewey eyed, Jack manner.
When he gets back home (with pizza no less) he discovers his son is gone. He calls and frets and worries and apologizes on his voice mail and finally heads over to his son’s usual house. There he finds all sorts of music equipment and listens to his answering machine. He learns that his son has an audition at some fancy dancy conservatory and rushes over to see what’s going on.
When he arrives, his son is totally kicking ass on stage; playing piano like a virtuoso. He meets Real World Dogan (I learned his name so I won’t refer to him as HKF any longer) who tells Jack that his son is gifted and that it’s difficult to ‘watch and be unable to help’.
After the audition Jack and his son (who’s name I can’t remember, but let’s be honest, he doesn’t really need a name) have a bonding moment. Jack explains to his son that he was under tremendous pressure from his father who always told him he ‘didn’t have what it takes’. Jack explains that in his eyes, his son could never fail and he would love him no matter what. Weepy weepy. Sob sob. Blah blah. Jack wraps up the chick part of ‘Lost’ with ‘I just want to be a part of your life’ which the son accepts.
Island World: At The Temple Jack and Dogan share the first honest conversation to ever occur on the island: Jack tells Dogan Kate, Jin and Sawyer are probably not coming back to the Temple at all. Dogan tells Jack that if he tries to leave he would have to try to stop him.
After Hurley and PAD finish their 150th game of tic-tac-toe in a draw, Hurley heads off to find some food (‘I could eat’). Only he encounters dead Jacob instead who seems to be more active dead than he ever was alive. Jacob tells him there is someone coming to the island and needs Hurley to bring Jack to the Lighthouse to help this person find it. While Hurley is looking for the secret entrance (or exit), Dogan discovers him and tells him to get back to the courtyard. Jacob appears only to Hurley and informs him to tell Dogan to bugger off.
Dogan buggers off. Only Jacob is not happy with Hurley. ‘You were supposed to bring Jack,’ he says. Hurley explains that convincing Jack to do something he doesn’t want to do isn’t easy, like telling the Olsen Twins to fill up on prime rib. Still Jacob has an idea and sends Hurley to get Jack.
Jack has a brief conversation with Sayid who still seems confused why everyone is looking at him funny despite the fact he just came back from the dead. Jack confesses to Sayid that the Others were trying to convince him to poison Sayid because he’s been infected.
Hurley comes out and tries to act all covert with predictably awkward results. Jack declines his request to leave only to change his mind when Hurley tells him that Jacob said ‘you have what it takes’. Jack gets all huffy and pissy and demands to go see Jacob. Off they go, hiking through the jungle (‘good times!’), nearly get shot during Kate’s cameo, and wind up back at their original cave.
During their hike to the Lighthouse Hurley asks Jack why he came back. Jack confesses that he was broken and foolishly thought the island could heal him. I like this renewed, honest, no BS Jack. If he was around in Season One I’m betting a lot more people would be alive.
When they get to the Lighthouse, Jack breaks in the door and Hurley nearly dies climbing to the top. Jacob told Hurley they need to direct the light towards the 108 heading. While helping Hurley, Jack notices something odd in the mirror. He tells Hurley to go back and sees his own childhood house in the mirror. When he moves it further back he sees a church, then an Asian temple, then a Sesame Street rerun from 1984, then a scrambled HBO signal that Jacob has been complaining to Comcast about for eternity. Jack then looks at the wheel and notices name and numbers written on it. The same names and numbers written in the cave.
Jack is royally pissed now. He demands that Hurley get in touch with Jacob to ask him why he’s been watching Jack. Hurley tries to explain that it doesn’t work that way, but Jack has had enough of Ghost Whispering and smashes the mirrors with a golden telescope. I’m sure that symbolic somehow, but still confused about Jack’s son give it much thought.
Jacob finally appears and explains to Hurley sometimes he can simply talk to someone in a taxi and tell them what to do and other times people need to figure things out for themselves. It was Jacob’s bizarrely dysfunctional way of letting Jack know how important he is.
Plus he had to get Jack and Hurley as far away from the Temple as he could. Someone bad is coming, he tells Hurley. Hurley wants to go back to warn everyone but Jacob tells him it’s already too late. Personally, Jacob warning everyone in the Temple would have been less of a dick move.
Meanwhile, Claire is proving to Jin just how utterly insane she has become by keeping a bone baby with a truly ugly face in her carriage, capturing one of the Others because she’s convinced they have Aaron, fixing up Jin’s leg, then murdering the Other dude with an ax to the stomach.
Fortunately Claire has a great support system; a friend who shows up to meet Jin. Only it’s Fake Locke. Welcome to the recruiting process, Jin. Would you like some milk and cookies?
What We Learned
- Someone else is on their way to the island.
- Claire and Fake Locke are BFFs. I’ll be they have their initials carved into a tree and everything.
- Claire needs some heavy duty Dharma conditioner to get that hair straightened out.
- Real World Jack has a son, is apparently divorced and hasn’t spent a ton of time with him.
- Jack’s son isn’t a big fan of pizza or failure but seems to enjoy lipstick.
- Real World Jack had his appendix out when he was seven and has a bad memory of his own body.
- Jack’s mother should look in the obvious places for paperwork before pulling out dozens of boxes.
- Kate is gung ho about finding Claire; something she’ll be very sorry about if she ever does find her. Let’s hope she has her ax proof spanks on.
- The numbers associated with the ‘candidates’ are actually coordinates on the Lighthouse wheel.
- Jacob is a long distance peeping tom.
- PAD and Hurley are intellectual equals when it comes to tic-tac-toe.
- Fake Locke can cover some ground when he needs to.
- Real World Dogan still talks like a fortune cookie.
- Did I mention Jack has a son in the Real World?
- Claire is cuckoo for Coco Puffs. Even Rousseau didn’t go this far over the edge and her baby was legitimately kidnapped.
- Claire can multitask with the best of them. Fix up Jin’s leg AND murder someone in cold blood? You bet!
- Don’t get your leg caught in a bear trap.
- Christian’s coffin loves traveling the world.
- There is no trash pickup on the island. Shannon’s inhaler, Christian’s coffin, bodies everywhere. Dharma should have engineered some raccoons instead of bears.
- Claire is mentioned in Christian’s will.
- Real World Christian was still a dick.
- Jack’s mother has had a terrible face lift.
- Judging from that smile he gave Jack, Dogan may have feelings for him that go beyond mere torturer, cryptic keeper of all Temple secrets, reluctant watcher of the candidates. He may like LIKE Jack.
- Fake Locke has a lot on his plate at the moment.
- Who did Jack have a child with? Think it was the same ex-wife from Island World time line? That might be a stretch since she’s has her own clan on ‘Modern Family’ now.
- Why does Claire refer to Fake Locke not as ‘John’ but as ‘my friend’? Has she seen him in other forms?
- How could someone die that quickly from an ax to the stomach? While it can’t be pleasant I’m not even sure an ax could kill you completely unless it was to the head. Surely it would take more than 5 seconds and there would be lots of screaming in pain involved, right?
- Where’s Sawyer? Is he outside the tent? Did Fake Locke leave him behind while he flew to get Claire?
- What did that Other dude do to take that kind of punishment? First he gets nailed by a bunch of boulders courtesy of Kate then he gets shot by Claire and pretends to be dead only Claire figures it out, brings him to the tent and plants her ax in him. He’s had the worst day ever. For this island, that is saying a lot.
- Can I get a blueprint of that Temple? It seems never ending.
- Did Real World Dogan somehow know something was going on? His ‘Your son has a gift’ and general parenting advice seemed to have dual meanings.
- Who is coming to the island? Is it just one person? A group of people with the one important person included? Desmond? Widmore? The IRS demanding back real estate taxes?
- And why does Jacob keep drawing people to the island? Judging by the amount of folks he’s managed to kill off he may want to rethink his strategy.
- Why am I suddenly suspicious of Jacob’s motives?
- Who are the Adam and Eve skeletons by the cave? Will we ever find out?
- If Jacob has all the ‘candidate’ names on the wheel of the lighthouse, why does he also need them in a cave that’s nearly impossible to get to? Is the cave actually where Fake Locke tracks potential candidates? In which case, how does he get those names? Is he potentially missing some?
- Did Hurley ever find anything to eat?
- What has happened to Claire? How did she become infected? Why did she leave Aaron in the jungle? Did the Others torture her like they did Sayid? The brand mark seems to indicate they put her through that same ‘test’. Why does she think Aaron has been kidnapped?
- Would it kill the Others to install a horseshoe pit in the Temple?
- What in holy hell was in Claire’s baby carriage or crib? The thing was a monstrosity.
- Why doesn’t Jack remember his appendix scar? If you remember Juliet removed his appendix on the island when it was threatening to rupture. In Real World he’s already had it removed when he was a child. So why doesn’t he remember it?
- To carry that further, is there some sort of rift going on with the Real World timeline that is disrupting that timeline? So far we’ve had four episodes and in all four the character who originally crash landed with Oceanic 815 has had one of those odd ‘looking in the mirror’ moments in which they seemed to sense something was off. Jack on the plane (with the blood on his neck), Kate after finding the stuffed animal in the bag she stole from Claire, Locke just before calling Jack’s office. Does everyone sense that they shouldn’t be where they are? Do they all feel something missing?
That looks like a good place to stop. Until next week, Lost friends.
Today's distraction: A complete list compiled by worse addicts than I that list every name that was visible on the cave wall or the lighthouse wheel. It's eye opening when you see Rosseau and Kate's name (she's #51). Scroll all the way to the bottom for potential answers.