Monday, February 8, 2010

Super Thoughts

Officially, this should be the title of all my entries. Because I'm super and all my thoughts...ah forget it.


Here are some random thoughts from Super Bowl Sunday. I'll admit the Super Bowl is always bitter sweet. It's been a great game the last few years, I usually look forward to it, but it also marks the official end of the season. No NFL until August. That's no good.


Anyway


- For two weeks all media heads were crowing about was how great Peyton Manning is and how he's one of the best of all time and how he simply picks apart defenses at will. By the time the game was over it was Brees who had picked apart the Colt's defense. 32 of 39 (one of which was a spike to stop the clock and another a drop off the face of Colston), 288 yards, 2 touchdowns, 8 different receivers, 1 MVP, 1 Super Bowl, 1 trip to Disney World and incalculable amounts of endorsements. How you like him now?


- Anyone know how Brees got that scar on his face? I hope it's some cool story about him rescuing kids off a school bus that stalled on train tracks. He gets everyone off, then goes back to save a stray dog just before a train takes out the bus. I'll bet it's something entirely less great than that.


- What's Peyton Manning's legacy now? He certainly should still be considered one of the best ever, but his playoff meltdowns seem to outnumber his playoff successes. Hold on, need to check something...


Ok, his playoff record is now 9 - 9. At the very least his failures match his successes. Not that he's entirely to blame for last night's loss, but it must say something that he puts up staggering numbers in the regular season only to become mortal against the better teams.


I just don't know what.


- I made my specialty yesterday afternoon: Sausage bread. I made one super spicy and another mild. The boys plowed through the mild like they were refugees. I had four slices of the spicy myself. Good times!

- Can we please cease with the 'Finally, New Orleans is a winner' story? The city has been in a perpetual celebration since 1901. It took a three week break after Katrina swept through, but let's not portray it as a city in need of something to feel good about. Let's not forget they also get to watch Chris Paul play 41 times a year.


- If anything, shouldn't we feel bad for Colt fans? (Actual answer: NO!) They live in a city where the only reason to get out of bed is sports. Currently it's cold, snowy, windy, and depressing. Let's be honest, if you're living in Indiana there is very few reasons to feel good about anything.

- Let's keep in perspective one crucial point to last night's game. If that onside kick to start off the second half had failed (and it nearly did), Sean Payton certainly wouldn't be viewed as a coach with balls of solid brass. Let's flash back a few months to the Patriot - Colt game and that fourth and two. Belichick is currently looked upon as a fool for trying such a stunt. Yet, that onside kick was an even bigger gamble since they rarely work and - if the Colts had recovered - could have set the stage for a full fledged blow out.

Yes, it worked. Yes, it was a ballsy call and it certainly seemed to take the steam out of the Colts and put them on their heels. But keep in mind that one random bounce the other way would have spelled doom for the Saints.


- The Who certainly looked their respective ages last night. I'm fairly certain Daltrey was wearing a wig and Townsend's stomach was hanging out throughout the performance. They looked less like rock royalty than your father's drunken brothers playing Guitar Hero. I felt sad. Not the emotion Super Bowl organizers were hoping for I'll bet.


Since it seems that the Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson debacle has halftime organizers gun shy, here are my suggestions for the next five Super Bowls. I'm assuming the standards are they be past their primes and in no way offensive or scary to anyone above the age of 70.


Rolling Stones
Hootie and the Blowfish
Barry Manilow
Cast of 'Glee': A Tribute to the Osmonds
Kidz Bop 22 Live

- While there is no doubt Brees deserved the MVP, I sure hope New Orleans kicker Garrett Hartley received some consideration. Three long field goals that kept the Saints hopes alive when the game was still in doubt.


- Wifey and I were debating whether Queen Latifah was lip syncing when she gave us a definitive answer: She screwed up the lyrics. Shouldn't every singer do this? Or slightly change the lyrics during their performance just to prove they're singing live? Gotta love the age of music we live in.

Or not.

Carrie Underwood gave us a similarly definite answer by souring that last note of the national anthem.


- Now for the important part of the program. The commercials. Once again things were below average for this year's crop. The golden age of Super Bowl Ads has come and gone, my friends.


Enjoyed


Betty White 'Snickers': simply for how realistic it looked when she was tackled. Abe Vigoda as the punchline was great, too.


The E-Trade baby: Both the 'Milk-aholic' and the airplane one.

Megan Fox: Not even sure what it was for, but it was sexy and hilarious.

CareerBuilder Casual Fridays: Horrifying and funny.


Doritos: Was it me or did they spend a fortune on ads this year? They even sponsored the half time report. Sadly, the only one that was amusing was the one where the little kid tells his mother's date 'Hands off my momma...hands off my Doritos'. (Note: what's it say about how far we've come when an advertisement is based around a single mother's dating prospects? Ten years ago this would have caused rioting outside Catholic Churches around the globe. Although it is still early).


Bud Light Can House: 'Enviro-what?'


Bud Light Auto Tune ad: Hilarious while poking fun at the most annoying invention in music since Tiny Tim.


Hated (or was confused by)

Doritos dog collar ad: Maybe I missed the setup, but I wasn't sure what was going on until the guy started getting shocked. Then I just considered what an asshole he was for doing that to a dog and that dogs shouldn't be eating Doritos regardless and I totally lost what I was watching. Also, add the one at the gym was just stupid.

McDonald's Lebron vs Dwight: A poor replication of the classic Bird vs Jordan 'Horse' ad. That we've gone from outside shooting to dunks and the punchline is neither of the players know who Larry Bird is depressed me.

Tim Tebow and his mother: Is Tebow intentionally trying to make himself look like a tool? If so, it's working.

The Simpsons Coke Ad: Animation was fantastic, but I didn't laugh once during this entire commercial. The Simpsons is still a comedy, right?

Monster.com Beaver Ad: So a beaver wants to be a fiddler instead of building dams. Wait...what?

Chevy Chase/Beverly D'Angelo as the Griswalds: Not even sure what this commercial was for, but I kept thinking 'Has this really what it's come to?'

So that's it, friends. Another NFL season come and gone. Would like to thank Drew Brees, Marques Colston, Andre Johnson, Marion Barber, Jonathan Stewart, Vincent Jackson, and other role players for helping me win my fantasy league (and a cool $700).

Congrats again to the Saints. Now New Orleans people will finally have a reason to party. Like they need one.

Today's distractions: It's USA Today's Ad Meter. Vote for your favorites after trying to figure out how to shut that guy up. Note to USA Today's web programmers: if you want people to vote, don't have someone blabber on for 2 minutes. I'm betting more people simply close out your page than wait through it.


8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just a quick note: A legacy determination cannot be made until the player no longer plays (thus Brett Favre will never have a "legacy"). So the talk about Peyton and his "legacy" makes no sense. Let's table the discussion on where Peyton ranks among the best qbs of all time until we see what he's done over his entire career.
-Mowan

Clayton Bigsby said...

That thing on Brees' face is a birth mark. It looked different last night than it normally does. It looked worse than normal.

BeachBum said...

Mowan, I agree, but we now live in an era of instant history. Just wanted to get a jump on everyone.

That's a birthmark? It looks like something was cut out of his face. In a random sidenote, have you see Brees' wife? She is a cutie.

thepowerof10 said...

Am I the only one who didn't really care for the Doritos commercials? I was bored with almost every single commercial the entire game. When is GoDaddy going to realize that people don't give a shit about their videos online. Does anyone actually expect to go to the website and see Danica Patrick naked on a bearskin rug?

BeachBum said...

I just learned that the Stones played halftime a few years ago. Why don't I remember that? What the hell is happening to my brain?

Anonymous said...

Agree that Manning conclusions are a bit soon. Elway's playoff record before 2 straight Super Bowl wins to end his career...8-8 he was a "choker."

The last 2 years of his career he has Terell Davis carry him to a title and wins another one the next year that I think the the Broncos could have won with Jamarcus Russel playing QB. Suddenly his legacy is that of "clutch" and a winner. Give it a few years before we rate Manning.

Also I absolutely hate when people judge individual players' greatness in team sports on wins and losses. Any quarterback is dependent on his teammates and while sometimes one player's excellence can overcome other players' shittiness most of the time it can not. Just like Manning couldn't overcome Reggie Wayne's shitty route (probably due to bum knee) on that int and he couldn't overcome Wayne's drop on a sure TD or garcon's drop on another key 3rd down play.

I thought Manning played well and blame for loss should go to Wayane, Garcon, and Hank Baskett. Also some bad play calling.

-Jacobi

BeachBum said...

Jacobi, my only issue with your argument is the QBs get all the credit when their teams do well. It's only fair they get the blame when things don't.

As much as I like Brady, he benefitted from great defenses his first few years.

Being a quarterback is a double edged sword. You get all the praise while winning and all the blame while losing.

Anonymous said...

And since QBs get all the praise when winning, Montana is the greatest of all time (always won in Super Bowls, 4-0)! And because I think so, which probably isn't a solid arguement at all!
-Mowan