Quite frankly, I’m a little depressed.
Say what you will about Lost, but the main draw of the show isn’t just the mysteries and explosions and trying to figure out who is conning who, but the characters. The survivors who have become so familiar to us they now seem like old friends – flaws and all, we still root for them.
Which is why it’s doubly difficult to take the deaths of many of those friends. What other show but Lost could leave us with one of the most traumatizing endings ever. While I’m still hoping for some sort of ‘happy ending’, it is disturbingly apparent that was never the intent of this series.
Besides, there is something else we need to keep in mind: nothing is irreversible.
Off we go.
I’ll just skim over the important parts in each section. Not sure I have the heart to go into the details, anyway.
Real World: For the 175th time in Lost history, we see a close up of someone’s eye opening. This time it’s Locke coming out of surgery with Jack hovering over him. They play nice, Jack offers Locke a chance to walk again and Locke politely declines just as Peggy Bundy enters.
Sidenote: I find it odd that more than 10 years after ‘Married With Children’ ended, Al and Peggy Bundy are in my two current favorite shows. Now I know how Jack feels when everyone he runs into was on Oceanic 815. If Christina Applegate joins the cast of ‘Community’ I’m going to freak, man.
Jack, being the ‘need to help everyone whether they like it or not’ Jack of old, decides to find out why Locke refuses help and tracks down his dentist (uhh…okay). Bernard is his dentist – and also reminds Jack that he, too, was on 815. ‘I believe you were flirting with my wife while I was in the john.’ I miss Bernard and Rose this season.
Anyway, Bernard gives Jack the name of one Anthony Cooper who, oddly, was not on Oceanic 815 with the rest of L.A. Jack tracks him down, runs into Peggy Bundy again and learns that Cooper, still played by Roy Desoto (oh yeah, shout out to all my ‘Emergency’ peeps), is a veg. Comatose and in a wheelchair which is really going to piss Sawyer off.
Jack goes to confront Locke but instead spends quality time with Claire, a music box and our first shared mirror moment. When Locke is leaving, he confesses to Jack that he is the reason his father is a zombie. He was taking his first solo flight, insisted his father come with him and immediately crashed. No mention of whether his instructor was a drunk Captain Frank, but I think we all know the answer to that one.
Jack tries to convince Locke it’s time to let go of his father, but Locke wants none of it. He wheels off and Jack yells after him that he really can help him. ‘I wish you would believe me.’ This causes Locke to pause and, making the quickest recovery from a hit and run in the history of mankind, says goodbye to Jack and rolls away.
Island World: Way too much going on here, so let’s just hit the highlights.
Together are Sun, Jin, Sawyer, Kate, Hurley, Claire and Captain Frank. They are captives of Widmore and put in the bear cages again (go Sawyer!). Fake Locke convinces Jack to help them escape. Smokey cruises in and causes a diversion known to most of us as a massacre while Jack gets everyone out of the cage.
Now the gang is back together again and they all head for the Ajira plane. Only Fake Locke gets there first, takes some bullets for his trouble and finds the plane wired to explode. Can’t take this plane, he tells everyone, it’s not safe. Like anything on the island is safe. Let’s take the sub instead. Sawyer’s plan and no red flags?
They get to the sub to find it unguarded. Too easy, guys!! Sawyer and Captain Frank manage to get on and convince the captain to get moving. On the dock the Wild Wild West breaks out and Kate is conveniently shot in the shoulder. Why the shoulder, Hollywood? Why always the shoulder?
After shoving Fake Locke off the dock, Jack scoops up Kate and brings her into the sub hoping he’ll have to take her shirt off to dress the wound. I would gather, anyway. While still in there, the sub dives leaving Claire and Fake Locke behind. ‘You don’t want to be on that sub,’ Fake Locke tells her while everyone watching responds ‘oh, shit’.
Yeah, Fake Locke handed Jack the backpack with the wired C-4 in it. They discover this when Jack’s looking for a first aid kit. They did exactly what Fake Locke wanted them to do, Jack says. Sayid quickly checks out the bomb, thinks it can be disarmed by pulling the two battery wires at ‘exactly’ the same time.
Jack tells them to do nothing. ‘Nothing will happen,’ he tries to convince everyone. ‘Trust me,’ he pleads with Sawyer. ‘Sorry, Doc,’ and Sawyer pulls the two wires…
…and nothing happens. Horay, Sawyer! Just then the timer beeps and speeds up. Boo, Sawyer!! Sayid quickly tells Jack that Desmond is still alive at the bottom of a well then takes off running with the bomb.
BOOM goes the bomb and Sayid and water comes rushing into the sub. Hurley and Kate swim out while Sawyer, Jin, and Jack try to free Sun who is trapped in twisted metal. Sawyer gets clonked on the head about 5 minutes too late and Jack needs to swim out carrying him. Sun and Jin are now left (Captain Frank ate a steel door earlier) and Sun tries to convince Jin to leave her. No @#%*ing way, Jin says (it was in Korean). ‘I’m not leaving you,’ he says and they drown together in the most romantic way possible.
Back on the island we see Jack drag Sawyer onto the beach. Kate and Hurley run up and learn about Sun and Jin and they all have a good cry together. Back on the dock Fake Locke informs Claire that the sub has sunk. ‘They’re all dead?’ she asks. ‘Not all of them,’ Fake Locke says and heads off.
‘Where are you going?’ Claire asks.
‘To finish what I started!’
What We Learned
- Sun, Jin, Captain Frank, and Sayid’s contracts were up.
- Sun and Jin didn’t really consider the welfare of their daughter while drowning together. Isn’t one parent better than none?
- Sawyer really doesn’t trust Jack.
- Desmond is still alive and probably really hungry.
- Real World Locke was paralyzed in a plane crash that also turned his father into a vegemite sandwich.
- Widmore knows about the names. He mentions Ford, Reyes, and the Kwons and knows that Kate isn’t on the list.
- Jack’s getting freaked out that everyone he’s running into in the Real World appears to have been on the same flight as him.
- Claire has the fakest pregnant belly ever filmed.
- Even Bernard hopes Jack finds what he’s looking for.
- Locke has a moment of dual consciousness in his sleep; talking about pressing the button and wishing Jack believed him.
- The cages weren’t nearly as fun for Kate and Sawyer as they were the first time.
- Jack and Sawyer working together never works out well.
- Claire is going to have some major abandonment issues.
- Jack and Claire are bonding in the Real World like typical half siblings who just met each other. That is ‘awkwardly’.
- Christian left Claire that music box that serves absolutely no purpose.
- Captain Frank was just along for the ride.
- Jack can’t tell the difference between his standard backpack and one loaded down with deadly C-4 explosives. In his defense, there was a lot going on.
- Fake Locke is diabolical.
- Desmond’s pep talk with Sayid really paid off.
- Fake Locke looks like he’s done playing around.
- Sure seems like Real World Locke is starting to wonder what is going on, as well. Anyone else catch the look of recognition he gave Jin when they passed each other in the hospital corridor?
- Locke is a ‘candidate’ in the real world. Only for a highly experimental spinal fusion surgery. Still, better than nothing.
- That pilot episode phrase ‘Live together, die alone’ had more meaning than we ever thought.
- Locke is a terrible pilot.
- Why didn’t someone just pull out the other two wires from the bomb in the sub? Not like it would have mattered at that point.
- What caused Sayid to pull the about face and sacrifice himself for the sake of everyone? My guess: Between Desmond making him face his Nadia questions and his realization that Fake Locke was setting them up from the beginning, he finally figured out he was master of his own fate. Enough of what everyone thinks about him, he’s just doing what he feels is right. Also, I wonder if a part of him trusted Jack and also knew nothing would happen when the timer hit 00:00.
- Will Real World Locke knowing how to fly a plane somehow become a factor with the Ajira plane in the Island World? Oh, yeah. I call dibs on that theory! DIBS!!
- What kind of explosion can cause Sun to be so wrapped up in all sorts of twisted metal while everyone else remains nearly untouched? Did the sub just really like her? Is she magnetic?
- What the hell was Bernard doing to those dental molds? He may be a nice guy but I don’t want him working on my teeth.
- Is Widmore somehow in league with Fake Locke? Two guards at the Ajira plane, the sub virtually unguarded. I was expecting Widmore to walk up next to Fake Locke at the end of the episode and give him a man hug.
- Will Claire turn on Fake Locke?
- Speaking of which, where is that dagger that is supposedly the only thing that can kill Fake Locke? Although, judging by Sayid’s attempt it probably wouldn’t do much good, anyway.
- Can Fake Locke really kill Jack and all his friends anytime he wants, like he claimed to Jack? Or, like Jack surmises, are there rules preventing him from doing so?
- And how did Jack figure that out?
- Why do people insist on shooting Smokey?
- Why was Kate’s name crossed off on the cave wall?
- Is RW Locke’s father still the same Anthony Cooper that conned Sawyer’s parents?
- What is with Jack and those candy bars?
- Did Widmore really rig the Ajira flight to explode or could that have been Fake Locke’s own doing? Anyone notice he takes the watch off one of the guards before he finds the explosives? That watch is what is rigged to the bomb in the sub.
- Is Fake Locke all knowing and seeing and just pretends he’s not? He genuinely seemed pissed when he came back to his camp to find Jin had been taken, but he also somehow knew some of the candidates survived the sub bomb.
- Why would it take five minutes for a sub to surface when it just started diving?
- Anyone going to grieve over the captain of the sub who died while he was just minding his own business?
- Will Jack and Sawyer now bond over the decisions they’ve made that have killed untold numbers of people?
- What were Fake Locke and Claire talking about the entire time on that dock?
- Will Sawyer get a glimpse of the Real World while unconscious?
Think that about covers it. Just learned the series finale is being stretched to two and a half hours. That extra 30 minutes will no doubt be used to setup ‘Lost – The Return’ which will bring Aaron, Sun’s daughter, and Walt to the island in 20 years. They should all be sufficiently messed up by the lack of parental guidance to make them perfectly suited to be the next generation of candidates.
Today's distraction: It's the latest fitness craze: The WWW. Triple Dubs, baby. Not exactly safe for work, but hilarious.