Now that is more like it. My faith has been restored. Big Bad Ben is back and as darkly enjoyable as ever, Fake Locke finally explains why he walks, there were random deaths, throat slashings, Jacob confrontations, cold blooded murders, and empty wells. In short, Lost is back in fine form.
Not to worry, there are still plenty of questions to solve and puzzle over.
Let’s get to it, shall we?
Oh, we shall.
Let’s start with the Real World. And I’ll just sum things up to get to the good stuff.
Desmond is scheming and trying to get the Oceanic people to ‘Let go’, only he says it with a cool, Scottish accent. His process of getting everyone to let go includes running down paraplegics, forcing true loves to get together and beating the living snot out of Ben. Gotta admit, he’s got some balls. He even turns himself in to Sawyer to get near Sayid and Kate, also in custody. It was like the bear cages without sex. Yes, I was disappointed.
After his beating, Ben tells Locke all about Desmond’s claim that he wasn’t trying to kill Locke. The ‘Let go’ phrase gets something to click with Locke and he visits Jack in his office to tell him he’s ready ‘to be fixed’. In a surreal moment, Jack channels his island self with the phrase ‘I think you’re confusing coincidence with fate’. Oh, been there before, haven’t we, Jack?
Ben, meanwhile, runs into Alex and meets her mother for the first time in her four year, high school career. Yep, it’s Rousseau who insists on having Ben over for dinner (loved the ‘even if we have to kidnap you’ line), informs him that he is the closest thing Alex has had to a father which gets him all choked up and girly. This is the opposite of Island Ben. He’s a complex dude.
Jack has another bizarre mirror moment that’s almost matched by Ben. Jack has another bloody cut on his neck, though, so he wins. Ben just stares blankly at himself.
But the real story here is the reappearance of Ana Lucia and Hurley. Desmond, being transferred along with Sayid and Kate to ‘county’ (where ever that is) asks if they both want to escape. If they do, though, they need to promise Desmond they will do him a favor. They both sarcastically agree and two minutes later the truck stops, Ana Lucia opens up the back door and lets everyone out of the cuffs. She tells Desmond his friend better show or she’ll claim everyone was trying to escape and shoot.
‘Don’t worry.’ Desmond tells her while Sayid and Kate look on in shock, ‘he’ll be here.’
Sure enough, up drives Hurley in his environmentally friendly Hummer, jumps out and hands Ana Lucia over a hundred grand in cash. Desmond tells Sayid to go with Hurley and Kate will go with him in Hurley’s cool Camaro. ‘We’re going to a concert,’ Desmond tells her and hands her a skimpy black dress I can’t wait to see her wear during Sunday’s finale.
Well done, Desmond. Well done.
By the way, the Celtics are up by eight going into the fourth quarter. Yes, that is why I’m still awake. Well, that and the two cups of coffee I had with dinner. 2 – 0 is looking good. Did I just jinx this?
Island World: While Jack sews up Kate’s wound, they both agree that Fake Locke needs to be taken down. While Sawyer guilty watches wreckage from the sub wash ashore, Jack tells them they need to go find the Desmond well.
While on their hike, Sawyer confesses to Jack that he believes he killed Sun, Jin, and Sayid. Jack assures him it wasn’t his fault and that Fake Locke is the one responsible. Also, Hurley sees teenaged Jacob who steals his own ashes away from him. Yeah, that’s a sentence you will never read while describing any other show in television history.
Jacob burns his own ashes and is suddenly visible and audible to everyone. He invites Kate, Sawyer, Jack and Hurley for a quick campfire story. He tells them that long ago he made a rather huge mistake: creating Smokey. My bad! They are there to help fix that mistake. One of them needs to take over guarding the island. Kate asks why her name was crossed off and, in one of my favorite Lost moments ever, Jacob replies ‘It’s just chalk in a cave. The job is yours if you want it.’
Jack (DUH!) agrees to become the new caretaker and is initiated the same way Jacob was initiated by his mother. Only with swamp water instead of wine. Kind of a gyp until you remember Jack has a bit of a drinking problem so it probably wasn’t the best time to have him fall off the wagon. Jack asks if it’s even possible to kill Locke and Jacob responds with a verbal shrug.
Meanwhile….Celtics lead is down to three with 5 minutes remaining. Is it too late to take back that 2 – 0 comment?
Fake Locke is paddling up to the Dharma barracks where Ben, PAD and Richard are loading up on C4. Zoey and Widmore conveniently show up, realize Fake Locke is coming and tells everyone ‘Quick, HIDE!’. PAD, being the only sane person left on the island, responds with ‘Screw you guys, I’m taking off!’ and takes off. He’s a man of his word.
Richard and Ben decide that the time for flight is over and the time to fight is now. That gets Richard a face full of Smokey and Ben – given the option of taking over the island – again turns sides and fights with Locke. He brings Fake Locke to where Widmore and Zoey are hiding. To the delight of nearly everyone, Locke immediately kills Zoey then grills Widmore on why he was back on the island and why Desmond was around.
F@#*!!! Magic just took a one point lead!!!!
Suddenly shots ring out as Ben guns down Widmore with extreme prejudice. He’s been waiting to do that for a while. Fake Locke tells Ben he has a few more people to kill and brings him to the Desmond Well. Only…whoops…Desmond is no longer there. Left behind is merely a rope. Locke tells Ben that someone did him a favor. See, Fake Locke no longer wants Desmond dead. He now needs him to do something.
Help him destroy the island.
What We Learned
- Real World Rousseau is still creepy and a bit off. She also possesses questionable mothering skills considering Alex has been spending a lot of time with a middle aged man and has never met him before now. You suck, Rousseau. That’s what I‘m trying to say.
- Island Ben is still infected or just a total asswipe. Or both.
- Zoey didn’t have to die to save the island, she was just annoying.
- Richard buried Alex’s body.
- Kate’s name was crossed off because she became a mother but she is still a candidate.
- PAD is interested in surviving.
- Jack is the next guardian.
- Desmond is alive and free from the well.
- Hurley now seems to have full island memories in the Real World.
- Ana Lucia is still trouble.
- Fake Locke walks because he likes the feel of his feet on the ground. It reminds him of being human.
- Jacob created Smokey when he threw his brother into that golden light. It happens.
Celtics pulled out a three point win. I know you were all dying to know that.
- Desmond is luring Jack into his web of…well…whatever he’s doing…by pretending Oceanic airlines found his father’s body. Low, Desmond.
- Ben shooting Widmore did not kill his only chance of survival.
- Real World Ben believed Real World Desmond. Getting your ass kicked can have that effect.
- Teen Jacob is a brat.
- Ben never ceases to amaze Fake Locke.
- Jack will drink anything.
- Not speaking to Locke makes you worthless.
- Island Desmond is the fail safe.
- Jacob picked all of the candidates because they were like him: flawed with messed up parental relationships. They were all looking for something they couldn’t find in the Real World.
Quick sidenote: I loved the Jacob fireside chat. Sawyer protesting ‘We were doing just fine’ only to have Jacob verbally smack him down with ‘No, you weren’t. You were all flawed and alone’ and not one of them arguing that fact. I also thought it interesting that Jacob shared not only his mistake but his one regret – not being given a choice. He lets them all choose who will take over for him. Jack, as we all suspected, took the challenge. Just a well done show over all. I will now excuse last week’s travesty as a fluke. Carry on.
- Jack’s new job will be protecting the light from Smokey. Tall order.
- Hurley’s just glad it isn’t him.
- Jack is like Jacob who is like his mother who is like someone else that came before her. It’s all very confusing and mystical.
- Fake Locke wants to use Desmond to destroy the island. So much for promises.
- How is Ben supposed to take Fake Locke’s admission he’s going to try to destroy the island? Wasn’t he just promised it to have for himself before he gunned down Widmore? Will Ben try to stop Fake Locke? I think Smokey just made a tactical error in admitting this to Ben. Ben loves the island.
- Why is it Jack will now be able to find the light? Does the initiation come with some sudden, illumination on what the island is, how it works and where everything is located? Or does Jacob hand him a mobile GPS?
- Does Fake Locke actually succeed in destroying the island? Is that why it’s under water in the season premiere?
- Will Jack contract malaria from that ceremony?
- What would have happened if nobody had a cup for the ceremony? Would the entire thing be over? . Would Jacob have just thrown his hands up, ‘Seriously? Nobody has a cup? I can’t do this with my hands, people!! Man, I picked the worst candidates for this!’
- Why was Jack carrying a cup, anyway? I know he’s obsessive about preparation, but this seems a bit over board
- What is Real World Desmond’s end game? Is he arranging everyone to meet at Faraday and Drive Shaft’s concert? If so, what will that do? Will everyone suddenly ‘let go’ if they are all together? Or are they going to see Jack’s prodigy son?
- How does Real World Hurley suddenly remember everything? He recognizes Ana Lucia immediately and is fully invested in Desmond’s plan.
- If Fake Locke manages to escape the island and – as Widmore said before – everything comes to an end, why was he so concerned about Fake Locke’s threat regarding Penny?
- Is Richard dead?
- Will Ben and Rousseau get it on in the Real World? Am I the only one highly disturbed by that possibility?
- Who is Jack’s ex wife in the Real World? We can assume it’s not Ana Lucia now so it must be Juliet, right? Right??
- Where is Desmond on the island? Is he running around naked again?
- Where are Real World Hurley and Sayid going?
- What do the Oceanic people need to ‘let go’ of?
- What’s with the blood on Jack’s neck again? Is he just a terrible shaver?
- How are they going to kill Fake Locke?
- How does the Real World fit into all of this?
- Will Jack have time to fix Real World Locke?
- Did Ben, Richard and PAD take the long way to the Dharma barracks? They leave at the same time Jack and Hurley go to talk to Fake Locke. In the meantime Sawyer and crew are captured, Jack springs them, they go to the plane, find it rigged with C-4, hijack the sub, get blown up, swim to shore and they are JUST then getting to the barracks? Were they sightseeing? Walking in slow motion? They couldn’t even beat Widmore who paddled to the island?
- Will we ever find out who was shooting at our time traveling friends last season? Remember everyone was skipping through time and they were paddling from one side to the other and suddenly another boat was shooting at them from behind? Who was that?
- Did Jacob really invite Widmore to the island?
- How did Desmond know Kate’s dress size? Did he buy one a size smaller so it’s nice and tight?
- Is Ben really going to attempt to kill everyone for Smokey? Or does he another plan?
THE Finale on Sunday, Lost friends. I probably won’t have time to pull a full recap on Monday, but I’ll throw something together.
Today's distraction: A highlight reel of Sawyer's nicknames. My favorites are still Skeletor, Tokyo Rose, Short Round and Twitchy. He'll be missed. These are from the first three seasons, by the way. You can find the rest in the related links section.