Thursday, May 20, 2010

Not A Lost Entry

Apologies for only writing about Lost the last few weeks. Work is kicking my ass. On Tuesday I was awake for nearly 24 hours straight. Up at 4 am for my morning workout, got boys to school, 10 hours at work, baseball game for youngest who spends more time building sand castles in the infield dirt than paying attention, dinner, Lost, write most of the Lost entry while watching second half of Celtics game.

Bed at midnight. What’s that? Twenty hours awake and active?

Being a decrepit old man, I did not get up the next morning easily.

Some random thoughts I’ve been mulling over since last we spoke. And we really don’t talk as often as we should. I do realize that.

- Part of my job is to prepare for any worst case scenario. I mean that literally. If my building falls down it’s on me to get a secondary server up and running as quickly as possible so everyone here can access email and files and porn (I would assume) while someone else finds us another place to hang our coats. I try to think of where something could possibly go wrong and put in place a plan of attack to make sure things are fixed as soon as possible.

Now, obviously, you can never envision every scenario. There will always be some disastrous turn of events that one will be woefully unprepared for. It happens to the best of us.

I’m thinking, of course, of BP and the disaster currently taking place in the Gulf of Mexico. Companies whose main business is a high risk, high reward endeavor like oil drilling should probably have every worst case scenario planned for. Right? Like, say one of their oil rigs springs a leak (or, you know, explodes), I would be fairly certain the engineers working for BP would pull out Plan C for just such a contingency and hop on a boat or in a helicopter and rush to the scene to fix things immediately, if not sooner.

Instead a company that made approximately 60 quadrillion dollars in profit last year can’t figure out how to stop millions upon millions of gallons of oil from gushing into the Gulf. I do realize their rig blew up, but the basic problem is a pipe is broken and they don’t know how to put a plug in it. Putting a block of concrete over seemed to be their best idea and that didn’t work well. At all.

How about a cork? Got a big cork you can use?

In the meantime the Gulf’s ecosystem is reaching critical mass. Yesterday reports started coming out that the EPA is getting very concerned that some of the oil slick could hit the Gulf Stream, spreading all the lovely, expensive oil up the east coast.

Hey, you know who spends a lot of time on the beaches of the east coast? Me, that’s who! Frankly I don’t want to be dodging oil slicks and dead birds because BP was so woefully unprepared they make the Keystone Cops look competent.

- While I’m raging about this, how have we not figured out a way to absorb oil from water? Oil and water don’t mix. They stay separate. So how is it we are in the year 2010 and there is still no way to collect the oil before it destroys our coasts? There is no chemical that will dissolve it or make it harmless to the environment? What about some new fabric we can pull through the ocean and it only collects the oil?

How is it we’ve invented a car that will parallel park itself and I can check Celtic scores from the top of Mount Washington if I have the proper service plan but we haven’t figure this out?

- The one good thing about the oil disaster is the timing of it. In my neck of the woods there has been a bitter, somewhat illogical, debate about installing a state of the art wind farm off the coast of Nantucket. The biggest gripe about how it would affect the environment was a close second to how it would ruin the view for the fat cats that can actually afford a house on Nantucket.

Make no mistake, the view was the biggest concern for most. EPA did many studies regarding it and found – repeatedly – that the benefits greatly outweigh the risks. Don’t think that prevented residents from filing suit or bitching to the press about it, though. Ted Kennedy was even opposed to it before he died, apparently concerned he might bump into one with his multimillion dollar yacht.

Since the Gulf disaster, there hasn’t been a peep out of anyone about it and the Secretary of Energy himself came to Boston to basically say ‘Shut the fuck up, this thing is going forward and if you keep testing me I’ll make your children disappear’. Only in a polite, political way.

Besides, have you ever seen a wind turbine? We have one in my city, there is one towering over the expressway in Boston, and there are several on one of the Boston Harbor islands. They are spectacular, majestic and impressive. They are the exact opposite of an eye sore and I can’t wait to get pictures of the Nantucket farm once it’s complete. Word is this may be the most extensive and advanced turbine system in the world.

Being Boston, however, this fight isn’t over. Nothing progresses easily around here. Just bring up getting rid of Fenway and building a new ball park if you want a taste.

- One of the cuties at lunch informed me that Kate Gosselin (aka Satan) has not one but two new shows coming out. Both are reality shows. One is a continuation of the Plus 8 thing, another is something equally stupid that I couldn’t give one NOR two shits about. I have henceforth made it my half assed mission to organize a boycott across America involving anything Gosselin. If this means those rug rats wind up starving in the street, so be it. Justice must be served.

- I had to talk my oldest son into playing another year in the minors for little league this spring. He complained that his team stunk and he was sick of losing. I told him that most of the same players are coming back and playing with familiar team mates will make the team better. He complained and whined but finally agreed. They are undefeated and every single one of their games has ended due to the slaughter rule. As a father it’s nice to be proven right now and then so your kids think you’re smart.

Even when it’s not true.

- I would like to throw out a few ‘Fuck You’s to some special douchebags:

To Rasheed Wallace, who openly admitted he didn’t try during the regular season. Thanks, Wallace, for mailing it in when I shelled out $350 for my tickets to the Oklahoma City game. I should point out that there is no quicker way to get Boston fans to hate your very being than admitting you didn’t bother working for you paycheck.

To Floyd Landis, who was so adamant in his denial about his positive PED test after his Tour de France victory he had me semi convinced that there was a major problem with the testing policies and/or the overly strict restrictions regarding diet or over the counter medications. Now he’s come forward and admitted that he really was doping back in the day and is ratting out other bikers with absolutely no proof to back him up. How long until the book comes out, Landis? You scumbag.

Jonathan Papelbon who has crumbled so drastically in the past two seasons the memory of the dominant closer he used to be is forever lost. He barely gets above 93 with his fastball which in turn makes him nibble at the corners rather than being aggressive and going after the hitters. In short, the Sox need a new closer.

That is all for now. Will try to get more up here when I can. Back to work.

Today’s distraction: For your endless pleasure here is Instant Fun. The name doesn’t lie. I’ve hit the Benny Hill Theme more times than I can count.


Rob said...

Everything about this post resonated with me. I, too, find that IBEW turbine majestic and also distracting. It's much more interesting to look at while driving that the road or nearby cars.

I was always convinced Lance Armstrong was a doper, and even though Floyd is a scumbag, his dragging LiveStrong into the muck just builds my own case against the 7-time champion.

I like your idea of some big fabric dragged through the ocean. Hook up hundreds of yards of that stuff to military copters and drag the shit out of the ocean.

When I'm watching the Sox, and see every starter routinely throw in the mid 90s at least half their pitches during their 5-7 innings of work, it makes me wonder what is so special about Papelbon's 93/94 fastball. Now I don't have to wonder. It. Is. Not. Special.

Sorry, but I have a softspot for 'Sheed having watched his best years first hand in Portland. I can forgive him that stupid utterance mainly because I don't think he was being truthful. He's getting old and it was more of an excuse.

I'm surprised you didn't give a douchebag shoutout to Hanley Ramirez. If that was a Red Sox player, he'd have been crucified and very quickly dealt away. Look at the other Ramirez who started dogging it in Boston. It went f5rom Manny being Manny to apathy and he was LA-bound before you could blink.

Great thought-provoking post Beach.

Rob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BeachBum said...

We've heard about Armstrong doping for years, but there has never been any proof. If he's passed all those rigorous tests the Tour puts every biker through, I'll trust that he was clean until evidence is presented that proves otherwise. Until that point I'm taking all those rumors as sour grapes from other jealous bikers.

I considered adding Ramirez, but he's still just a kid and every young player needs a kick in the ass at some point in their careers. I'm hoping this gets his head right and it's a momentary lapse.

As for Rasheed, I believe he's the one that coined the phrase 'CTC' for Cut the Check when he was in Portland. As in 'I don't care who I play for as long as someone CTCs'. He's one of the few athletes that honestly doesnt' care what fans think of him, so I don't think he was making excuses.