In exactly three days, I will be living just like my pseudonym would: On a beach with crystal clear water, free beer (which is actually prepaid, but allow me my fantasies), free food, and beautiful topless women on hand to apply sunscreen to all areas of my body (unverified).
I'll actually take two of those four options.
Since I'll be wrapping up work, dealing with my usual bullshit and packing, I probably won't be posting until I return from paradise.
Before I go I wanted to share with you how my five year old son views me. He handed this to me on Father's Day.
It’s titled “All About My Dad: Father’s Day 2010” and has sentences filled in for him to finish. His answers are in red.
My dad’s name is John
He is 21 years old (43, but thanks)
He is 10 feet tall (six one, tops)
His hair is black (nope)
His eyes are brown (nope)
My dad likes to relax by laying on the couch (with two boys, I barely have time to sit never mind lay on the couch)
He likes to eat mac and cheese (this is actually his favorite meal. I haven't had mac and cheese since I was twelve)
His favorite TV show is the news (while this isn't true, I'll give him credit if he considers 'SportsCenter' news)
My daddy always tells me clean up the play room (Well, if he weren't such a slob I wouldn't have to keep telling him that, would I? WOULD I???!!!!)
If he could go on a trip he would go to The Cayman Islands. (I should take this opportunity to mention that he packed his own suitcase Monday night in preparation for the trip. The only problem being we weren't leaving for nearly a week and he would have nothing to wear. Someone is excited to go on vacation.)
When we are together I like to go on a train. (Interesting answer as I’ve taken him on a train exactly twice in his life. Maybe I should just take him to work with me.)
My dad is the best dad in the world because he lets me get new toys.
So there you go. Apparently I’m a black haired, brown eyed, giant who lays on the couch eating mac and cheese while watching the news and yelling at him to pick up the playroom. Or, as I asked Wifey yesterday, perhaps he has another father I don’t know about??
On the other hand I look young for my age. I’ll take what I can get.
Today's distraction: I will leave you to dwell and investigate the immortality of Keanu Reeves. I'm sold!