Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Notes On A Massacre

According to this sketch of a report, a driver for a beer distributor near the Hartford area had been called into the warehouse for a disciplinary hearing. Rumors were that they were going to ask him to resign. The driver must have heard the rumors beforehand since he instead came in and started shooting the shit out of everything.

The count so far stands at eight dead, unknown numbers injured and one (assumed) suicide of said gunman.

A few thoughts:

1: Why do these things keep happening? What triggers a seemingly well adjusted person to dive head first into the deep end of the crazy pool? Is any job that great that losing it will prompt mass murder?

Granted, delivering beer is about as close to a dream job as I could hope for, but I wouldn’t kill anyone over it. You want to fire me? Fine, I’ll take some time off and get another job. Even if it’s part time at Starbucks I’ll find something. And free coffee is always a plus!

2: If you are feeling down about losing your job, why must you kill other people first? Just shoot yourself and leave everyone else alone, you fucker! Every time I hear about one of these nut jobs they always end up shooting themselves to end things. The Virginia Tech asshole was so calculating he remembered to save a bullet for himself. Well, then just kill yourself FIRST and cut out all that middle bullshit.

3: Why haven’t we figured out an escape scenario for this situation? We train twice a year for disasters like terrorist attacks, have fire drills and even ‘go bags’ that have bottled water, power bars and flashlights for the worse case scenarios. But there are still no corporate courses on how to spot and report a potential gunman working with you. Maybe it’s simply impossible to separate the possible mass murderers from the harmless, odd duck everyone avoids, but there must be some common warning signs. Anyone?

4: Maybe I’m thinking too logically about this (in which case, yay for me!), but how does gunning down innocent people solve anything? In what thought process does a person conclude ‘You know, maybe if I kill a few people they’ll have to keep me. I mean, they’ll be shorthanded and I already know the paperwork.’

Or more likely ‘They think they can fire me, well I’ll show them!’ before giving them an even better reason to fire him. What is it, exactly, are they trying to say with random, meaningless killing? That they deserved that job? That the company was wrong in firing them?

Well, hate to tell you, but you just proved not only why they should have fired you but that they should never have hired you in the first place. In fact, you just proved that everything they thought about you was right on!

Well done, you stupid fuck.

6: Enough of hiding behind the 2nd Amendment (which was written during a little period of time called The Revolutionary War), we need much stricter gun control. It’s frighteningly easy for these psychos to get their hands on guns. Making it more difficult would – at the very least – give everyone more time to heed warning signs or give a potential gunman time to think ‘Hmmm, is this really the best course of action?’

And, yes, I know there are always illegal weapons out there, but drastically curbing the sale of guns can’t hurt.

7: The governor of Connecticut offered condolences to the victim’s families which got me wondering what else could they possibly say? ‘Yeah, well, they should have known what they were in for working at a beer plant and all!’ Of course they’re sorry shit went down. And do those phony condolences mean anything at all to the families? ‘Oh, look, the Governor is sorry for us. That means so much.’

I know, I know, it’s just standard operating procedure and maybe it does serve as some sort of comfort. Still, seems a bit superfluous (Looky! Big word!). Like a President having to verbally condemn the genocide in another country.

8: I’ve noticed that politicians and police spokespersons will say ‘Our thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the victims.’ But what if the person is an atheist or not practicing any religion? Is that where the ‘thoughts’ part of that statement comes into play? As in ‘my thoughts and their prayers’?

Just wondering.

9: In the good news department, I heard all the beer is just fine.

Today’s distraction: A perfect illustration for the creative process.


A Tribute: deer a train and basketball said...

Thank god the beer is alright. I would've gone on a mass murdering spree and than killed myself if it wasn't.

BeachBum said...

I offended a table full of people when the news broke at lunch. Someone mentioned 8 people being killed in a shooting spree at a beer distribution plant and I immediately asked, in an urgent voice, 'Is the beer ok?'

It didn't go over nearly as well as I expected. Man, a few cold blooded murders and everyone loses their sense of humor.

A Tribute: deer a train and basketball said...

Haha... Nice. I would have been laughing if that makes you feel any better.

Clayton Bigsby said...

You know I bet it shut down beer deliveries for the day. That bastard.