Monday, August 16, 2010

Vacation Matchup

LOCATIONS

Grand Cayman: Approximately 400 miles south of Florida

Wells, Maine: Approximately 80 miles north of Boston


TIME SPENT

Grand Cayman: 7 days, 6 nights, June 27th through July 4th

Wells, ME: 7 days, 6 nights, August 7th through August 14th


TRAVEL TIME

Grand Cayman: 6 hours by plane

Wells, ME: 80 minutes by car


TOTAL COST

Grand Cayman: Shade over six grand

Wells, ME: Shade over two grand



AVERAGE WATER TEMPERATURE

Grand Cayman: 80 degrees

Wells, ME: 60 degrees…on a good day.


NUMBER OF DAYS WEARING ANYTHING BUT SHORTS AND TSHIRT

Grand Cayman: Zero

Wells, ME: Zero


BOOKS READ

Grand Cayman: ‘Storm Prey’ by John Sandford. Kick ass return of Minneapolis cop Lucas Davenport. One of the best of the series.

Wells, ME: ‘The Angel’s Game’ by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. Haunting story of a man’s descent into madness that leaves you puzzling out reality from what a damaged mind has conjured up.

Both books highly recommended.


NUMBER OF DAYS SPENT AT BEACH

Grand Cayman: Seven

Wells, ME: Five, mainly because we were so scorched a break was needed.


NUMBER OF BROKEN TOES

Grand Cayman: One. Received while exploring nearby reef.

Wells, ME: Two. Received while fooling around with eldest son in the indoor pool under the sign the specifically says ‘No horseplay’.


NUMBER OF BEERS CONSUMED

Grand Cayman: Lost count by day three.

Wells, ME: Lost count by hour three.


NUMBER OF CIGARS SMOKED

Grand Cayman: Three. All Cuban.

Wells, ME: Five. None Cuban but all just as good.

Quick sidenote: It’s become something of a revelation that the ‘Cuban’ cigar status has taken a bit of a hit lately (for me, anyway). One of the Cubans in GC wasn’t really that good and the Arturo Fuente I had up in Maine (which I think was Dominican) rivals anything from Castro’s island. Just saying that perhaps Cuba is riding more on its reputation that reality.


BEST MEAL

Grand Cayman: Surf and turf: grilled sirloin with full lobster tail and shrimp.

Wells, ME: Lobster dinner with corn on the cob, roasted red potatoes and clam chowder as appetizer. Pardon my drool. Would also recommend the lobster stew from ‘Fisherman’s Catch’.


DAYS OF RECOVERY NEEDED

Grand Cayman: Three

Wells, ME: To be determined


MOST INTERESTING SUBPLOT

Grand Cayman: The destruction still evident from Hurricane Ivan. Houses simply missing, reefs destroyed and stories of the island being submerged for nearly three days.

Wells, ME: The lack of fish. My brother in law is an avid fisherman who could probably turn pro if he wanted. He’s one of these guys that knows any fish by sight, which bait or lures will catch which kind of fish, how big each fish should be to be a ‘keeper’ and can debone any in approximately 30 seconds. He fished every day and didn’t catch anything. Charter fishing boats were coming in empty handed. Other’s fishing the beach and harbor weren’t even getting bites. Not sure if the area is just over fished or they are somewhere else, but I’ve decided to blame BP.


TELEVISION WATCHED

Grand Cayman: A Spanish language version of ‘Rocky and Bullwinkle’ that was oddly mesmerizing.

Wells, ME: My very first ‘Jersey Shore’ experience which was actually filmed in Miami and included one of my favorite moments of television: One of the Jersey chicks was arguing with another Jersey chick in a moving cab and suggested ‘You want to step outside and settle this?’ The guys are idiots, the girls are idiots and I’m fairly certain everyone involved in this show is borderline retarded. Needless to say I loved it and had my 15 year old niece get me up to speed on who was who and what phrases like ‘grenade’ and ‘landmine’ meant.


MUSIC CRANKED

Grand Cayman: Whatever the outside bar was playing which was usually Lady Gaga or one of the other nameless female singers who all sound suspiciously alike.

Wells, ME: We had AC/DC night, The National, Menomena, The Flatliners, The Menzingers, Far, Male Bonding, Jawbox were all on constant rotation. But the highlight was introducing my nephews to the bone crushing joys of Mastodon and Baroness. My ten year old nephew, who sports hair longer than all the women in our family, was instantly converted and wanted to listen every time he stopped by for a visit. Hey, if I can help one child learn the wonders of heavy metal I’ll have made the world a better place. He and the boys also enjoyed the new one from LostProphets, but I had to skip over a few songs for F-Bomb related reasons.


FUNNIEST MOMENT

Grand Cayman: Youngest doing a dance that looked suspiciously like a male stripper routine while we were eating in the lobby restaurant. We even managed to video tape it for posterity. Any future girlfriends will be sure to see this by date number four.

Wells, ME: My brother in law, still recovering from a bout of ‘hug-the-toilet-itis’ from the night before, getting a whiff of the shots of Parrot Bay coconut rum that were being passed around and instantly turning gray.

His explanation: ‘That was the last drink I had before passing out last night’.

Other brother in law who was serving the drinks: ‘NOOO, the last drink we had was the shot of limoncello

First BIL, after a long pause: ‘We had limoncello last night?’


WINNER: Me. That's all that matters.


Today’s distraction: 15 things you didn’t know about Sesame Street. I had always wondered why the adults were suddenly seeing Snuffleupagus when I saw it after a 20 year absence. Now I know. Sexual abuse. Go figure.

3 comments:

Rob said...

Man, we run in the same circles. Too bad you stay anonymous because I know we work practically next door to each other from your descriptions of the bars you frequent and the T stops, and my family spends almost every summer weekend (and a couple of weeks over 4th of July) in Wells, ME. My wife's family has a couple of homes just a block off Moody Beach. It is a wonderful place.

My blog has a Flickr page link where you can see my family at Moody Beach.

Jum said...

I almost started drooling for real while reading the food section of your post.

Glad to have you aboard for Jersey Shore. I was worried this season would ruin the magic of the first season, but it's been just as ridiculous/hilarious so far.

BeachBum said...

Rob, Moody Beach was quite the topic of conversation this past week as we go to Drake's Island and they're thinking of privatizing it (like Moody) which would suck beyond suckiness.

As for my anonimity, it's strictly for my own protection as my fan base would be harassing me on the street day and night trying to rip off my clothing and groping me inappropriately. Actually, that sounds kind of fun.

Jum, I had heard of Jersey Shore but never witnessed first hand the delightful douchiness. As much as it depresses me to admit, this may be headed for DVR programming. I've got some catching up to do.