Week two turns the week one questions into a total clusterfucks most years. It appears this year is no different.
For example, in week one the Patriots crush the Bengals in the first half, so we can assume one of two things: The Bengals suck or the Patriots are good.
The Jets look terrible against the Ravens who also look terrible on offense. We must then assume that both teams have great defenses or both offenses blow.
Only now the Ravens can’t do shit against the Bengals in week two. Therefore we are left with two possibilities: The Bengals defense isn’t as bad as it looked in week one or the Ravens offense could be historically bad.
Maybe the Patriots are just really good?
Nope. They get manhandled by the same Jets team that converted all of one first down in week one.
So what have we learned the first two weeks? I guess nothing other than Brett Favre should have stayed retired. Everything else we’re still sorting out.
- Another perfect example would be the Denver – Seattle game. Denver loses to Jacksonville in week one. Seattle crushes San Francisco. Therefore, Seattle should beat Denver. Nope. Denver trounces them and proves I wasn’t an idiot for taking Kyle Orton as my backup.
- If we are to follow this logic (or, I guess, illogic), the 49ers will beat the Saints tonight.
- I was so hoping the Jets were going to be terrible this year. Then they had to go and ruin it with a massive second half beat down of my Pats. Damn them. They not only pegged New England with their first loss, but actually looked pretty good on offense. Not a good day in my house yesterday.
- The big Manning brother still refuses to let little brother beat him. You could make a case that the Houston loss last week lit a fire under this Colts team. Anyone else think they could be 7-1 by the midway point?
- After a home loss to a questionable Bears team, how much longer does the Wade Phillips era last in Dallas?
- Kansas City is 2 – 0. I shit you not. Look it up!
- Watching a bit of the toilet bowl known as Oakland vs St Louis, I couldn’t help wondering if it would be a good thing or bad thing if Sabastian Janikowski became the Raiders’ all time leading scorer. Good since they did spend a number one pick on him but bad because you would certainly want more than field goals during an offensive series.
On the other hand, these are the Raiders and they may be happy with field goals. At least that means there wasn’t an interception thrown by their quarterback. Progress!
- I don’t care that Detroit is 0 – 2 or that Jahvid Best single handedly beat me in fantasy yesterday. The Lions are a hugely entertaining team to watch.
- And since I brought it up, my fantasy team is 0 – 2 even though I’ve scored the second most points in my league. Appears a ‘fuck me’ is in order.
- I know the Packers are supposed to be offensively explosive and efficient, but it certainly seems like they’re forcing things when they get near the end zone. Even against a terrible team like Buffalo, they came off as rattled and rushed.
- Can anyone tell me why Kerry Collins was finishing up the Titans game? I missed a big chunk of that. Was Vince terrible or did he get hurt?
- I talked my buddy into taking Joe Flacco in the third round of our fantasy draft. He had a rating of 23.8 yesterday and the new nickname ‘Succo’. I find this immensely entertaining. I also have a plan. Since he now needs a quarterback, I am going to offer him Kyle Orton for Ray Rice. Let’s see where this takes us.
- I read a quote from Viking’s head coach Brad Childress who said something along the lines of them trying to figure out what kind of team they are. ‘Are we run first, are we pass first?’ Um…excuse me Mr Childress but aren’t you the head coach of this team? Isn’t that your job to dictate what kind of team you want this to be?
Although, in his defense, after watching Favre ruin two potential touchdown drives with bad decisions he rode Peterson all the way to the goal line in the fourth quarter. The message clearly being ‘I finally know who my best player is’. Only Peterson gets stuffed on a last ditch attempt to score the winning touchdown. You had to feel bad. Nothing is working for this team.
- If you want a reminder of how monstrous Andre Johnson is just view a clip of his touchdown pass where he simply out muscles and out jumps the Redskins defender. He even made it look easy; like he was practicing against a teenager.
- I was all excited to finally started Legadu Naanee in my fantasy league and even more so when I saw the Chargers racked up 38 points. Grand total of catches for Naanee: One.
- While Vick is saying all the right things about the return of Kevin Kolb, how can the Eagles sit him after his play the past two games?
- Jimmy Clausen comes into the Tampa Bay – Carolina game, chalks up a 33.8 rating and proceeds to get the starting nod for next week? It’s going to be a long season for Panther fans.
And while we’re on the Panthers, who the fuck is Mike Goodson and why is he taking carries away from Jonathan Stewart?
Stat of the Week: Steeler QBs Charlie Batch and Dennis Dixon combined to throw for 43 yards in the entire game and they still won by eight.
Today’s distraction: To escape the Monday blahs, here are twenty two pictures from far away places. Although, I’d rather have to live Mondays every day than live in Afghanistan. Fuck that place.