Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Catchup or Katsup?

Apologies for my lack of entries.  There are several factors for why I haven't had much time to write.  Shall we count the ways?  Oh, we fucking shall, my friends.

1:  I've been sick as a dog since last Thursday.  Not sure if it's old age or more potent viruses (I say the latter), but colds and flu's just don't go away like they used to.  Normally I would be fully recovered after 2 or 3 days.  Lately it's been 4 or 5 or 6 days before I start feeling normal* again.

* Normal in this case involves normal for me.  Not normal for the rest of the human population.

2:  Since it's near the end of the year, but before the start of the holiday season, work has been kicking my ass up and down the corridors of my office.  Seriously, why does everything suddenly need to be completed in less than 24 hours?  What happened that everything needs to be done in warp speed?

I know the answer to that, by the way:  Email.  Since everyone has adopted email and Blackberries/iPhones/Droids your company and friends now expect to be in constant communication with you at ALL FUCKING TIMES!  Have you ever waited to respond to a text from a friend for more than an hour?  They act like you've slapped their mother in front of the rest of their family.  Nothing personal, friends, I just can't be at your beckoning 24 hours a day.

3:  Our furnace suddenly started vomiting ink black smoke into our house and out of our chimney.  Our house looked like a turn of the century factory until I turned off the heat.  Have you ever smelled burning oil?  It's not a good smell.  It makes you feel nauseous and toxic for days.  Since I have two children under the age of eleven, I thought it would be a good idea to get this fixed as soon as possible.

4:  We just refinanced our house at the ridiculously low rate of 4.3%.  We had done that five years ago at 5.8% and never thought we would get the rate low enough to make it worth our while.  Live and learn.  We wound up refinancing for 80 grand less than our house is worth, paid off our kitchen remodel loan AND have enough to pay off a few other things.

Like say a new furnace.

5:  Daylight savings time ended and - for reasons I can never explain - it takes me weeks to recover.  Yes, I know I gain an hour of sleep but I still lose energy and motivation for weeks following the change.  Maybe it's never seeing the sun or that fact that the temperature is 30 degrees colder than I've been used to for the past six months.  Perhaps it has nothing to do with DST and more to do with my annual winter depression.

Seriously, fuck winter.  I hate it.

Still, I always make time for my loyal readers.  Which reminds me, DA, we're over due for our monthly call.  Huh, that sounds strangely like a euphemism for pregnancy.  'My monthly call is over due, but don't tell anyone until I'm absolutely sure!'

Some random thoughts to carry you through.  Since I didn't have time for the Week 9 Postmortem, I'll include some football thoughts.

-  Last year my company replaced our CIO with some new, hip, cool, younger, highly educated CIO.  This new, hip, cool, younger, highly educated CIO just announced that he's outsourcing a majority of our department.  Well, fuck you, too.  Not sure how exactly this will affect me, but the signs aren't good.  Time to check out Monster and get my resume together.

-  Two Sundays ago Jamaal Charles combined for nearly 250 yards; most of those (180 or so) were rushing.  Heading into week nine against the 28th ranked rushing defense of the Oakland Raiders I thought to myself 'Holy shit!  Charles could top 200 yards on these guys!'  I was excited, I'll admit it.  What do the Chief coaches do?  They run plays for Charles 10 times.  Yeah, as in TEN.  Ten rushing attempts for the guy that went wild the week before.

Needless to say the Chiefs and my fantasy team went down in flames.  I officially revoke my Coach of the Year nomination for Todd Haley.  What's really frustrating is Charles still averaged over 5 yards a carry in the game.

-  My ten year old had basketball tryouts last Monday and Tuesday and - at the risk of sounding like an obnoxious, boastful parent - I couldn't have been more proud.  He aced all the drills, seemed to have fun and scored two baskets in the scrimmages.  Even better he spaced things out properly and didn't force any shots.  He had one that he held back because he was tightly guarded.

So what happens?  He doesn't make the team.  Which is fine.  It was his first time trying out and I had warned him that it's tough making it your first time.  Coaches don't really know you, you're running the try out drills the first time, etc.

What isn't fine is hearing who did make the team.  Including two boys who couldn't dribble to save their lives and another that shot the ball every single time he touched it.  I can't stress this enough, he shot (and shot it badly) every...single...time.  Including one moment where he was on the right wing at nearly NBA three point range.  If the ball hit his hands, he launched it.  I kept thinking of 'Seinfeld' and 'the chucker'.

You can say this is fatherly bias all you want, but his 10 year old friend who did make the team said to him the next weekend 'How did those guys make the team and you didn't?  Those guys are terrible!'  If a ten year old can see a problem with the team, why can't the coaches?

Because those kids were related to the coach.  That's why.  As I said to another mother 'If that's the case, why even have try outs?'

-  Wifey told ten year old he didn't make the team on Friday.  He was PISSED and seems to have inherited his father's passive aggressive tendencies.  He disappeared into the playroom to play XBox for a bit.  When he emerged an hour later he told me 'I was playing my war game and pretending all the people I was shooting were the coaches.'

Well then.

-  My biggest challenge as a father is holding back my own anger regarding injustices such as this.  I'm trying to install good sportsmanship into both my boys but it's difficult when you know things are unfair.  While I put a good face on the basketball try outs, I unleashed with Wifey as soon as they were in bed.  F-bombs were flying and things were very close to getting ugly.  Granted, it's just a sport, but he DESERVED to be on that team.  I'll get over it soon.  Promise.

-  Can't say I'm terribly surprised the Patriots lost to Cleveland.  Seems like they've been winning with smoke and mirrors.

-  I'm currently 1 - 1 with Ryan Fitzpatrick as my starting QB.  I would have won last week if Pierre Garcon had more that 2 catches Sunday night.  What a joke.  Four different Colt receivers had at least ten catches.  FOUR!  The one guy I have on my fantasy team - the number two receiver on one of the most offensive minded teams in the NFL - had two.

-  On a gamble I started Jonathan Stewart thinking he would kick ass after his Week 8 lackluster performance.  In the first quarter he had 30 yards and I was looking like a genius.  Concussion, out for the rest of the game and this week.  Insert frown face here.

-  Text from my buddy on Sunday: 'Why do I play fantasy?  It's not fun.  I am not having fun'

-  If you haven't caught up on 'The Walking Dead' I strongly suggest you do.  Only two episodes in and it's already on my list of the best shows of the year.  Fair warning:  It's violent as hell but there is a method to it's madness.  Love the twist that there is some shadow of the person left in the zombies and many are begging to be killed (or re-killed as the case may be).

- I can't be the only one enjoying the Cowboy implosion, right?

- Would it be the ultimate F-You to the Yankees if the Red Sox managed to sign Derek Jeter away from them?  It would definitely top the Yanks signing Johnny Damon, that's for sure.  By a hundred fold.

That said, I wouldn't want him in Boston for the price they'd have to pay.

-  Cliff Lee may be another issue.  He's in his early thirties and conventional wisdom says you'll be over paying for his services for too many years.  However, someone like Lee who currently has no major health issues and keeps himself in very good shape could easily pitch until he's 40.  Right?  Would a five year deal at 20 million per be THAT much of a gamble?

- Prediction:  Papelbon will not be with the Red Sox in 2011.

Signing off for now.  Let's touch base later in the week, ok?

Today's distraction:  Dude makes his own Iron Man outfits and wears them around.  These are pretty cool, actually and, since my youngest went as War Machine on Halloween, this one is for him.


Jum said...

Bizarre...yesterday at work we had a lengthy discussion on ketchup vs. catsup.

I've got seasonal depression a little bit too, I think. I stayed in sick all weekend, only left my couch for a total of like 4 hours, slept all day....and I've still been exhausted all week. Like I'm not caught up on sleep?

As someone who watches the Chiefs every week, believe me, they're winning games in spite of Todd Haley, not because of him. You know how fans always complain that teams should go for it more on 4th down? Haley is mounting a strong argument to those fans through his play calling. I've given up counting how many points he's left on the board because he went for it on 4th and 5 from the opponent's 15 yard line, seven minutes into the game. Just take the three points that early! I hate him so much.

BeachBum said...

I can defend the going for it on 4th down. My issue is he nearly always calls a passing play. Why put that play in the hands of Cassel when you have Jones AND Charles leading the best rushing attack in the country.

He did the same thing in the Raider game. When it gets close they start passing like crazy when that's their biggest weakness.

I grew up with ketchup. Catsup seems weird.

Jum said...

Exactly. If you're gonna run a slant play or a jump ball when your quarterback isn't very good, just take the effing three points.

Anonymous said...

I've only read about 1/3 of the way through this post, and I will finish reading it, but I wanted to ask you this before I forgot. Have you ever heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder?

I think you fit the bill, considering the symptoms you describe.