Tuesday, November 23, 2010

NFL and Other Thoughts

Between Vince Young, the Pats squeaking one out against the Colts, and Brad Childress being fired much too late, the alternate working title for the NFL Postmortem this week would have been 'Drama Queens'.

-  Let's tackle Vince Young first (Get it?  Tackle?  Football?).  Here is VY's last season and a half.

Last season Young gets hurt, disappears, and the Titans put out an Amber Alert on him when he goes missing.  There is seemingly legitimate concern that Young could be suicidal.  He's found safe (although there is some confusion regarding whether he had a loaded gun with him) and he later comments to the papers that he was never suicidal and doesn't know what the big deal is.

Over the summer, Young is the centerpiece of an ESPN the Magazine article about how he's turned the corner, is relaxed and more centered than ever.  He celebrates his new 'centeredness' by brawling for seemingly no good reason with security guards or bouncers at a nightclub (or something).  All of this is caught on film.

Now Sunday arrives and Young, in what seems like an angry tirade, throws his jersey (and possibly shoulder pads) into the crowd after being booed by his home fans and being told he wouldn't be re-entering the game by Jeff Fisher.  Young explains that he was simply handing his jersey to the daughter of a Titans' executive but that hardly meshes with his post game tirade to Fisher when he reportedly walks out on his team and his coach.

And, conveniently, of course, he is now out for the remainder of the season because he needs thumb surgery.

Look, I can't claim to know what Vince Young is like, but all evidence points to him being one of the following:

A:  Severely immature
B:  Pampered since the day he was born
C:  Battling some intense emotional issues that have yet to be addressed
D:  All of the above

If the Titans are smart, they get Young into counselling and make him keep at it until next season starts.  Whatever is going on there needs to be addressed before things spiral out of control.  Maybe Young will refuse, but let's hope he views this as an opportunity rather than an insult.

-  Brad Childress finally paid the ultimate price for riding the coat tails of an aging, egotistical, deluded, interception happy quarterback.  Frankly, this is way over due.  When anyone creates sympathy for Randy Moss (and, yes, Childress handled that terribly considering what Favre puts him through) there is a serious problem.

-  Two of my proudest moments of the football season occurred this past weekend.  I stuck with Ryan Fitzpatrick over Kyle Orton in fantasy and - in a packed bar no less - called the Peyton Manning game ending interception just before it happened.  Love looking smart because it happens so infrequently.

-  Do the Manning brothers practice that 'What the fuck just happened?' shrug?  You know that two arms out  and hands up when they've just thrown an interception?  Is it hereditary?  Anyone know if Archie Manning did it during his playing days?  Was glad to see the Peyton 'unsnap the helmet in disgust' move return Sunday, as well.  Always enjoy that.

-  When you are a parent all sense of self worth and ego are destroyed as soon as your child learns to speak. My youngest son comes up to me, pats my belly and says 'You need to go back to the gym, daddy'.  Fuckin' kids!

-  He is correct, however, as I have been slacking since I broke my toes back in August.  Nowhere near what I was a few years ago, but I'm taking this long Thanksgiving break to get my ass back in gear.  Ass, you have been warned.  You, too, gut.

-  My oldest son wants one thing and one thing only this Christmas:  A cell phone.  Wifey and I have been going back and forth about this since his birthday in June when he asked for the same thing.  He's 10 years old going on 20, so I think he'll be responsible enough with it, I just don't want to spend a fortune on something that he'll probably lose or break before he turns 11.

-  I am in a pickle - a conundrum even - about what to do with Miles Austin.  On one hand he's been putting up decent numbers with Kitna.  On the other he caught 2 passes for a grand total of 7 yards against Detroit, but both were touchdowns.  He's no longer the prime deep threat with Dez Bryant's coming out party still in full swing.  Still, how do I justify starting Austin when he's been targeted only five times in the past two weeks?  It's feast of famine with him, I guess.

-  Can we all agree that Philly is the best team in the NFC?  I actually think they may be the best team in the entire NFL.  They can run, pass, improvise with Vick, and play defense with the best of them.  Going to be tough to take them down.  Good thing Andy Reid is still there to blow the next playoff game.

-  Hey, you think the new Vikings coach will give the ball to Adrian Peterson more often?  Maybe taking the ball out of Favre's hands and putting it into Peterson's would be a good idea.

-  Would it surprise anyone if Favre suddenly went on a tear and didn't throw another interception for the rest of the year?  It's no secret he didn't like Childress, so maybe his play this year was a perverted way to get rid of him.  Nah, chances are Favre just sucks.

-  I would like to thank Apple for once again completely fucking me over with iTunes.  I changed computers because my last one shit the bed.  Since I couldn't 'deauthorize' the iTunesiPod dies, I'm not getting another one.  I'm getting a standard MP3 player and getting out from Apple's thumb for good.  Fuck you, Jobs!

-  Why is everyone so up in arms about this airport security?  I've gone through one of those body scanners with no hesitation and no ill effects.  In fact I got a lovely smile from the female attendant.  For those of you who feel violated or ashamed take the fucking train or drive.  Just don't fly.  This way you won't feel uncomfortable and I won't have pissy people in my way.  It's win - win.

I have a feeling this is - once again - a small but vocal minority making waves about an issue the rest of us couldn't give two shits about.  But, if by some twist of fate, these people really are against this and need to fly, I have a suggestion.  One airplane per day, in every airport around the country will have absolutely no security screening at all.  Just walking through the metal detectors is the extent of it.  No pat downs, no body scans, no back ground checks.

If these people really don't want to deal with the aggravation they can join all the other people on that plane.  I wonder how many would actually get on that plane.

I, for one, just want to go where I need to without worrying about getting blown out of the sky.  For that, I will gladly stand still for 5 seconds to confirm the size of my junk and that I have no explosives shoved up my ass.

-  I've recently switched over to using Google Chrome for my web browser and can't praise it enough.  It's faster, more stable and cleaner than Internet Explorer (which seems to crash on nearly every site I visit now).  How can Microsoft screw up something as simple as web browsing?

-  Word is it the Tigers are going to sign Victor Martinez.  You know what?  I could care less.  He seemed like a decent enough guy and was ok with the bat, but why would you sign a catcher that can't throw any runners out and goes through long slumps throughout the season?  Be curious to see how much he soaked Detroit for.  No big loss for the Sox here.

-  While we're on the subject, anyone else excited to see the Yankees over pay for Cliff Lee?  Should be happening any minute now.

-  Apparently, Joe Paterno is going to coach until he dies in the middle of a game.  My question is who has been waiting in the wings for Papa Joe to finally retire only to be sitting in the same spot for the past 70 years. That has to be frustrating.

Let's wrap this up with some Thanksgiving wishes:

DA, continue on your path to happiness and don't let that new number you arrive at tomorrow bother you.  You still look fab, I'm sure.

Jum, here's hoping the Jayhawks rebound from the dismal showing in last year's March Madness.  That and the Chiefs fire Todd Haley so you can enjoy a live NFL playoff game this season.

10 and wife, cram in as much sleep and sex as you can before your new family member arrives.

Bigs, with Childress gone I can now only hope Favre's arm comes flying off in a bloody, yet satisfying end to his bloated career.  Oh, and 2011 will be the year of the Twins.  I'm calling it now.

Trib, get back on the blogging bandwagon, will ya?  I'll have some new music to discuss next week, as well.

French, sorry dude, but the link to your dormant blog comes down today.  When you hit nearly a year without a new entry, you've depleted even my false sense of hope.  Hope things are well.

AR, I'll be getting that new music to you as soon as I can.  Promise!!!

Everyone else, thanks for reading and have a great weekend.  Rest assured I'll be drunk more than half the time.  That's what happens when I spend a lot of time with family.

Today's distraction:  Allow me to introduce you to DESTRUTOTRUCK!!!!!


Anonymous said...


I flew on four flights recently and didn't get a scan or pat down. In fact, I was blacked out coming home from Vegas and don't even remember airport security.

I remember GI Joes, riding my BMX, and setting up a tent in the backyard for sleepovers when I was ten. Phone conversations were "do you want to play legos or Super Nintendo?" followed by a yes or no. Ten just seems so young.

Anonymous said...

That comment was Bigsby.

A Tribute: deer a train and basketball said...

My bad, I will try and get on it this weekend. I've been a little busy and by busy I mean lazy.