I got my ass handed to me in a variety of ways yesterday.
Both my fantasy teams are in the process of getting crushed. Again!
I’m in an office pool in which all we need to do is pick the winners of each game. The spread isn’t even involved. I got so killed in it yesterday that I dropped from 5th to 15th place in one day. I even picked against the Pats thinking they had been exposed in Cleveland last weekend.
Thought the Vikings would manhandle the Bears.
Thought the Titans would kill the Dolphins.
Thought the Cowboys would continue quitting on the season.
Thought Denver sucking would be verified against the Chiefs. This was doubly troubling as I had Orton sitting
on my fantasy bench while watching him throw 3 touchdowns in the first quarter.
Thought for sure Detroit was going to end their road losing streak against the Bills.
Thought Seattle on the road was the easiest team to pick against the entire day.
So what did I learn yesterday? Frankly, I’m not entirely sure. Let’s run through it and see what we come up with.
- If ever there was a statement game, the Patriots shoving 39 points up the Steelers’ collective arses would certainly be the one. Even I was shocked how easily Brady picked apart that defense. So the question now is: Have the Pats set the table on how to beat this Pittsburgh team? Or was this just a bad week?
What was learned: Wes Welker can be productive without a deep threat on the same team and someone should have played Gronkowski at tight end on their fantasy team.
- I was torn watching the Bills – Lions game. On one side the Bills deserved a win. On the other, is this Lions team really deserving of the longest road losing streak in NFL history?
What was learned: Calvin Johnson may be the best receiver in the game right now and Fitzpatrick won’t put up very good numbers when his running back does what he wants against a porous defense. Something I really should have known before playing him.
- Bears 27 – Vikings 13.
What was learned: Several things –
1: Peterson would be in the running for MVP if Favre wasn’t killing his chances with his LVP performance.
2: The Bears have to be the worst 6 – 3 team in NFL history. There is no close second place.
3: If ever a look summed up an entire season, it was Mike Martz’s reaction to Cutler throwing in interception in the end zone. See if you can look it up on Youtube and have a good laugh. You’re welcome.
4: The Vikings have officially quit on Childress.
5: Cutler is still terrible. He’s a younger version of the current incarnation of Brett Favre.
- How in holy hell did Santonio Holmes break free for the game winning touchdown against the Browns? How? There was only 16 seconds left before a stupid tie became official and the Browns secondary totally botched the coverage and tackle. Mangini has to be disgusted in how that ended.
What was learned: Not much, really. Sanchez still has moments of greatness followed by moments of suckitude that makes you wonder if he’ll ever put it together.
- Watched the ending of the Jaguars – Texans and had to keep rewinding it to watch it over and over. Just fantastic.
What was learned: That even when Houston’s secondary makes the perfect play it will still result in a touchdown for the opposition.
- Is there something with the Miami grass that needs to be addressed? Not one but two of the Dolphin quarterbacks were seemingly lost to season ending injuries in the same game. And they finally won their first home game all season. Are there toxins floating around? Should someone perform an exorcism?
What was learned: Nothing! Still can’t figure either one of these teams out.
- Not only have I revoked my Coach of the Year nomination for Todd Haley, but I am now convinced he’s trying to destroy his own team. Two weeks after totally nearly 250 yards, Jamaal Charles has been given a total of 24 carries over two games. How does this make sense in any universe? 90 percent of the time Charles touches the ball, something good happens.
This trend was particularly annoying when the Chiefs had a first down and about 2 yards to go for a touchdown. So, let’s do the math here.
Two yards to go. Four tries to get there. You own the top ranked run offense in the entire NFL (or did until recently). You are playing the second worst run defense in the entire NFL. You also possess one of the most dynamic and difficult to tackle runners. What would you do?
Thomas Jones run for no gain. Another Thomas Jones run for no gain. Here’s where I think ‘They’ll put Charles in now to finish this off’. Nope, incomplete pass attempt from the half yard line (you really have to see this play call to see how ridiculous it was. Cassel was half a foot from the goal line when he let go of the ball).
Now HERE is where Charles comes in, right? Going for it on fourth down? Nope, they go for it with some dude named Battle. Stuffed at the goal line.
What we learned: The Chiefs are regressing at a shocking rate and may not win another game this season unless Haley and his staff stop getting fancy and just go with what works. This is a perfect example of statistics not telling the entire story. Cassel – by all indications – had a great day on the score sheet. But he looked terrible a lot of the time; missing open receivers, taking bad sacks at the worst time. Granted a lot of this was dictated by the lopsided score, but it’s tough to win when you force throws and go away from your strengths.
- Considering how the rest of the day was going, it sure looked like the Bengals were going to test the Colts. Then Carson Palmer remembered who he was.
What was learned: Other that if you are depending on Pierre Garcon for fantasy production in any way, you are truly fucked, not much.
- Was Dallas whooping the Giants a collective ‘Fuck You’ to Wade Phillips? I say yes.
What was learned: Dallas can actually try and Dez Bryant is going to be a beast next season.
Fantasy aside: My five receivers are Danny Amendola, Steve Johnson, Miles Austin, Pierre Garcon and Lance Moore. Since we use a flex spot (RB or WR), I can use three of them at one time. Here’s the crazy thing: At the start of the year I thought I was in good shape with Austin and Garcon as my every week starters. Now I’m seriously considering Amendola and Johnson as my guys. Garcon has had one good game all year and Austin has been useless since week 4. He had good numbers yesterday, but only because he caught a touchdown. Otherwise he was only thrown to twice all game.
Would anyone have thought that Steve Johnson and Danny (aka WHO??!!) Amendola would be more viable fantasy options than Garcon and Austin? This just proves fantasy if gambling in its truest form. Nobody can predict anything.
- Don’t look now but San Fran is 3 – 6, in a shitty division that is still wide open and could legitimately pull a playoff spot out of their asses before everything settles down.
What we learned: Since we all knew the NFC West was a shit division, nothing at all.
Stat of the Week: If the season ended today, the 7 – 2 Patriots would travel to Oakland to play the 5 – 4 Raiders in the first round of the playoffs.
Today’s distraction: Random, strange shots from Google Streets. Somehow the Volkswagen Bus burning in the street is poetic.