Tuesday, December 7, 2010


Allow me to make the joke for you:

This blog should be renamed ‘BeachBum’s Occasional Diversions’.

Sorry, but I’ve been busy! Not only is work picking up at the exact time of year when things are supposed to slow down, but I’ve been bettering myself through education. I’ve been taking some classes in an attempt to get certified for some technical mumbo jumbo bullshit (what’s that acronym? STMJBS?)

Luckily for you loyal readers (all three of you), I have time to jot down some notes today.

- Let’s start with the news I’m MOST excited about: A certain Adrian Gonzalez becoming part of Red Sox Nation! Theo and company have been after him for years and finally managed a deal with the Padres to get him to Boston. While I’m confused why it suddenly only took 3 prospects to finalize the trade after all this time (what changed with the Padres?) and I spent Sunday bemoaning the rumors that the deal might fall apart at the last minute (ala Mark Tiexeira), I haven’t been this thrilled with a Red Sox move since….

…well, I can’t remember when. When we first signed Manny? Let’s go with that.

Spring training can’t come soon enough!

- I’m also riding high off the Patriots utter destruction of a supposedly championship caliber Jets team. Neither Sanchez’ nor Rex Ryan’s finest hour last night. I always enjoy watching big mouths get slapped around. That it was the Pats doing the bitch slapping made it that much more enjoyable.

I watched some of the pre game hubbub (how can ‘experts’ talk about one game for so long?) on ESPN and our local channel in Boston and became increasingly frustrated with most analysts view of the Patriots defense as one of the worst. Yes, statistically it is, but – and this is where these talking heads miss the bigger picture – this secondary is extremely young and has been playing much better as the season has progressed. With the secondary playing better, the front line is becoming more effective. So yes, the Pats do have a statistically awful defense up to this point, but they have improved week by week and not one person who spent all this time analyzing these two teams mentioned it.

- My crowning achievement this past weekend was scoring a PERFECT gift for Wifey. I give you the ColorNOOK. It’s one of those eReader things she’s been wanting for a while, only it has a web browser (so she can go on Facebook and tell everyone she got a new ColorNOOK), Pandora’s music service, and a number of free apps available from the Barnes and Noble site. That’s right, it’s more like an iPad than an eReader but it only costs half of what the iPad does ($250). Nothing puts a hop in your step than knowing you’ve picked out the exact right thing. And it wasn’t at the last minute for once! Will wonders never cease?

- Eldest son is asking for a cell phone for Christmas this year so tonight Wifey and I are heading to Verizon to see what sort of deal we can get. If we can score him a freebie while changing to a family plan, he’ll think we’re the greatest parents ever. And he’d be correct.

- There is also some controversy surrounding one of his other requests. He has ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’ on his list and I initially told him he could remove it. I refuse to get a ten year old any game rated M. I allow T (for Teen) occasionally, but never an M game even though he insists on asking every time. Well, this weekend the new ads come in the Sunday Globe and he points out that the game for Xbox 360 is rated T. I check another ad and find it rated M for the Playstation. So what gives? Are there two different ratings for the same game? Does it depend on the system? Are they releasing an M and T rated version? I’m like my father finally: totally confused about what my son is asking for Christmas. Only took 43 years, but I made it.

- I’m considering a Droid. Either the HTC Incredible or the Droid X. Any advice out there on either of these? Currently using a Blackberry but the screen is beginning to flicker and flash.

- Just realized it’s December! Time to get cracking on my annual Year End Review. Unfortunately, I’ll be in DC for the next five days, so I may not have time to get to it until late next week. Stupid work.

- Rumor has it that the Red Sox offered Marino Rivera a three year deal. Can you imagine if they pulled that off?

- Thirty two year old Jason Werth gets a seven year, hundred billion dollar deal for two decent years in Philly? I’m officially putting all my retirement funds on getting my two boys into baseball full time. If I have to move to Texas, so be it.

By the way, this deal will look catastrophic in two years, never mind seven.

- I’ve been away from Saturday Night Live for a few years, but have returned thanks to my DVR. While I’ve only seen a few bits from previous seasons, I think I’m safe declaring this year an unmitigated disaster. Last week wasted Robert Deniro, Robin Williams, Ben Stiller, and an hour of my life. There are sparks here and there, but mostly the skits are dreadful. What the fuck is going on?

- Want another reason to push your boys into baseball? Check out these pics from Big Papi’s charity golf tournament in the Dominican Republic. The first ten in particular show the wives of Papi, Pedroia and Darnell McDonald. I have only two words: Holy shit!

- Apparently WikiLeaks is causing world wide panic with all these confidential documents they’re posting on their site. While I can understand some concern, shouldn’t governments be required to operate with transparency? Democratic countries in particular have a duty to let their citizens know what they’re up to, right? We elected them, we pay their salaries.

Besides, why are they so upset that it’s leaked that Obama was pissed at certain countries because they still fund terrorist organizations or aren’t helping out? Don’t we want to know that stuff? If anything, it makes me feel better that Obama and the U.S. is still working tirelessly to prevent another terrorist attack anywhere in the world. Seems most of this ‘confidential’ information is mostly common sense anyway.

- Put up the Christmas Tree over the weekend and had the boys decorate it. All the ornaments are clumped together from my chest level down. As it does every year, Wifey’s obsessive compulsive disorder took over and she rearranged them all so they’re perfectly organized. Nothing trumpets in the holiday season better than a woman raging against clutter.

- What in holy hell is going on with the Redskins? Shanahan comes in and openly questions Haynesworth conditioning. Things start off ok, but sour when Shanahan benches Donovan McNabb because he was out of shape.  As a reward for getting benched and being out of shape McNabb signs a five year, 70 million dollar extension.

Next Haynesworth doesn’t dress for a game. He says it was coach’s decision or illness depending on who you talked. Now Shanahan turns around and suspends Haynesworth for the rest of the season. Without pay!

If you take into account the way Shanahan left Denver, there has to be some serious appreciation given for his ability to submarine his own team. He did the same thing with Jake Plummer halfway through his last season there and named Jay Cutler starter. Things quickly went south for the team from there.

Putting Shanahan together with Haynesworth probably wasn’t a great idea no matter which way you spin it, but I’ll side with the coaches on this one. Some reports are saying that Haynesworth wasn’t sick but hungover on the Friday before practice which is why he was benched for Sunday’s game.

The only two things I know for certain: Shanahan will not win coach of the year and there will never be another 100 million dollar contract in NFL history.

- Tomorrow night is our company holiday party and you can expect many many many many beers to be consumed by yours truly. Last year there was more money left over than the company expected so a buddy and I ordered a few very expensive shots of whiskey that tasted wonderful. I should be rich. I certainly enjoy the lifestyle.

Until next time, friends. Not sure when that will be, but soon.

Today’s distraction: T-Mobile sponsored some singers to greet travelers at Heathrow International Airport. Further proof that life is better with music.


Jum said...

Gonzo! Crawford! Holy crap!

BeachBum said...

No shit! It will get better because the Yanks are basically forced to over pay to get Cliff Lee now, too. When he's 38 and making 25 million with a 5.21 ERA I'll be a happy man.