Thursday, January 27, 2011

Goings On

Two weeks ago Mother Nature shit two feet of snow on Boston.

A few days later she pissed another five inches down our necks.

This morning, she's rubbing our noses in another foot while (probably) cackling like the wicked witch she is.

When I finished shoveling this morning, I looked at Wifey and said 'I'm thinking of two words.  Can you guess what they are?'

She answered 'Rum and Coke?' which was an EXCELLENT guess, but it was only 10 am and I was still shaking and sweating from my workout.

'No.  Fuck winter!  Those were the two words I was thinking.'

'You think that a million times a day,' she replied, which just proves she knows me better than anyone. 

Let's get caught up, shall we?

-  If all goes as it's currently going (see below for how that might change), I'll be taking my talents on the road.  Unfortunately, I have no discernible talent other than being impervious to hangovers and South Beach is not factoring into any travel plans. 

In two weeks I'll be visiting my second favorite city:  Chicago!  I believe Trib is around that area, so maybe I'll run into him at some posh, rich guy hangout that I could never get into or - more likely - at some random dive joint where a new thrash metal band is trying to catch a break.  That actually sounds fun. 

In March I'll be in Minnesota for nearly a fucking week.  Who lives in Minnesota?  Bigs?  10?  If I have time off from that stupid project, we should meet for beers. 

Don't ask me how I get roped into this stuff.  Chicago in February, Minnesota in March, one time I was sent to Phoenix in August.  I'm being punished, I'm sure, I just don't know for what. 

-  Speaking of Chicago, one of the aspects of this Jay Cutler controversy is something not one person has mentioned:  If Cutler came back into the game, wouldn't he have HURT the Bears' chances of winning?  Seemed to me that Heine (sp?) more than outplayed Cutler.  I'll bet everyone in Chicago had no issue with Cutler sitting out the second half. 

-  A thought repeated over and over in my head while watching the Jets play the Steelers.  It was 'where the fuck was this team last week?'  It sure seemed like the Jets main goal was to knock the Patriots out of the playoffs.  After that they were on cruise control. 

-  Finally got around to watching 'Inception' which is the first movie to have three action sequences going on at the exact same time.  I need to watch it again, because I'm convinced I missed something.  Let's give it up to Christopher Nolan, while we're on the subject.  He's created the most brain draining movie of our generation ('Memento'), one of the greatest comic book movies of all time ('The Dark Knight'), one of the most elaborate action movies ever ('Inception') and one of the more under appreciated films of the past 10 years ('Insomnia').  Already his body of work is rivaling the greats.  Chalk another one up for DiCaprio, too!

-  Keep an eye on Edgar Wright, as well.  'Shaun of the Dead', 'Hot Fuzz', and now 'Scott Pilgrim vs the World'.  The man knows how to entertain me while creating some of the most original (and demented) worlds in film.  Can't wait to see what he does next. 

-  Last night I get home from work to find my neighbor hanging out, glass of wine in hand.  Greetings are exchanged and she says 'We're here because there is a bird in our house'.  I still have boots and coat on, stop, look from neighbor to Wifey as they look hopefully back at me. 

'Do you want me to go over?'

'Would you mind?   Thank you so much!' 

Over I go with her and it takes us 10 minutes just to find the stupid thing.  It was under the couch which I lifted up for her to look under, but it was gone.  Apparently it couldn't fly because I found it under their shoe rack, just sitting quietly, hoping nobody would see it.  When we tried to scoop it up, it would run and half flap it's wings but never get off the ground. 

It tucked itself in a corner behind one of the cabinets and just when we thought it had bested us, I suggested squirting it with something.  What followed was an epic battle with a half winged, tiny sparrow that nearly destroyed her house.  Even hurt birds are super quick and can get in the tiniest of cracks. Not helping matters was their stupid cat (who brought the thing into the house in the first place).  At one point, the bird got into the fireplace behind the wood burning stove.  After several attempts to reach it, I suggested 'You know, maybe we should just let the cat finish the thing off'.

We let the cat out of the bathroom, it goes over to the bird and just stares at it.  Doesn't do a thing.  Stupid animal.  We put the cat back in the bathroom, get a broom, lay flat on the floor and sweep the thing out from the fireplace.  Panicked the bird runs to the worst possible place: The kid's toy room.  It was a nightmare.  So many places for a tiny bird to hide.  We finally found it inside a toy and just carried it outside where it probably froze to death and is now buried under a foot of snow.  Hey, survival of the fittest, right?

-  The bird was just icing on the proverbial cake for these neighbors.  Her husband told me he came home the night before and noticed all the snow and ice were gone from his stairs.  Normally one would think 'great!'.  He thought 'Oh shit' as he had seen this happen before when his pipes froze.  This time the dishwasher connection snapped off and water was gushing into the house the entire time he and his wife were at work.  The basement had a foot of water in it and the over flow washed out the kitchen door and down their front stairs.  To make matters worse, they had just finished renovating their kitchen and now have to replace the floor.  Again. 

When he got things shut off, he calls a plumber and his insurance company.  While he's on the phone he goes back to the kitchen and finds his two boys playing like they're in a water park.  I do believe a new word that begins with 'F' was learned at that moment. 

-  I'm putting a full court press on getting a new job.  I have an interview scheduled for Monday and another phone interview for Wednesday.  The great part of looking while employed is knowing you can  hold out for a perfect job.  I want it in the same general area (love Boston) with the same general flexibility I enjoy now.  It won't be easy, but it's time.  That's why the Minnesota trip may not be happening.  If I am offered something great, I'll have to take it. 

-  The reason I'm hoping to leave is my manager was just let go.  If that's not a warning shot across my bow, I'm not sure what is.  The guy that took his place knows little to nothing of what I do.  He equates me to the bozos he works with in his office while I do much more than that.  With the possibility of outsourcing on it's way, I'm not waiting for the axe to fall.  Get out while the getting's good, right?

So, if you know of anyone who wants to hire a functional alcholic who uses work time to keep internet strangers semi entertained, keep me in mind. 

Needless to say, it's going to be super busy for me the next few weeks.

I'll keep in touch when I can. 

Today's distraction:  How I would love to go out from my current job.  'I'm Rick James, bitch!'


Rob said...

The kids playing in the flooded kitchen is a priceless image you put in my head. So great.

Good luck with the job hunt.

My wife's PR company is hiring like crazy. If you're in PR and have any bio science experience, you're a shoe-in.

kos said...

This is trib, I deleted my blog since I was never posting. "or - more likely - at some random dive joint where a new thrash metal band is trying to catch a break," that's where you can usually find me. When in February are you coming, maybe we can meet for a beer, or 30?

BeachBum said...

Rob, I'm what's commonly referred to as 'The IT Guy'. And yes, I laughed when he told me about his kids jumping around in the flooded kitchen, too. Gotta love 'em.

Trib, tentatively planning on the week of the 8th, but it depends on when the equipment I need to install gets delivered. Would love to meet up for a beer if I have time. You over by the Navy Pier area by any chance?

kos said...

I work downtown at the CBOT, so I am pretty close. There are a ton of great bars, so I'm sure we can work something out.

Clayton Bigsby said...

It would depend on where you're going to be in Minny. I'm actually on the border in ND. Minneapolis/St. Paul is a 4.5 hour drive.

BeachBum said...

Trib, sweet! Hopefully the project won't kill any chances of getting out. I'm only there for one night, but one night should be more than enough. We'll have to figure out how to get in touch.

Bigs, I'll be 20 minutes outside Minneapolis (Bloomington? or something like that).

Clayton Bigsby said...

Bloomington is right by the airport and where the MOA is. It's a little south of downtown Minneapolis I guess. If you were going to be on Moorehead or something closer it would work. Me and 10 are very far away. Too bad you're not going to be here when it's nice, you could see Target Field.

kos said...

You can email me at and we can exchange numbers if that works best for you.

BeachBum said...

Sweet! Just fired off an email to you.