Monday, February 28, 2011

Get Lost!

Random thoughts while waiting for this bitch February 2011 to be gone forever. 

-  I realized (far too late) that the Oscars is a show practically created for the DVR.  Perhaps the DVR was invented for shows like the Oscars would be a better way to phrase it.  Would have loved to zip past that uncomfortable and awkward Kirk Douglas supporting actress presentation.  How old, exactly, is too old for a man in Hollywood?  I know - he's a legend.  But that's Hollywood-speak for 'best work is far behind him'.

-  What was the over/under for the number of Anne Hathaway outfit changes?  Whatever it was, over won in a land slide. 

-  Was I the only one shocked by how hot Cate Blanchett looked?  She gets better looking every time I see her. 

-  What exactly is the hold Oprah has on females?  Hathaway introduced her with overly lavish praise; even mentioning that it was a pleasure just to 'share the air she breathes'.  Oprah is a fucking talk show host.  What am I missing here?  Does male DNA somehow protect me from her charms?

-  At 10:30pm I realized I had nothing invested in any of the awards.  I knew Inception would win the technical awards, I knew King's Speech would win Best Picture, I knew Melissa Leo and Natalie Portman and Christian Bale would win.  Frankly, I was bored.  Where were the upsets last night? 

-  Here is the second finalist for 'Least Surprising Revelation of the 2011'.  The first being every Charlie Sheen story, of course. 

-  New show recommendation:  The Chicago Code.  Comes on just after House and has - so far - kept me interested and entertained.  I can't help but wonder how native Chicagians (what is the term for people from Chicago?  Chicagoans?  Chicago-ians?) are taking to it since the entire police force and political establishment seem to be corrupt. 

-  After watching the reaction the Celtics had towards the Kendrick Perkins trade, I am torn.  On one hand I like that they are a tight knit group.  On the other, I don't know if I can root for a team that cry like babies when something doesn't go their way.  This is the digital age.  They can still text, call, Skype, Tweet, or Facebook Perkins 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Get over it and play ball. 

-  Hey, the Knicks beat the Heat in a meaningless regular season game.  According to New Yorkers this makes them the best team in the history of the NBA.  Everyone else should just pack up for the summer. 

-  I had my Jimmer ticket punched over the weekend when he launched a nearly half court shot with a flick of the wrist.  I uttered 'No way!' as he launched it.  Nothing but net.  Fraudette could be the best pure shooter I've ever seen but take a look at what he did to beat SD on Saturday.  He scored 43 against them last time and still scored 25 (or so) Saturday, but he moved the ball - piling up nine assists - which shows he can adjust and takes what the defense gives him.   I'm fully on the Jimmer Bandwagon. 

-  The 2011 Red Sox season is off to a roaring start.  Really?  This happened in batting practice?  Was Beckett crowding the plate?  Sorry, still gun shy from last year's barrage of injuries. 

Shit, work is now calling.  Mondays blow. 


Today's distraction:  As a tribute to Charlie Sheen, here are 19 Celebrity Meltdowns

Thursday, February 24, 2011

A Touch Green

While I was getting ready to put together my guide for visiting Boston (hint: there are a lot of pubs listed in it for some strange reason), this bombshell dropped.

If you're too lazy to click the link, the Celtics basically blew up their team by trading Kendrick Perkins, Nate Robinson, Luke Harangody (who I was quickly falling in love with), Marquis Daniels, and Semih Goobledygook for spare change, a restricted free agent, and a center who plays zero defense. 

The details:

Perkins and Robinson go to the Thunder.  The Celtics get Jeff Green (restricted free agent after this season) and Nenad Krstic who, while a much better offensive player, is nowhere near the anchor Perkins was at center.  Krstic is more like the hole in the dingy that keeps widening while the rest of the crew bails water. 

Harangody and Semih were sent to Cleveland (known in NBA circles as The Dark Side) to be Baron Davis' gun bag carriers.  In return the Celtics get a second round pick. 


Yeah, not even done.  Marquis Daniels, who was playing better than ever before suffering a bizarre and serious spinal cord injury was traded for cash. 

My initial reaction:  What the fuck???!!!  Perkins may not be an offensive juggernaut, but he was well liked, a defensive and rebounding monster and one of those rare players that could affect the game in ways that didn't appear in the box score.  I'm convinced the Celtics would have hung banner 18 had he not gone down with a knee injury in Game Six of the Finals last spring.

Robinson was also loved by his team mates, but from a basketball standpoint, he was replaceable.  Harangody and Semih are both very promising rookies who busted their asses and made the most of the limited minutes they had. 

Here's what confuses me.  With the O'Neals both hurt (Shaq and Jermaine) the Celtics were rumored to be going after more big men.  Instead they jettisoned the three (Perkins, Semih and Harangody) who were the most effective the past two months.  Now they are left with Garnett, Krstic, and the O'Neals. 

So what gives?  Is there another move coming?  Are they luring Robert Parish out of retirement? 

Yes, I like Jeff Green (who was drafted by the Celtics then traded for Ray Allen), but he may be gone after this season.  Krstic I have no clue about, but he better endear himself to the Boston fans quickly or things will turn ugly for him in a hurry.  The jettisoning of the other players certainly seems like there is something else in the works.  Maybe some big is getting bought out of his contract?  Maybe the Celtics have some free agent rookie they're high on?

Whatever is going on, let's just focus on the trade.  The Thunder get a monster defensive presence that knows how to rebound and get the fast break going in a hurry.  They also get a bench spark in Robinson who could also play well with Westbrook at the two guard.  It certainly seems like OKC is a more diverse, tough and capable team today then they were yesterday.

The Celtics get a capable scorer in Green who will probably get fewer shots playing with Pierce, Allen, and Garnett and a big question mark to plug in the middle. 

Maybe this will be great move in the long run.  Maybe the Celtics know Perkins' knee will never be the same and figured they'd sell high.  Maybe Green will sign long term since he has the perfect name to play here.  Maybe Krstic will turn out to be phenomenal all around player. 

But right now, Celtic fans are now hanging their hopes on the return of a 38 year old Shaq and red flags are flapping wildly in the Boston air.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


It's time to break down the long weekend old school style.  By that I mean my old school, not necessarily anyone else's.  I march to my own guitarist.  Or trumpeter.  Whatever. 

First, C, just saw your comment and you'll be right in my neck of the woods.  Right on the harbor, near some great places to visit and enjoy.  I'll get that post together later this week.  Also, I just finished watching LAST week's good wife with the Kalinda revelation (post Blake broken ribs).  My theory about Blake, by the way...he's undercover FBI.  That's why FBI chick (who is smoking hot) is playing dumb about him.  How could she have never heard of him when he's supposedly this involved?  Something stinks. 

Let's get to this.  My coffee is half drunk, my scrumdeli-icious blueberry muffin is sitting comfortably in my belly and work is quiet.  Let's knock this out. 

Highlight:  Went to Vermont to visit my brother in law and his two boys who get along famously with my own.  Basically, we drink and play cribbage and joke around while the kids are outside sledding or in the basement playing XBox.  The great thing about his place is - like nearly every place in Vermont - it's in the middle of nowhere.  We don't have to worry about traffic or kids getting lost.  It's just one house in the middle of 20 acres.  Our biggest concern would be a bear, but they're still hibernating, so fuck it.  Go have fun, boys!

Lowlight:  The temperature was -10 with the wind chill.  That put a limit on what outdoor activities could occur and how long they could last.  Still they had fun and I got to drink beer uninterrupted.  That's all that matters.

Highlight:  One of the nearby mountains (forget the name) had a 'torch run' which was one of the most spectacular things I've ever seen.  About 75 - 100 skiers came down the mountain holding flares.  Very cool. 

Lowlight:  By this time the temperature was 20 below and I was hating life.  Even worse, when we got inside there were so many rude, inconsiderate people I was about to haul off and punch someone.  I don't care if it was a kid or an adult.  People would just shove past you without an excuse me or apology.  Twice my five year old was knocked over and one other time elbowed in the head.

Highlight:  Five year old gave such a dirty look to the woman who elbowed him she took a step back and immediately apologized.  He kept giving her the dirty look, rubbed his head and walked away without a saying a word.  My boy!!

Quick sidenote:  My oldest told me that five year old was playing after school during his first week of kindergarten.  This is the time of day where everyone is running around crazy after being cooped up in school.  Eldest says that some younger kid was giving youngest a hard time, so my youngest got right in his face and told him to knock it off.  The other kid went to give him a push when my son knocked his hand away and shoved him first.  This prompted the other boy's nine year old brother to come over and threaten my youngest.  So now two against my one with one being twice his age and size. 

My youngest looks both of them in the eye and says 'Yeah?  Come near me and I'll knock both your heads off.'  Both boys look at each other, look at my five year old and quietly walk away.  While I have no idea if this is exactly how it happened, I can totally see my youngest pulling this off.  The kid has no fear of anything. 

I asked my eldest what happened after that, he said 'Nothing.  He just went back to playing like nothing had happened.'  When I asked him why he wasn't sticking up for his little brother he answered 'I was going to, but he really didn't need me.'

Highlight:  Learning yet another study has concluded that moderate drinking 'is associated with a reduced risk of multiple cardiovascular outcomes'.  Boo YEAH!!!

Lowlight:  That consuming 12 beers in one night is not considered 'moderate' by anyone other than myself.

Highlight:  The stunning views along route 89 in Vermont.  Beautiful, snow covered mountains on all sides. 

Lowlight:  The 70 mile an hour winds blowing cars all over the highway.  At one point I felt the car attempt to lift off the ground and had visions of a Daytona like airborne crash dance through my head.   

Highlight:  Things are suddenly moving quickly on the job front.  I have a second interview scheduled for Friday, a follow up call I need to place after a two hour marathon session (which is usually a good thing), and just received a call for an initial screening for a job that really looks interesting. 

Lowlight:  None of these jobs are even remotely close to Boston.   I really like working in the city and would prefer to keep it that way.  We'll see.....

Highlight:  Two Celtics in the final round of the three point contest. 

Lowlight:  Both losing to some no name from the Heat.  Let's hope this is the last loss the Celtics get from anything Miami related. 

Highlight:  Getting to watch the slam dunk competition and All Star Game. 

Lowlight:  Blake Griffin's dunking over a car instantly becoming the most over rated dunk of all time.  Was I the only one unimpressed?  Looked like a simple alley oop to me.  Yeah, there was a car there, but so what?  As I said to my brother in law at the time; 'The only way this would be impressive is if he jumps over the roof of the car'.

At the same time, that three ball dunk from the Wizards dude is totally unappreciated.  The degree of difficulty on that was much higher than he made it look. 

Since I'm on a roll, they need to go back to the old format for the dunk contest.  It's less impressive when a guy finally makes a dunk after four failed attempts.  Give them five dunks each, count them as soon as they leave the ground, then take the top 3 scores to determine who advances.  Giving them two minutes to complete one dunk is lame. 

Lowlight:  Watching Kobe overtly gunning for the single game All Star scoring record.  Shit like that is why people will always despise him. 

Highlight:  The constant booing all Celtic players received whenever they were on the court.  Ray Allen and Paul Pierce were verbally accosted during the three point contest and they loved every minute of it.  I really hope the Lakers and Celtics meet in the Finals again.  This time with every Celtic healthy. 

Highlight:  A man's love for his dog knows no limits.

Lowlight:  Apparently that means his one year old grand daughter who was attacked not once, but twice by the dog.  The owner is still putting up a fight to not have the dog euthanized which just proves he would rather have a dog who mauls little kids than a grand daughter. 

Highlight:  Trades dropping left and right in the NBA.  Carmelo to the Knicks, now Deron Williams to the Nets.  I actually think the Nets got better while the Knicks have - once again - painted themselves in a corner. 

Lowlight:  Another spoiled athlete - in this case Carmelo - getting his way.  That and the entire Jerry Sloan debacle seems to have been for nothing.  Wonder if he'll come back now that Williams is gone?

Highlight:  You finally get a new entry from me.  Apologies for being sporadic.  Between my schedule and lack of inspiration, I've been having trouble with this space.  Will try to do better. 

Today's distraction:  Don't listen to the little rabbit

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Yeah, I know.

All three of you reading this are thinking ‘What the fuck, dude?’ or ‘Where you been?’ or ‘Where’s my bag of weed?’ or, more likely, ‘This blog is still active?’

What can I say, I'm suddenly a busy man.

I’m nothing if not fair, though, so here are some mini entries to get us caught up. Each will have their own title so as not to cause confusion. I know my readers can be easily confused.

Ice Melt

One of the under reported horrors of winter is the inevitable melting of snow hiding all the shit that it buried months ago. Yesterday Boston hit 50 degrees and now the corpses of long discarded Christmas trees, the skeletal remains of fallen branches, sodden litter and broken umbrellas are visible everywhere.

What’s worse is the snow is black and disgusting. All the sand and salt is piled up on the sidewalks and gutters of the streets. It’s nasty and will remain so until all the snow has melted and the street sweepers get out and take care of their business.

In the meantime, how much of this gets washed into the sewers and out into the harbors and rivers?

Chicago, Chicago

My over night trip to Chicago was a success in one way, a failure in another.
My project went perfectly and I was in and out without a snag. Although it was snowing again when I was flying out of Boston and had nightmares of my being stuck at Logan for hours. Fortunately, it had turned to mostly rain by mid morning and I was off without incident.

My in flight entertainment to Chicago was ‘The American’ with George Clooney which I would recommend mainly because it has a TORRID sex scene, plenty of nudity of the female variety and sudden, graphic violence.

Once I got there, contact was made with Kos who blew me off because he ran out of tampons or something. He was actually sick, but it’s guy code to bust another guy when he wouldn’t meet you for drinks. I’m betting he was actually getting laid by some smoking hot chick which is the only way not meeting me for beers is excusable.

That and the stomach bug. I want no part of that.

In flight entertainment going back to Boston was ‘Machete’ which, if you like over the top violence and 70’s style exploitation movies, I can’t recommend enough. It even has Steven Seagal as a fat, bad guy. It was nice to see Ana Lucia and Captain Frank reunited in the same movie, as well. When the first few minutes of a movie contains multiple decapitations and a cell phone hidden in a female’s privates, I’m all in for the remainder. I’m pretty sure that’s written down somewhere.

Job Hunt

Have had multiple phone interviews, a few face to face interviews, but there has yet to be a job that I really want. One was close, but it was on the south shore and I would have had to drive through Boston to get there. Using calculations from my trip home from the interview, it would have taken me approximately FOR-FUCKING-EVER to commute home.

Had an interview on Friday for a favorable position, but during the process more than one person dropped that the company had about 11 months of money left to operate on. Not exactly selling the company, guys.

A buddy of mine just emailed me that his company has an opening so will follow up with that, but things are still tough out there. The economy may be recovering, but it seems that the ones benefiting are the ones that fucked everyone over in the first place.

Good for them.

The Visitor

Just after Christmas, there was a scrabbling sound in the ceiling in our bedroom. I was awake at 5 am pounding on it, yelling at whatever was in there to shut the fuck up. The next day I got mouse traps and set them around the house and in the basement.

I caught nothing.

We get two feet of snow and we haven’t heard a sound. I’m thinking whatever it was left the house in the morning and got buried or trapped out there. Or maybe it just died. I didn’t much care other than it was no longer borrowing through the wood in my house.

Yesterday I get out of the shower and I hear the fucker again. Only he (or it) is in the wall now.

This raises several questions:

1: How has this thing survived this long? It’s not taking any food from the traps or from our kitchen. I’ve left crumbs here and there to see if they’re gone the next morning.

2: How is it getting so far up into our house? Is it a bird? Definitely not loud enough to be a squirrel. If it’s a bird, that would explain how it feeds but how is it getting in and out? I did a walk around and there are no gaps I can see along the eaves of the house.

3: Where has it been for the past two months? Hibernating?

One thing I know for sure – this rodent will not be long for this world. I’ve drilled into that ceiling before and will do so again.

Of course you know…this means war!

Today’s distraction: Classic ads for current products. Maybe it’s just me…

Monday, February 7, 2011

Weekend Update

While still recovering from a booze and sport fueled, fun fest of a weekend, here are some random thoughts to keep you occupied and/or concerned for my well being.  Super Bowl thoughts are at the bottom if you don't care about my life.  Can't blame you for that one bit. 

-  Took my oldest boy to the Celtics - Mavericks game Friday night only to have Jason Kidd of all fucking people break his poor little heart.  You bastard, Kidd!!  Didn't you know there was a 10 year old in the stands hoping you would miss?  How could you?  Fortunately, son number one is a lot like me and bounces back quickly.  You can certainly tell the Celtics are an old....oh....excuse me...veteran team.  They look sluggish on the second night of back to back games and after long road trips.  Friday was no exception with them just coming home after more than a week out west. 

-  Throughout that Friday game, I was becoming increasingly frustrated with Rondo, who would have what appeared to be a wide open layup only to see him pass it off to a team mate at the last second.  Quite a few of those times, the team mate on the receiving end messed up the layup or fumbled the pass out of bounds.  I kept saying to my son, 'Rondo needs to take those shots.  The opposing teams know he likes to pass off now'.  Yesterday, Rondo scored 26, mostly on layups.  Nice to know he learns and changes his game as is needed. 

-  Saturday I had to climb out on my back roof and clear off two feet of snow.  This is no small roof and I was soaked with sweat by the time I was done.  On the plus side I had a great view of the Boston skyline and made a new neighbor friend who was shoveling off his roof from a few blocks away.  We chatted a bit from afar.  It's a good thing we were out there, too, as it rained (including thunder and lightning!) all that night.  My roof would have caved in under all that weight. 

-  Saturday night, Wifey and I had a rare night out.  We were invited to a friend's house for a 'cocktail party' which I discovered was an adult phrase for 'drink fest'.  I somehow got stuck chatting with a lovely lady who was so full of shit, I could smell it coming out her pores.  With no prior warning (as I said to Wifey afterwards, 'Thanks for that heads up'), she dropped this line: 'Not having a nine to five job, I can't imagine how people do it.'

Here's a tip:  When someone drops an open ended statement like this and you don't know this person at all, do not under any circumstances ask 'What do you do for work?'

This is what I asked out of politeness and was barraged with so much bullshit I nearly drowned in it.  This lovely lady (and, actually, she was very friendly and sociable and I enjoyed talking to her) told me she was an 'internet entrepreneur' and 'a thought processor' which I thought meant she scoured EBay for cheap deals.  Nope, she sells herself as someone who can 'help you take that next step' towards you making money at something you are 'passionate about' or 'love to do'. 

As she put it, 'I honestly believe that if you love to do something, there is a way to make money at it'.  First, when people use the phrase 'honestly believe' in their vocabulary, I immediately keep my guard up.  How could you believe anything if it weren't honest? 

Anyway, I challenge her with 'I love to drink beer.  Other than returning my empties, how can I make money at that?'  She answers, 'You can make it!' all proud of herself.  I reply, 'Yes, but I'm lazy and don't want to make beer, I only like drinking it'.  This led to a back and forth that was interrupted when Wifey realized what I was involved in.  Suddenly, she sprang the 'we should get going' in order to save me. 

-  On the ride home, Wifey filled me in on this chick.  She's still single, always in debt, supposedly always has 'that next big thing' ready to hit, yet never seems to make any progress on any of her projects.  When I asked why our friends hung out with her, Wifey explained that she was more a 'friend of a friend'.  That's when it hit me that this girl is always 'on'.  She may not live a nine to five life, but in many ways, that is worse.  She came to the party not to socialize or relax, but to sell herself to any new person she met.  In this case, it was me.  Nine to five ain't so bad if you like what you do and can leave things at work.  If you're constantly on the prowl for new jobs it's difficult to move that switch to 'Idle'. 

-  By the way, Kos, I'm on for tomorrow night if you'll be around.  Although there is some small storm arriving over night so not sure if that's going to fuck up my travel plans or not.  Supposedly Boston isn't going to get much snow (less than an inch).  I'll send you a text when I get settled in Chicago. 

On to some Super Bowl thoughts. 

-  First, congrats to the Packers.  I find it increasingly difficult to dislike any Green Bay team.  Such a small market, but they manage to keep themselves relevant with good drafting and only necessary free agent signings. 

-  I didn't think I had a rooting interest in the game until the Steelers started making a comeback.  That's when I realized I couldn't stomach Ben Rapistberger winning another title.  Fuck him!  I hate his stupid, brain damaged head. 

-  Was yesterday's game a test of karma?  I never believed in that sort of thing before, but I wonder what would have happened if Michael Vick had been playing against the Rapist.  Would they still be playing in an endless game?  My guess is Vick would have won since he seems to have atoned.  Put 'seems' in quotes. 

-  Anyone else find it odd that Vick has received ten times the vitriol for harming dogs than Big Ben received for harming another human being?  Sorry, 'allegedly harming'.  Are dogs now more sacred than women?  I've noticed the same trend in movies.  Any human character can be killed off in the most gruesome way possible, but the family pet will always survive. 

-  Why was no mention made of the turf at Dallas Stadium?  It sure seemed like standard tackles and falls were causing major injuries to players on both sides.  At one point Big Ben slipped for no reason and twisted his knee.  Was that turf not designed for cold weather?  I know it's inside, but there was something odd going on with that field that nobody talked about.  How does Woodson break his collar bone just diving for a ball?  How does whoever that Steeler receiver was not recover from simply bumping his ankle on the turf?

-  Look, if the Black Eyed Peas wants to perform at halftime, couldn't they at least change their performance from that last 22 awards show they've been on?  Even the stupid flashing suit was the same.  Do they sleep in these outfits?  I did enjoy Slash and Fergie (who seemed to be making fun of Axl Rose) doing 'Sweet Child of Mine' if only to see Slash quickly dash off stage when his solo was over.  How long do you think he was under that stage?

-  How much did the dancers in the glowing suits get paid?

-  Movie that looks awesome:  'Battle for Los Angeles'. 

-  My favorite ads:  The Pepsi Max husband/wife one; The Bud Light dog sitter; Bud Light 'Hack Job'; Audi's Escaping Luxury Prison made by Kenny G's appearance; Doritos one which brought things back to life (loved the dust coming off the reincarnated grandfather); the two Bridgestone ads: The Reply to All and the Beaver one; and the Volkswagen one with little Darth Vader.

Winner:  Motorola's tablet ad that takes a swipe at Apple.  Fight the power!

-  My least favorite:  Doritos dog one, which was a lot of build up for a stupid ending; nearly any car commercial; any Go Daddy (really?  Joan Rivers??); Budweiser saloon one; nearly every movie ad...wait..

Quick sidenote:  I've noticed that the more a movie advertises itself, the worse it will be.  Therefore you can assume the new Adam Sandler/Jennifer Aniston one will be atrocious and 'Rango' (the Johnny Depp as a lizard one) will be just as bad. 

Loser:  The Justin Bieber/Ozzy Osborne one.  Fell flat and I can't even remember what it was for.

-  Was Cameron Diaz feeding popcorn to A-Rod because his manicure was still drying?

-  Forget Aguilera messing up the lines of the National Anthem (I didn't even notice), how about her butchering the song?  That was terrible and I couldn't help thinking the applause at the end wasn't for her (as she surely thought), but that it was finally over.  Or maybe everyone was really excited to see the planes fly over?  Wait, is that stadium open?  Did the people in attendance even see the fly over?

Ok, I'm done.  Back to work.  Enjoy your Monday!

Today's distraction:  Rate the SB commercials and watch any you may have missed.

Thursday, February 3, 2011


I give!  Mercy!  Uncle!  Enough!  Which ever safe word is needed I'll scream it in order to stop this madness. 

I have been alive 43 years and, while I obviously can't remember the first few years or large chunks of my twenties, I can safely say I have never seen a winter like this one before.  Usually the Boston area can expect a major snow storm or two with some 3 - 4 inch storms in between, but it has never been like this.

Since the Monday following Christmas, Boston has been hit with a major storm on a weekly basis.  We've accumulated over 70 inches of snow this season.  But it's the enormity of each storm that's stunning.  Nearly two feet of snow that first storm, followed by 8 inches, 15 inches, 7 inches, 10 inches.  Yesterday put the literal and figurative icing on the cake when snow turned to freezing rain.  Ten foot snow piles (two of which border my driveway) are now the equivalent of concrete.  That shit ain't moving until May. 

Three different times I've marveled at the snowbank in my front yard, thinking 'I've never seen it that high before' only to have the next storm pile another 10 inches on top of it.  Icicles taller than my kids are hanging from my roof.  I've broken them off only to have another three foot one take its place in less than a week. 

We're not even halfway through February and my boys have no snow days left.  They are - of course - loving it.  They sled down the rock wall in our back yard because there is so much snow it now resembles a luge run.  Now that everything is iced over they can sled down from the top and make it clear across the yard.  If it wasn't 5 degrees yesterday I may have tried it myself. 

I've worked at my current job for 9 years.  In that time our office has closed twice.  Once for a massive 30 inch storm and once for a water main break that flooded our entire block.  We've closed three times this winter already.  Yesterday didn't count, either, as they opened late then closed early. 

This is just the tip of the iceberg (which could be a literal thing this winter.  It would surprise nobody if an iceberg were floating in Boston harbor right now). Traffic is snarled because trucks and buses can't fit in the narrowed streets, trains are delayed, subways are breaking down, it's taking twice the time to get to work.  I would be more productive just working from home until all this snow is gone. 

And that doesn't even get to where we're going to put all this shit.  There is a snow pile in Waltham that is five stories high.  Residents in the area are freaking out that the entire neighborhood will be flooded when it starts to melt, apparently forgetting that snow doesn't melt all at once.  The EPA is considering giving the city permission to dump snow into the harbor.  Truck drivers have been caught illegally dumping in the Merrimack River, although, frankly, when this snow melts most of it flows right into the river anyway.  Roofs are caving in, cars are buried in snow and ice, some parking lots won't be clear until June. 

In short, we've all had enough.  I can deal with a random, freak storm, but six storms in one winter (barely two months, to be specific) is torturous.  I can take it no more. 

So, whoever is in charge, enough.  Please.  Whatever sacrifice I need to make - short of my family and beer - I will make.  Just send me the message loud and clear.

If you could let me know before this Saturday storm hits, that would be great. 

Today's distraction:  See how Boston's snow total measures up to Shaq.  We've already buried Nate Robinson.