Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Yeah, I know.

All three of you reading this are thinking ‘What the fuck, dude?’ or ‘Where you been?’ or ‘Where’s my bag of weed?’ or, more likely, ‘This blog is still active?’

What can I say, I'm suddenly a busy man.

I’m nothing if not fair, though, so here are some mini entries to get us caught up. Each will have their own title so as not to cause confusion. I know my readers can be easily confused.

Ice Melt

One of the under reported horrors of winter is the inevitable melting of snow hiding all the shit that it buried months ago. Yesterday Boston hit 50 degrees and now the corpses of long discarded Christmas trees, the skeletal remains of fallen branches, sodden litter and broken umbrellas are visible everywhere.

What’s worse is the snow is black and disgusting. All the sand and salt is piled up on the sidewalks and gutters of the streets. It’s nasty and will remain so until all the snow has melted and the street sweepers get out and take care of their business.

In the meantime, how much of this gets washed into the sewers and out into the harbors and rivers?

Chicago, Chicago

My over night trip to Chicago was a success in one way, a failure in another.
My project went perfectly and I was in and out without a snag. Although it was snowing again when I was flying out of Boston and had nightmares of my being stuck at Logan for hours. Fortunately, it had turned to mostly rain by mid morning and I was off without incident.

My in flight entertainment to Chicago was ‘The American’ with George Clooney which I would recommend mainly because it has a TORRID sex scene, plenty of nudity of the female variety and sudden, graphic violence.

Once I got there, contact was made with Kos who blew me off because he ran out of tampons or something. He was actually sick, but it’s guy code to bust another guy when he wouldn’t meet you for drinks. I’m betting he was actually getting laid by some smoking hot chick which is the only way not meeting me for beers is excusable.

That and the stomach bug. I want no part of that.

In flight entertainment going back to Boston was ‘Machete’ which, if you like over the top violence and 70’s style exploitation movies, I can’t recommend enough. It even has Steven Seagal as a fat, bad guy. It was nice to see Ana Lucia and Captain Frank reunited in the same movie, as well. When the first few minutes of a movie contains multiple decapitations and a cell phone hidden in a female’s privates, I’m all in for the remainder. I’m pretty sure that’s written down somewhere.

Job Hunt

Have had multiple phone interviews, a few face to face interviews, but there has yet to be a job that I really want. One was close, but it was on the south shore and I would have had to drive through Boston to get there. Using calculations from my trip home from the interview, it would have taken me approximately FOR-FUCKING-EVER to commute home.

Had an interview on Friday for a favorable position, but during the process more than one person dropped that the company had about 11 months of money left to operate on. Not exactly selling the company, guys.

A buddy of mine just emailed me that his company has an opening so will follow up with that, but things are still tough out there. The economy may be recovering, but it seems that the ones benefiting are the ones that fucked everyone over in the first place.

Good for them.

The Visitor

Just after Christmas, there was a scrabbling sound in the ceiling in our bedroom. I was awake at 5 am pounding on it, yelling at whatever was in there to shut the fuck up. The next day I got mouse traps and set them around the house and in the basement.

I caught nothing.

We get two feet of snow and we haven’t heard a sound. I’m thinking whatever it was left the house in the morning and got buried or trapped out there. Or maybe it just died. I didn’t much care other than it was no longer borrowing through the wood in my house.

Yesterday I get out of the shower and I hear the fucker again. Only he (or it) is in the wall now.

This raises several questions:

1: How has this thing survived this long? It’s not taking any food from the traps or from our kitchen. I’ve left crumbs here and there to see if they’re gone the next morning.

2: How is it getting so far up into our house? Is it a bird? Definitely not loud enough to be a squirrel. If it’s a bird, that would explain how it feeds but how is it getting in and out? I did a walk around and there are no gaps I can see along the eaves of the house.

3: Where has it been for the past two months? Hibernating?

One thing I know for sure – this rodent will not be long for this world. I’ve drilled into that ceiling before and will do so again.

Of course you know…this means war!

Today’s distraction: Classic ads for current products. Maybe it’s just me…


Clayton Bigsby said...

Kos' blog disappeared too. His last post was about him getting stabbed. Maybe it's a case for Dr. House.

Clayton Bigsby said...

And i hate the melt. Wet and dirty shoes, occasional wet sock, and the 10 jugs of wiper fluid you go through every spring. I'd rather it warm and melt slowly.

Rob said...

Beach -- did you see the WSJ today? A big feature about pedestrian rage. Those slow walkers, those 3 abreast walkers, the generally clueless crowds are causing all kinds of backlash. Of course, the psychologists are saying if you even mutter under your breath at these folks you've got a serious problem. No doubt those psychologists are living in some sparsely populated town.

BeachBum said...

Bigs, I wanted the full story behind the stabbing while I was there. Wonder if it had to do with one of his entries which is why he stopped writing. Or if he's suffering PSTD. He'll be back I'm sure.

Rob, those idiot walkers should be afraid of us. There were three women standing and chatting on a sidewalk by my office. They left no room for anyone else to get through, so I just plowed right through them. Knocked one of their bags off their shoulder, too.

If my philosophy regarding inconsiderate pedestrians could be boiled down to two words, it would be: Fuck them!

c. said...

Ugg the melt has hit the greater chicagoland area as well and it's terrible. The worst is when it's 50 all day, everything melts flash flood-style and then proceeds to freeze at night into giant slabs of ice. I am not naturally graceful as it is, I don't need mini-glaciers to fuck up my run.

In unrelated news, I will be in Boston this spring. I was hoping to pick your brain for 'must go/see/eat' places.

BeachBum said...

Ooooo, I'll have to make an entire entry about places to see when you're here. Do you know where you'll be staying? I'll try to focus on that area, if possible.

c. said...

Is Eli Gould hitting on Ugly Betty??? Also, I will find out where our hotel is and get back to you. Thanks for being willing to give suggestions!

c. said...

I just found out we will be staying at the Boston Mariott Longhorn. Go!