I give! Mercy! Uncle! Enough! Which ever safe word is needed I'll scream it in order to stop this madness.
I have been alive 43 years and, while I obviously can't remember the first few years or large chunks of my twenties, I can safely say I have never seen a winter like this one before. Usually the Boston area can expect a major snow storm or two with some 3 - 4 inch storms in between, but it has never been like this.
Since the Monday following Christmas, Boston has been hit with a major storm on a weekly basis. We've accumulated over 70 inches of snow this season. But it's the enormity of each storm that's stunning. Nearly two feet of snow that first storm, followed by 8 inches, 15 inches, 7 inches, 10 inches. Yesterday put the literal and figurative icing on the cake when snow turned to freezing rain. Ten foot snow piles (two of which border my driveway) are now the equivalent of concrete. That shit ain't moving until May.
Three different times I've marveled at the snowbank in my front yard, thinking 'I've never seen it that high before' only to have the next storm pile another 10 inches on top of it. Icicles taller than my kids are hanging from my roof. I've broken them off only to have another three foot one take its place in less than a week.
We're not even halfway through February and my boys have no snow days left. They are - of course - loving it. They sled down the rock wall in our back yard because there is so much snow it now resembles a luge run. Now that everything is iced over they can sled down from the top and make it clear across the yard. If it wasn't 5 degrees yesterday I may have tried it myself.
I've worked at my current job for 9 years. In that time our office has closed twice. Once for a massive 30 inch storm and once for a water main break that flooded our entire block. We've closed three times this winter already. Yesterday didn't count, either, as they opened late then closed early.
This is just the tip of the iceberg (which could be a literal thing this winter. It would surprise nobody if an iceberg were floating in Boston harbor right now). Traffic is snarled because trucks and buses can't fit in the narrowed streets, trains are delayed, subways are breaking down, it's taking twice the time to get to work. I would be more productive just working from home until all this snow is gone.
And that doesn't even get to where we're going to put all this shit. There is a snow pile in Waltham that is five stories high. Residents in the area are freaking out that the entire neighborhood will be flooded when it starts to melt, apparently forgetting that snow doesn't melt all at once. The EPA is considering giving the city permission to dump snow into the harbor. Truck drivers have been caught illegally dumping in the Merrimack River, although, frankly, when this snow melts most of it flows right into the river anyway. Roofs are caving in, cars are buried in snow and ice, some parking lots won't be clear until June.
In short, we've all had enough. I can deal with a random, freak storm, but six storms in one winter (barely two months, to be specific) is torturous. I can take it no more.
So, whoever is in charge, enough. Please. Whatever sacrifice I need to make - short of my family and beer - I will make. Just send me the message loud and clear.
If you could let me know before this Saturday storm hits, that would be great.
Today's distraction: See how Boston's snow total measures up to Shaq. We've already buried Nate Robinson.