Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been a while; I'm a fucking slacker; blah blah blah...
If you couldn't tell, I'm sporting a very bad attitude. I was hoping I could kick my ass out of this funk, but nothing (not even beer!) has worked. I figured venting here might help as it has in the past.
What brings on my piss poor view on life? Glad you asked (and if you didn't I know you really wanted to).
Reason #1: Wifey has a habit of kissing our boys on the mouth every night when they go to bed. Normally I'm fine with this, but during the cold and flu season I've asked her on several occasions to kiss them on the cheek instead. While I suspect I'm becoming a germaphobe there is a part of me that considers kissing your own mother on the mouth a bit...off. Sure, they're young, but when does it end?
Still, I can deal with my own misgivings regarding appropriate mother/son behavior as long as it doesn't go past first base. That's still first base, right? That hasn't suddenly leaped to blow jobs over the past decade?
What I have an issue with is Wifey getting sick, then handing that lovely virus on to the boys. At which point I become fully involved with late night comforting or having to stay home from work to watch them when they're too sick to go to school or any number of things that usually involve sick kids.
For my part I've kept to the 'just a hug' for the good night routine.
Care to guess how this has all turned out? Just as you would expect. Wifey and the two boys have passed along a cold/flu/scarlet fever/superbug hybrid virus that has made the house a living hell the past two weeks. Both boys are borderline asthmatic and any type of cold becomes cause for concern. Nebulizer treatments are needed three times a day, vapor baths to help clear their heads out, trips to CVS at midnight when we realize we're out of children's cold medicine. And you can imagine who the one heading out in the dead of night is.
Reason #2: The trickle down effect of the above scenario means my work load doubles. Since Wifey is sick I now need to get the boys dinner, clean up, get them ready for bed along with my usual duties of getting them up and dressed in the morning, making them breakfast (which, granted, usually means pouring them a bowl of cereal), making their lunches and dropping them off at school before even getting to work.
As I stress to Wifey: When one person in our house gets sick, it has an effect on everyone. Not just the person who is sick.
Reason #3: Between Wifey getting sick and taking nearly two weeks to fully recover (these viruses are becoming much more potent, I'm convinced) and the boys stealing sleep from me, I haven't had any in a while. And you know what I mean by 'any'. Let's not kid ourselves, that can take a toll. I'm having a hard time thinking straight and my fuse is whisker short.
Reason #4: My friend DA has not called me in a while. I'm still waiting to hear about Mexico. This is a test to see if she's still reading, for the record.
Reason #5: I was just finishing up this entry when the site crashed, wiping out nearly half my work.
Reason #6: For lack of a better phrase, I just got royally fucked over at work. Our department is in the process of 'transforming'. This apparently is the new word for 'outsourcing jobs to an external company'. We've known about it for a while and there have been positions open in the reorg - one of which I was interested in and supremely qualified for.
So qualified, in fact, that I've been doing the job for the past two years. I had officially entered my name for the spot, was given positive feedback from the higher ups and....
...nothing. I haven't heard a word in months. I figured the transition is still under way (we have a long way to go before this thing even starts) and didn't really give it much thought.
Until I get a call from my manager explaining that they gave the spot to another guy.
I know what you're thinking: 'So what? Happens all the time and I'm sure that other dude was just as qualified'. Oh, if only. I would not nearly be as livid as I am now. To put it in perspective, I've known about this for over a week and red still seeps into my vision when I think about it.
See, the guy they picked is a fucking disaster. His area is a mess, he's caused more problems than anyone in the field and....
...he calls me when he has trouble. That's right. The idiot that contacts me to clean up his messes is getting the job over me.
If you know me at all (or even read here occasionally) I did not take this news well. Many F-Bombs were dropped. When asked for an explanation, my manager (who hasn't been my manager very long, mind you) stammered and stuttered and basically had no answer for me.
In short, they hired the guy I clean up after for the job I wanted (and, frankly, deserved) and there is no clear cut explanation why this decision was made.
You can see how this would bother me. I don't need to tell you that my work ethic has suffered a bit under the affliction commonly known as 'Fuck this place!' What's worse is I was finishing up a project that falls directly under what this new role is going to be doing. I had to slog through the rest of the project knowing it held no sway on my standing in a company I've worked nine years for.
As it stands now I have two projects to complete. One will be in DC next week, the other will be here. I already have a meeting scheduled for a recruiter to help me figure out the next step and a buddy of mine is trying to get me an interview at his company.
While I realize it is petty and childish of me, there is nothing I would like better than to give my notice before this transformation kicks off (I have two months). I would like to think that my manager would be shocked if I left. Sadly, I know this isn't the case. He barely knows me and it sure seems obvious they don't think they need me working here any longer. I actually think this helps them out; if I leave of my own accord they won't have to deal with me during the transformation.
Still, this smarts. Nothing says 'fuck off' better than busting your ass and getting no recognition or respect for your efforts.
For the time being I will wallow in my fuck my work-ness, go through the motions of my job, finish up the projects I need to and leave this place properly and professionally.
I will give one hell of an exit interview, though.
Today's distraction: Five corporate promotions that went wrong. And PREDICTABLY went wrong. I loved Cracked.com.