Tuesday, July 5, 2011

By The Numbers

Some stats from the past week.

0:  Amount of fun I had in Jacksonville last week.  The area is mind bogglingly huge.  According to one dude I spoke with, the Jacksonville area covers 82.7 square miles.  Much of that is littered with 'town centers' which is apparently the new term for 'strip malls'.  Not my favorite city. 

1:  Number of days I wore socks this past weekend.  This correlates with the number of days I wore underwear, as well.  Don't judge. 

2:  Number of cigars smoked.  The best being an Oliva while watching the fireworks from my back deck. 

4:  Amount of sleep in hours last night....  

5:  ...because some numbnuts in neighborhood decided to light off this number of M80s at one thirty this morning.  I considered calling the cops but opted to scream out my window 'Cut the shit!  Some of us have to work today!'  Amazingly, no more fireworks were launched after that.  Sometimes policing ourselves is the best remedy. 

7:  Hours spent on my brother in law's boat Sunday.  Cruised Boston Harbor, anchored off one of the islands and swam around for a bit.  He then took out his portable grill and we had burgers, steak tips and chicken on the open seas.  Made both Wifey and I talk about getting our own boat.  We'll see.  Much saving to do if we consider that. 

10:  Number of hours I spent configuring my new iTouch.  Wifey bought it for me and didn't realize she only got me an 8 Gig version (I know, I'm an ingrate!).  My current iPod has 30 Gigs of which more than half is filled.  So I spent the weekend arranging playlists and deciding which albums I had to have on the new one.  Not sure I'm a fan, btw.  The iPod Classic is much easier to blindly switch songs or turn the volume up or down.  The iTouch you need to unlock every two minutes. It also has games, email, and other apps that I don't need nor want that take space away from actual music.  I do like the longer battery life, though, so I'll find a way to keep it around.   

11:  Hours leading up to the fireworks in which the boys were super excited.

12:  Minutes after the fireworks started they were already bored.  I'll ask again why they start so late.  Every year up until last year they started at 10 pm.  Maybe even sooner.  The Pops launch into the 1812 Overture and the fireworks kick off at the end of the song.  Now we have to wait another 30 - 45 minutes.  What gives?

14:  Number of summer days before I got sunburned.  Ironically, it was not on the boat.  I was smart enough to spray 50 SPF all over myself before heading out.  No, this happened while I was giving our cars the annual winter clean out.  Washing, vacuuming, etc.  Didn't realize how much time I spent in the sun and now I'm red as a well cooked lobster.  Let's just say my top doesn't have as much coverage as it used to.

15:  Work days left before I take my first summer vacation.  Unfortunately it will be to better myself through education which (hopefully) will land be a better job.  At least I'll be out of the office. 

16.5:  Number of hours I worked last Wednesday.  It culminated with me climbing into a ceiling to determine why a wireless access point wasn't working.  Oh, and the air conditioning in the building was shut down at 6 pm which meant it was approximately 125 degrees when I was doing this. 

21.1:  Inches of rain (exaggerated approximation) that fell in the three days I was in Florida.  Most of that was one hellacious thunderstorm that was so torrential, I could see it coming across the parking lot.  Just a wall of water advancing towards me as I considered my options: Chance it and hope I get to the car before it got to me or stay in the store and wait it out.  I chose to wait it out but had to sprint through it anyway as I realized it wasn't going to end anytime soon.  I started carrying an umbrella everywhere I went after that.  Even if the sun was shining so brightly I could barely see.

33:  Beers consumed since Friday afternoon.  Also the number of years I've been abusing my liver and kidneys.  Poor organ bastards. 

35:  Approximate number of times my boys heard the F word while I was listening to the Beastie Boys around them.  Whatever.  Can't protect them forever.  Chances are they've heard it many times from my mouth already. 

39:  Hours it took my boys to finish their first Captain Coolatta from Dunkin Donuts.  The things are so massive they won't even fit in a standard cup holder. 

50:  Hours of work I have to do this week.  That's not approximate, either.  That's a low ball estimate.  50 hours in four days.  No wonder I had 33 beers this past weekend. 

65:  Days left until school starts again.  I'm enjoying not having to make lunches and drag the boys out of bed.  Just having to worry about getting myself ready in the morning is like a vacation in and of itself. 

100:  Number of hours my 11 year old has spent playing Call of Duty: Black Ops since he got it for his birthday.  I must admit, it's thoroughly addicting. 

112:  Number of days since the NFL lockout began and - frankly - I'm starting to freak out.  Get this done, NFLers.  This is fucking ridiculous!!  Nine billion is the (rough) estimate in the amount of revenue you're bickering over.  There's plenty to go around. 

364:  Days that have passed since I was luxuriating on Grand Cayman.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do and sobbing to suppress. 

Today's distraction:  Statistical evidence on why I drink.  Not added is 'Because it's yummy'.

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