Monday, August 1, 2011

It's ALIVE!!

Yes, I'm still alive and kicking.  Yes, I know I've been slacking when it comes to this space.  Yes, C, I read your comment and you can consider this one dedicated to you.  Yes, DA, I know you just took exception to me dedicating this to C, but tough.  She at least comments now and then in this space.

In my defense, I've started two or three entries only to be interrupted with work or family or spectacular summer weather.  Those are pretty much trashed, although I do have one I still have drafted that I'll post soon.  I'll even give you the working title as a tease:  Alcoholic Haze.  Let your imaginations run wild. 

Let's get caught up, shall we?

-  Forget the free agent signings, questionable and risky trades by the Patriots, and the non stop coverage from ESPN, nothing matched the flurry of emails, texts and phone calls after the NFL lockout ended than fantasy leagues frantically putting together their draft day.  Mine is September 3rd and I'm going to get wrecked. 

After the draft is over, of course. 

-  Spent last week in a technical training class.  It isn't often I get to hang out with others in my line of work so when I do I marvel at my uniqueness.  See, most technical people don't have what we refer to as 'social skills'.  They can barely talk about anything besides work and simply making eye contact is a bit of a challenge.  I was somewhat alarmed that every single member of the class (save one) was VERY over weight.  Is that where I'm heading?

-  One dude I did get along with was the one guy who opened lunch with 'who likes football?'.  We proceeded to spend the week passing updates along.  I briefly won a bet in which I said Albert Haynesworth would show up out of shape.  After all, lockout + untold millions + bad attitude from big guy = heart attack in week one of camp.  We thought that's why the Pats pulled him on the first day of practice only to have them announce he hadn't taken his fitness test.  I still wasn't buying until it was confirmed he was practicing the next day. 

-  Spent a weekend in Vermont in which Wifey decided to bring our dog along for the trip.  We were visiting her brother who had his own dog.  His dog is obsessed with fetching any and all balls that are thrown.  During our last visit, she wore herself out so much she walked with a limp for two days. 

Anyway, our dog and her dog sniffed around each other for a bit, ignored each other for another while, then started running after each other.  Then a ball was introduced and my dog had the shit kicked out of him when he went for the ball.  Female is very territorial with her fetching apparently.  Neither dog was hurt, but the pecking order had been established for the rest of the weekend. 

-  Vermont advertises maple syrup, mountains, serene rivers and spectacular views.  Know what they don't tell you about?  Flies.  Millions of relentless, biting, annoying fucking flies.  Bug spray won't kill them, repellent doesn't repel them, you can't kill them all because they are infinite (I call them hydraflies because I'm convinced two come back when you kill one), and their bites itch for weeks.  And this was during a bright, sunny day.  I didn't dare go out when the sun went down.  The boys had no such issues and spent an hour jumping on the trampoline.  The next morning my youngest wakes with a bite on the side of his head the size of a walnut.  I would not have been surprised if one of these fuckers showed up

-  I'm 90% convinced this entire political gamesmanship over the debt ceiling is all theater.  My cynical nature knows there has been a deal in place for a while, but both parties needed to show they were willing to fight for their people.  It's all bullshit and makes me hate everyone involved that much more.  Both Obama and CryBaby Boehner should be ashamed of themselves.  When is the black man in Obama going to show itself?  When is he going to simply say 'I'm the fucking President and we're doing it this way.  Don't make me bitch slap you in public then dunk on you in our next pickup game!  I'll do it, mothafucka!'  Maybe I just want Samuel Jackson as President. 

-  Last weekend was our long awaited clambake.  This was something we bid for at silent auction almost a year ago.  It was for 15 people, the catering company provided everything (including napkins, plastic utensils, lobster crackers, linens for the tables and trash cans) then took everything away when it was over.  The only evidence they were ever there was everyone's full stomach and a burn mark in the grass where they put the boiling pot down.  It was great! 

Quick movie reviews:

Captain America:  Better than Thor, not as good as Iron Man, entertaining enough. 

The Tourist:  Watched this and was bored throughout.  You can only watch Angelina Jolie walk through a crowd with a smirk on her face for so long.  Great job making Johnny Depp devoid of any personality.  In short, this was a train wreck. 

Easy A:  Perfect role for Emma Stone (who stole my heart in 'Superbad') and hilarious supporting roles.  Story seems a bit far fetched, but enjoyable all around.  Stupid ending. 

City of God:  Got around to watching this on the recommendation of several readers and was not disappointed.  Not for everyone as there are several gut wrenching scenes of children being maimed and killed as well as doing the maiming and killing, but it stays with you.  Probably forever. 

The Last Airbender:Ang.  Not Ung.  Fucking ridiculous.  The terrible acting, dialog and zero sense of humor didn't help.  Maybe it's me, but I don't remember there being a dragon tutoring Ang, either.  Did I miss that in the series?

One quick television note:

If you have Starz, check out 'Torchwood: Miracle Day'.  I never saw the original series, but this one is interesting and entertaining enough for me to seek it out.  Basically everyone in the world stops dying and the Torchwood team is brought in to figure out why.  Seems like a British version of X-Files with more explicit content.

Am I missing anything?  Probably.  The old noggin' ain't working like it used to.  I'll get to work on finishing the other entry as soon as I can. 

Until next time. 

Today's distraction:  A timeline of the seemingly endless Debt Ceiling negotiations.  Be interested to see what irrelevant and needless bills have been tacked on to this agreement.  Politicians suck.


c. said...

A blog DEDICATION? Consider me humbled and deeply appreciative. I was just looking for a little distraction at the hand of your witty prose.

The only movie I can speak to was Easy A. Gosh I like that Emma Stone. I'm jazzed for The Help to hit theatres. I'm not sure if that is a book that boys read...but it was GOOD.

Thanks again for the blog. Made my Monday.

kos said...

City of God was great, glad you finally watched it. I haven't seen any of the other movies on your list. I did go see horrible bosses though and it was pretty great!Good to have you back.

BeachBum said...

Well, I had to do something to make it special, C.

Thanks, Kos. Trying to get back her more often, but there is a lot going on.

I just realized half my review of The Last Airbender was cut out. The first half. Whatever. If it doesn't make sense that's why.