Friday, August 26, 2011

Scattered To The Wind

Why, hi!
I'm back from vacation, caught up on work and this blog's best friend's personal life, nearly ready for my fantasy football draft and now have time to share some random thoughts.  Consider yourselves lucky because, according to the over hyped news machine, the most destructive and scariest hurricane since Katrina is  bearing down on New England.  It's going to kill everybody, man!!!

So this might be my last entry.  Enjoy. 

-  Let's start with work first.  My second day on vacation I get a text from a coworker that reads 'Call me'.  So, since I do what any text tells me to do, I call her after I get home from the beach have a gin and tonic, a shot of Goldschlagger, and open a beer.  Yeah, it was that type of vacation. 

Anyway, she goes on to tell me that they laid off a bunch of my coworkers and they want me to go to the new outsourced company when they take over in the new year.  Good times!  Oh, and thanks for ruining my vacation.  She adds that our manager will be calling me soon to go over what the hell is happening in this crazy company. 

Sure enough, he emails me asking to chat.  I tell him tomorrow morning even though he would like to talk that night.  Fuck that!  I'm already well into my third beer and I know if I get pissed I'll wind up losing my job.  I have a hard enough time keeping my trap shut when I'm sober. 

Next morning arrives, I take the call on the couch of the condo we're renting, Wifey is puttering around getting breakfast made and packing for the beach.  While listening to my side of the conversation she keeps motioning me to 'Calm down'.  That was until my manager says 'Unfortunately, you're move will involve a slight paycut' and I respond with 'Define slight pay cut'. Wifey whips around and mouths 'WHAT???!!!'

So, yeah.  They 'want to keep' me on board, but they're moving me to a different company, making me take a pay cut, and basically taking away my ability to do my job in any effective way.  My response: I now have a head hunter working to get me the fuck out of this place and my attitude towards everybody is horrendous.

But, hey, this is a 'global economy', right?  As my manager said, 'At least you have a job' which was small consolation when I found out the laid off employees were getting paid through the end of the year.  Fuck, give me that instead.  I'll do contract or temp work and get double pay for three months. 

-  We're in the midst of a religious experiment, by the way.  My mother in law called to tell me she was 'praying' for me and my job situation.  Let's see if her god helps me out at all.  Although I suspect the gods of headhunting will be much more effective. 

-  Heard through a reliable grapevine that CIO (who is spearheading this outsourcing model) got his ass reamed by our CEO because of the way things were handled.  It's not looking good for him, which I couldn't be happier about.  It's only been a week and we've fired two of the contractors brought in to replace the laid off workers.  Well done.  So far the experience has been less than ideal.  I get the feeling it's only going to get worse, too. 

-  Let's talk about my (sort of) relaxing vacation.  Excluding the job drama, we basically beached it every day, my brother in law caught a 41 inch, 29 pound striped bass which we all had for dinner, I drank my fucking face off for six straight days, and managed not to get sunburned.  All in all a great week.  Wish I were back there now. 

-  School is starting soon, so my life becomes dictated by the boys' schedule once again.  I love summer for a variety of reasons, but not having to drop them off every morning ranks right up there. 

-  I'm supposed to visit the Philly office next week, but Irene (that would be the DEADLIEST HURRICANE EVER) is causing travel problems.  Already canceled my train tickets and will probably just drive down when the storm passes.

-  I should point out that all this hoopla surrounding the hurricane means it's probably going to blow out to sea and not bother us in the least.  That's usually how it works.  Stupid news whores. 

-  JC Monahan - my morning weather hottie - is off this week, too.  Not only is she the sexiest forecaster in Boston, she's the most accurate.  I want her take on this hurricane before I make any decisions. 

-  Just like old times:  I had a lovely and long over due conversation with DA who still possesses one of the greatest laughs in human history.  Nothing makes my spirits soar higher than making her laugh while she calls me an asshole.  Twice.  Got her to do it twice. 

-  Also, like old times, she nearly ended my marriage for the third or fourth time.  Long story, but if you ever met DA, you'd completely understand.  Miss you, my friend. 

-  Speaking of assholes, my six year old called another kid that exact word and nearly got into a fist fight with him while doing so.  My older son broke it up before anyone was hurt and six year old spent a LONG time in his room.  But, as I told Wifey when she called me about it, in his defense that kid really is an asshole.  Sort of proud that 1:  he stuck up for himself and 2: he used the term correctly. 

-  Oh, hey, we had an earthquake here.  One I actually felt while I was working.  I leaned back in my chair and suddenly thought I was suffering from vertigo.  Everything swayed, my bookcase shook a bit and I immediately texted Wifey with 'Either something exploded or we just had an earthquake'. 

I thought earthquake immediately because a few summers ago I had experienced what an explosion felt like when one of the power grid's huge transformers blew up.  It brought down everyone's computers at work and made the lights flicker dramatically.  We could see the black smoke a few blocks away.  Ever smelled an electrical fire?  Man, it is nasty. 

Earthquakes make everything sway, explosions make everything shudder.  You can definitely tell the difference.  Not sure if I should be glad I know that. 

-  Between Japan's tsunami, the first major earthquake the east coast has felt in decades, birds and fish dropping dead without explanation, my brother in law actually catching a fish, and me writing a new entry I'm thinking the Aztecs were right:  Maybe the world is ending in 2012.  In which case we're all going to look like idiots for keeping those 401Ks.  If French or 10 pop up with a new blog entry I'm going to be really freaked out, man. 

-  Went out drinking with some coworkers last night and was introduced to Scholar's on School Street.  Enjoyable, spacious and the prices were surprisingly low for the look of the place.  Five bucks for a bottle of Sankaty Light (it's made in Nantucket).  Plus they have a HUGE upstairs with pool tables and a second bar.  Highly recommended.  My only issue was the seemingly overwhelming number of lawyers that were there.  I could do without them. 

-  Speaking of beer, a west coast buddy of mine shipped me a huge bottle of Arrogant Bastard Ale (which I can't buy around here).  Very hoppy and bitter, so it's not an every day beer, but I loved it.  Hell, it's beer.  Of course I loved it. 

Need to get ready for a conference call now.  Maybe I'll do a running blog of Hurricane Irene over the weekend.  Here's a preview:

-  It's windy.  And rainy. 

-  Yep, still windy and rainy.  Hoping those two trees blocking my view topple over. 

-  Just windy now.  Rain has let up. 

The end. 

Today's distraction:  Six people who screwed up entire economies.  I can relate to number six.  Enjoy your weekends. 


c. said...

2 things:

1. Sorry about all the job bullshit. Long distance condolences.

2. "...I drank my fucking face off for six straight days, and managed not to get sunburned." This line really solidified a thought I've had for awhile, which is that I wish we were real friends instead of just internet friends. Just saying.

BeachBum said...

I don't like the implication that internet friends are not real friends.

But, I hear ya.