Monday, September 17, 2012

NFL Postmortem - Week 2

Man alive, what a Sunday. 

First, my morning was spent trying to figure out if Hakeem Nicks was going to play.  He was listed as 'Questionable' all week.  My gut told me he was going to play.  Ten days off between games, he's been resting all week, he looked decent in the opener (even if Eli didn't). 

Finally, around 11:30 I get word that he's going to play.  Off I head to my buddy's house to watch the Pats.

On my way, I get a text that Wifey reads off to me 'Nicks is inactive!'

What the hell?  Fortunately (not really, but stay with me) I have Yahoo's Fantasy app on my phone.  I walk Wifey through changing my roster - replacing Nicks with Lance Moore.  Go ahead and check out the disparity between those two yesterday. 

I get to my former friend's house and he's got the wide screen TV, a laptop streaming another game with another laptop showing everyone's fantasy scores.

Imagine my surprise when Hakeem Nicks pops up with numbers.  'Uh, dude?'

His face drops, 'I swear the TV said he was inactive.  Yahoo confirmed it'.

I spend the afternoon watching Nicks fantasy score climb to over 30 points.  Lance Moore?  My replacement?  4 points. 

Second, there is a new guy in my league who replaced a psycho all of us wanted gone.  Draft day seemed fine, but once the games started he's turned into a flaming asshole.  He jumped the waiver wire to steal Ogletree THE DAY Dallas was playing.  Several of us protested, but he's refusing to hand him over (we all hope Ogletree never catches another ball the rest of the season).

He then offered me two trades the day after Jay Cutler left a steaming pile of fantasy shit all over my computer screen (9 points?????!!!!).  He offered me Drew Brees and some no name RB for Andrew Luck and LeSean McCoy.  No thanks.  I like McCoy and wouldn't trade him for Brady.   Well, maybe....

I refused that trade and he immediately came back with Drew Brees and Toby Gerhart (Petersen's backup) for Petersen and Luck.  To that I said yes.  Hell I get Brees and keep McCoy and DeMarco Murray?  Done and done.  Plus, there is a good chance Petersen has a set back from knee surgery and Gerhart is suddenly valuable. 

Nearly minutes after I accept the trade, someone posts that they would have given this new guy more than I did for Brees.  New Guy posts a few hours later that he wants the trade voided.  Well, fuck that.  I post and say nothing.  The way it works is the trade gets voted on by the league.  If more than half refuse it, the trade is off. 

This morning the trade became official and the commish posts that if we want to void it, we have to re-trade the players back to each other.  New Guy posts 'Yes, please.  Let's do that'.  I'm not doing that.  He offered a trade and I accepted.  Fuck a do over.  Just because he wants a better deal doesn't mean I have to take a bath on it. 

Third, imagine my pleasure when my starting tight end gets hurt on the very opening play of the game.  Yup, I had Aaron Hernandez who is now out for at least six weeks.  Whatever fantasy football god I offended last season with all my injuries is apparently still pissed off at me.  Sorry for whatever I've done, football deity.  I am truly sorry. 

Lastly, of course, is the Pats game itself which fluctuated from anger at their play to elation from a last minute fumble recovery to joy watching Woodhead rumble in for a last second touchdown to frustration over a stupid hold (which was entirely unnecessary) to complacency when I realized our kicker is one of the best in the league to disbelief when he missed a game winner BY A MILE!

Overall it has not been a fun football week for me.  Therefore I'm foregoing any game analysis since my anger will cloud any positive aspects and I'll wind up writing something insulting and regrettable.

Consider this my mature side (finally) showing itself. 

I will give you this, however:

Stat of the Week:  Jay Cutler, Aaron Hernandez and Lance Moore combined to get me 13 fantasy points.  My kicker (Mason Crosby) scored 14. 

Here's hoping I enjoy next Sunday a whole lot better than this one. 

Monday, September 10, 2012

NFL Postmortem - Week 1

Football is back!  Have you heard?? 

Well, it is.  You can tell from the thunderous sound of eyes rolling from every woman in America (except for DA who might be the only female who enjoys the NFL as much as us guys do). 

I, for one, couldn't be happier.  I'm now in THREE fantasy leagues but there is still only one that matters (READ: Involves money).  Since I know you all care so much, here is that team: 

QBs:  Jay Cutler, Josh Freeman, Andrew Luck

RBs:  Adrian Petersen, DeMarco Murray, LeSean McCoy, Ben Tate

WRs:  Hakeem Nicks, Brandon Lloyd, Kenny Britt and his explosive knee ligaments, and a bunch of scrubs. 

TEs:  Aaron Hernandez, Owen Daniels.

K: who cares?

DEF:  Da Bears!

Other than my running backs, I'm not super stoked about my team.  Which might be a good thing.  I was loved my team last year and wound up getting crushed by injuries to Britt, Vick, Fred Jackson (out again already), and nearly every player that hit my roster. 

But let's get to the games.  Boo YEAH!  Some random thoughts while enjoying my first week of NFL RedZone.

-  My buddy and I have a side bet going regarding the Pats tight ends.  I have Hernandez (drafted in the sixth round) he has Gronk (drafted in the second).  I firmly believe this is the year of Hernandez and bet 50 bucks he'll have a better fantasy year than Gronk.  Current score:  Hernandez 15.40 to Gronk's 15.00.  This won't be decided until the very last game. 

As for the game, I'm not taking much from this.  Titans are in the growing pains phase of their rebuilding and the Pats always look good against inferior teams.  One good thing is pretty boy Brady got his nose smashed.  Maybe it will remind him how it feels to play football and bring him back to his gritty glory days. 

One sidenote: Will there be a more devastating play for any team this year than Nate Washington getting crushed followed by Locker injuring his shoulder making a tackle 20 seconds later?  What a nightmare scenario for Tennessee. 

-  I realize it's way too early to read much into any one game, but there is a good chance the Giants might be bad this year.  They looked terrible.  If you can't get geared up for a home game when you're celebrating your Super Bowl, when will you? 

-  Speaking of looking terrible, my aversion to everything Vick was confirmed as accurate yesterday.  He looked awful.  I'd like to thank Reid for staying true to himself once again, as well.  McCoy was running at will through Cleveland's so called defense.  The Eagles are down six, get to the four yard line with time running out (thanks to another great McCoy run, btw), and Reid proceeds to call three pass plays right in a row.  Yes, they did score the winning touchdown so it's tough to second guess this, but why pass when you're four yards from the end zone?  And you have one of the best running QBs and RBs in the league?  Why, Reid??? WHYYYYY????

-  RG3?  I'm a believer. 

-  Weren't the Saints supposed to come out and give everyone the middle finger by bashing the 'Skins?

-  Has anyone looked as terrible in victory as Stafford did yesterday?  Oh, right.  Vick again.

-  Two big names coming off knee surgery looked fantastic:  Jamaal Charles and Adrian Petersen.  Wonder if they went to Germany over the summer?

-  Reason number 452 not to trust 'experts' and injury reports:  Everyone was worrying over Arian Foster's knee and that Ben Tate was the big 'sleeper' of the week.  The reasoning being that Foster would have limited carries even if he started.  Right.  Foster - 26 carries, Tate - 5.  Fuck you all!!

-  While I'm not a fan of Matt Ryan, I have to admit he and the entire Falcon team looked good.  Really good. 

-  If laying the smack down on Rodgers and the Packers in Green Bay doesn't get the attention of the rest of the NFL, then I don't know what San Fran needs to do.  That defense was staggering to watch.  It was like they had 15 guys on the field. 

-  Game that tells us nothing about either team:  Vikings 26 - Jaguars 23.  Although I will say Ponder and Gabbert looked down right competent. 

-  Either Rex Ryan had the Jets play the best possum ever seen in the preseason or Buffalo's defense is historically terrible.  You decide. 

-  Is Peyton Manning really back to his old self?  He certainly looked like himself.  Still, can't shake the dread every Denver fan must also be feeling that he is one awkward hit away from the end of his career. 

-  Fantasy name to consider:  Brandon LaFell.  Now starting next to the ageless Steve Smith in Carolina and had a good game one.  Could be his breakout year.

Stat of the Week:  If you take away Aaron Rodgers' scrambles, San Fran held the Packers to 18 yards on 9 rushes.  2 yards a carry.  Are you fucking kidding?  And Peyton Manning chose Denver over the 49ers why, exactly?

Until next week, my football friends.