Tuesday, November 26, 2013

I'm Saved!

In research that appears to have been undertaken in a direct effort to save me from my own lifestyle (narcissism alert!) scientists at Stanford University School of Medicine have figured out how to convert fat cells into liver cells

Allow me to quickly quote the article link above:

'Unlike most other organs, a healthy liver can regenerate itself to a significant extent. But this capacity cannot overcome acute liver poisoning or damage from chronic alcoholism or viral hepatitis.'

I had no idea a healthy liver can regenerate itself.  Probably because my liver has been gasping for breath since 1985. 

If you're at all familiar with my life choices (what some would call 'raging alcoholism') and growing waist line, this is nothing but good news for me.  I would be cartwheeling down the street if I was sure I wouldn't be bed ridden for the effort. 

Just think, I can now drink even more beer.  Then, when I get fat - a definite side effect of beer drinking, by the way - I can have liposuction and have those cells put into my liver where they will convert and make me invincible.

Invincible, I say!!!

Granted, these tests have only been performed on mice, but my new life partner, Dr. Gary Peltz (MD, PhD, super fucking smart) says the techniques are easily adaptable to humans.  I should point out that I added the 'easily' to that last sentence because I am nothing if not wishful thinking.

Even better, the process of taking fat cells and doing something scientific-like to them to convert them to liver cells takes only nine days.  Quick enough that I could go on once last mega bender before recharging with my own blubber.  Science is awesome!

As a side note, the good doctor points out that this may replace liver transplants.  More importantly, since the process uses the patient's own cells to regenerate, the use of immunosuppressants (drugs people have to take so the body doesn't reject the translplanted organ) will no longer be necessary.

More livers all around, please and thank you.

Well done, people at Stanford. 

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